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catch the whisper..

by BorderBound 

Posted: 10 July 2004
Word Count: 154


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Catch the whisper
As it fades
Vibrates in the air.

I feel numb.
I can’t feel.
I disappear.
You were never real.

Hold the moment
Steal my violence
Sell it to the anti-Christ next door.

Fingers shake
Hesitate to point
But they point at everyone else but you.

Last on my mind?
Me.
As I turn to bed

Stranger in my head
Cursing me.
What happened to those titles I swore I’d be.

Queue to sign up
I’ve done all I can
I can’t go back to that place
Any other place
Like that.

Where they say they’ll teach me.
They try to reach me
How can they preach me
They have no idea what I’m about…

Catch my whisper
As it fades
The voice you hear
Hides.

I have nothing to be proud of.

And still all that I think of,
All that I do,
Every little thing
It comes back to you.






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Comments by other Members



Ticonderoga at 14:24 on 14 July 2004  Report this post
Hi! Terrific sense of pain and frustration and impotence and sadness here; but it might all be just a little loose to communicate fully. Perhaps some trimming and adding of links? But a very powerful mood piece.

Best,

Mike



Sam Rix at 23:31 on 31 August 2004  Report this post
Hi Gal,

A nicely written piece, like a leaf on the autumn breeze, sometimes erratic and biting.
The sense of frustration and desperation gusted into my mind, as the current of misunderstanding cut across with a chill.
It ends on a stark note, like the shock of cold raindrops landing on bare skin, desolation, unable to comprehend anything past the moment and the loss.

I enjoyed the reminder of losing a lover, it enhances the thoughts of the treasure in the lover I’m with now.

Cheers Gal, thanks for the lesson

Love and Luck
Sam



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