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Prince Freddie and the Wizards of Oz

by  LincolnGreen

Posted: Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Word Count: 541
Summary: A little sporting fairytale




Twas a quiet summer’s day in a quiet leafy town
When a cry from the butcher’s boy made people turn around
‘The wizards are coming – they’re at the eastern gate!
Hide yourselves away people, before it’s too late!’
The market square trembled, it shook with alarm
Panic, panic, panic, quickly gone was the calm
Doors that lived open, were quickly slammed tight
They all knew the wizards and their diet of fright

And then they arrived, caravans forming a queue
They alighted, delighted to see the town in a stew
Wicked Wicken Ponting their leader renown
Dressed in his finest, green and gold wizard gown
Said ‘shall we make the most of our wizardry habits?’
Let’s turn these townspeople into little bunny rabbits’
‘Yes’ cried the wizards, ‘let us mischief make’
‘Sorcery and wizardry and potions we’ll bake’

‘No!’ cried Warno, the wobbliest wizard in the group
‘Duck’s they’ll become, and we’ll have some duck soup’
‘Warno oh warno, only thinking of your dinner’
‘You’d be a better wizard if you’d grow a little thinner’
And Warno faced the leader, with rebellion in his eyes
Then stomped off into town on the hunt for pork pies.
Then hopalong Glenda, to the skipper he said,
‘Leave him be leader, he’ll be happier when he’s fed’

Off went the wizards blessed with only one notion
To search for ingredients for their special magic potion
Not ear of bat or toe of frog, they were for imposters
They followed an ancient recipe by old wizard Fosters.
Into barns and shops, they took whatever they found
And took them to the market square and laid them on the ground
The wizards searched each alley, each cranny, every nook
But butter fingered Keeper Gilly kept dropping what he took.

Dizzy Wizard Jason stayed back to make the brew
A bunny making recipe known only to a few
But what a bad choice, the brew spitting and hissing
To throw in ingredients, but Dizzy just kept missing
By the time the brew was ready, word had gotten out
And into town rode a knight, letting out a thunderous shout
‘Wizards of Oz hold still, you’ve made your last bad call
Prince Freddie’s here to cut you down, here to smite you all!’

And so in the market square, there came a new sound
The cries of the wizards, as Prince Freddie cut them down
With lance and faithful spear, then sword and stout shield
Prince Freddie spared the wizards, who promised to yield
Then from the bakers, there was a deafening roar
Warno was emerging, but was stuck in the door
He calmly took a magic pill, given by his mother
And in that timely instant, was as thin as any other

They walked to face each other, Sir Freddie standing tall
Warno poured out every insult that his mind could recall.
And he launched a magic spell, it spun towards the Knight,
And Freddie simply took his sword and smashed it out of sight.
And unbeknown to Warno, Freddie knew a special spell,
He raised his sword towards his foe, to send him back to hell.
Bright lights followed bangs, smoke followed flashes
And where there once was Warno, was left a pile of ashes.