Printed from WriteWords - http://www.writewords.org.uk/archive/11673.asp

Shitty Shitty Railways (satirical song)

by  baumski

Posted: Saturday, October 29, 2005
Word Count: 255
Summary: This song was performed over three consecutive runs at the News Revue in London. For those who don't know, News Revue is a leading satirical venue for those of us who need to get out more. This was my take on the appalling state of the railways.




SHITTY SHITTY RAILWAYS
(Adapted from the song ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’)

Shitty railways, shitty shitty railways
Shitty railways, shitty shitty railways
Shitty railways, shitty shitty railways

Oh you shitty shitty railways
Shitty shitty railways we hate you
And on shitty shitty railways, shitty shitty railways what we do
So far in the buffet car a fiver for a stale cheese roll
Rip off shitty shitty railways you really have no soul
Rip off shitty shitty railways you really have no soul

Shitty railways, shitty shitty railways
Shitty railways, shitty shitty railways
Shitty railways, shitty shitty railways

Oh you shitty shitty railways
Shitty shitty railways we hate you
And on shitty shitty railways, what we really need is a working loo
Not cheap, can’t get a seat, not enough standing room
Rip off shitty shitty railways it’s total doom and gloom
Rip off shitty shitty railways it’s total doom and gloom

Connex is the weakest link, Southwest really makes you think
Of safer ways of getting around
Disruption is a way of life, wheels coming off the track is rife
Enduring relentless delays


Oh shitty, you’re shitty, really really shitty
Shitty shitty railways we hate you
And looking iffy looking really shifty it’s so clear you have no clue
Skin scars in a railway car oh what a grizzly time we’ll find
Death trap shitty shitty railways dead bodies on the line
Death trap shitty shitty railways dead bodies on the line

Shitty shitty railways shitty shitty railways
Rip off death trap shitty shitty railways


END