(TONY)
“Ere, ‘ow ‘bout those two over there?
Mind! – don’t let ‘em see you stare!
I’ll take the one wiv the short dark ‘air …
but I don’t fancy yours!”

(SUE)
“Those two blokes are lookin at us”

(LINDA)
“Glad I’m in me dress that flatters!”

(SUE)
“Is that all that really matters?”

(LINDA)
“Well, it keeps ‘em keen!”

(DAVE)
“It’s funny, Tone mate,
you should say that,
‘cos I fink the dark one’s too fat –
I prefer girls on the thin side”

(TONY)
“What about what’s on the inside.
I like girls to have a brain …”

(DAVE)
“Oh, don’t let’s start that crap again!
When they’re undressed, they’re all the same”

(TONY)
“You treat all girls like whores!
Should we offer ‘em a drink,
or just a dance – waddya fink?”

(DAVE)
“Well, Tone, if you want to pull,
try a Vodka and Red Bull”

(LINDA)
“Here they come, let’s bat our eyes,
then knock their egos down to size”

(SUE)
“Oh, don’t be cruel, the tall one’s nice –
he’s got such lovely twinkling eyes”

(DAVE)
“Ello ladies, my mate Tony
saw you standin’ on yer own. He
thought that we should come and ask
if you two girls would care to dance?”

(SUE)
“Hello Tony, my name’s Sue,
and, yes, I’d love to dance with you”

(DAVE)
“Right, wiv those two off together,
I won’t take no ‘Why’ or ‘Whether’
let’s hit the floor and cut some feather –
Waddya say?”

(LINDA)
“…Whatever”