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Alice

by  Rosalind

Posted: Tuesday, April 22, 2003
Word Count: 932




I wake up in a cold sweat. I am shaking all over. My mouth is dry and I want a glass of water desperately. I move to get out of bed so I can go through to the kitchen and get my self a drink.

"Are you okay?" A voice

"No" I say. " I had that dream again

"Hush baby, its okay. I'm here with you"

I've been having the dream for as long as I can remember. I'm in the dark but I know that I have done something terrible. There is something in my hand. I drop it, and cross the room to turn on the light.

I look down at my hands and they are covered in blood. The object that I have put down is a knife and the body of a woman lies on the lino of the kitchen floor.

"oh my god" I scream "Alice". "Alice, what I have I done? "Alice forgive me".

The woman on the floor stares at me. I imagine that I can see the life draining out of her. I imagine that I am watching the last spark disappear from her eyes.

I pick the knife up of the floor and turn the blade towards myself.

At this point I always wake up. I know this dream is some sort of premonition and to be honest it has always scared the hell out of me.

Lying back down in bed again I take sips of the water that I have fetched from the kitchen.

My Girlfriend cuddles up against me and strokes my hair. "hmmm" I say "nice".

The alarm goes off. Its 8:00 and its time I got up. I head to the shower. I always have a shower in the mornings, that way I can wash my hair and shave. I get dressed for work, imagining what I will do in my lunch hour. I'm going to buy Becky a present.

Becky and I have been together for nearly a year. I love her with all my heart. maybe I'll buy her a teddy. She likes that sentimental stuff. Maybe I'll buy her some roses, she likes romantic stuff too. Or maybe I'll buy her some handcuffs, well she likes to be adventurous in the bedroom. I'm so lucky.

I sort of float through my working hours. I have a few meetings, but nothing that I really have to concentrate on. At lunch time I stop and pick up a huge pink rabbit for Becky. Then I stop by Thorntons and get her a box of continental chocolates.

I decide to leave work early. No one will notice if I slink off a little prematurly and head home to Becky.

I know something is wrong as I approach the flat. There is a strange car parked in the space that is reserved for my car. Becky doesn't have any friends round here that I know of, so who could the shiny black car belong to?

As I ponder this, the door to our flat opens and a man I have never seen before leaves. Becky is there, wearing nothing but my dressing gown. She gives the man a kiss on the cheek and because he thinks no one is around to see he puts his hand inside my dressing gown and squeezes her in places I thought that only I was allowed to squeeze. She laughs and pushes him away. She says something to him but I'm too far away to hear what it is.

Oh my god. Becky is cheating on me. My Becky, with someone else. My world spins. I can't be discovered here watching her. I drive my car round the block and wait until itís the time I would normally come home.

Back at the flat I confront Becky. She denies everything, but there is a sadness in her eyes that tells me the truth.

We argue. I pick up a knife from the kitchen worktop. Becky has been chopping onions for dinner. I wave the knife around. I don't even realise that I have it in my hand. I point it at her. she takes a step back and screams at me to put it down. I move forwards towards her. I don't even realise what I'm doing until itís to late.

Becky lunges at me at wrestles the knife out of my hand. I feel so mad at her. I hit her across her face. She looks so surprised. She hits back at me, I'm stunned. She still has the knife in her hand, and it has cut across my chest. She is pounding her hand against my chest, stabbing the knife in with every hit.

I fall, somehow I hit the light switch on my way down and the room is plunged into darkness. I hear the knife drop to the floor and Becky crosses the room to0 turn on the light.

My head is swimming now. I've lost so much blood.

Becky calls something out I strain to hear it. Itís my name she is calling.

"oh my god" screams Becky, "Alice". "Alice, what I have I done? "Alice forgive me".

As I fade away I can see her turn the knife towards herself. I try to tell her its okay. I was born to die this way. I've always known it, and I love Becky, I don't want her to die, but my mouth is dry and the words won't come out.

As I watch Becky plunge the knife into herself the world fades and everything turns into nothing.