The family were gathered
and his Will was being read,
when somebody enquired
“Is grandad really dead?”

He’d buggered off to Timbuktu
ten years ago today
and nobody has heard a word
since grandad went away.

But now, in legal chambers,
the question had been raised
was grandad dead or just re-wed?
The lawyer looked amazed.

“To distribute his worldly goods
I need to be assured
there’s not the least chance the
deceased has set up home abroad”

A distant member of the clan
piped up “I think he did -
he just sent me a birthday card
containing twenty quid”

He fished the card out from his coat
and, turning to the crowd,
this distant cousin cleared his throat
and read these words out loud:

It said “I’ve gone to Babylon
and wish I’d come here sooner”
(It seems he has a harem now
all twenty years his junior!)

“With all my wishes thus fulfilled
there’s nothing that I lack
so please enjoy the goods I willed
I’m never coming back!”