Let’s face it -
it’s pretty cool to be a man.
You can pee upright,
have a significantly larger
alcohol-to-body-mass ratio
and go grey, distinguishably.

Furthermore, you escape childbirth
the covert warfare with hair and
the relentless struggle with cellulite.
And, who wants to be a sodding hen
when you could be a stag?

But hey, here’s the thing
women get to wear makeup!
And no matter how scarey the mirrored face
you can polyfiller the cracks,
mascara to disguise the fact
that your eyes bear an uncanny resemblance
to pissholes in the snow,
And finally, the infallible trick -
a slick of lipstick (red is best).

Perhaps god wasn’t such a bitch afterall.