Jim Kinloch  

Jim Kinloch
Comedy Writer

[INSERT FUNNY STUFF] [INSERT WITTISISM] Find out about spelling.

I suppose I could put in here some of my past successes. OK something else. I know I could try some of my favourite words, or thoughts, or things I don’t like. How about some of those creative tips or sayings by famous authors who…


I will endeavor to persevere to give my customer the best service and be the number one writer of my generation (needS work)

Don’t forget to mention passion and LOVE, snow covered birch trees, a freshly washed baby, bacon on fresh bread, beads of beer on a tall glass, inner thigh, embraced by warm musk…A snowboarding chic chick in a Tequila soaked thong…Captain Nice Meets the Fin, comedy to make you laugh. Comedy is not a life style, comedy purpose, comedy is for laughs. What do you want? Why are you bothering with this when you can be having a laugh? Captain Nice Meets… RUN TAPE: The world is run by pyrates. That’s all you need to know as this script takes you to meet Characters with fire in their eyes, and wounds in their souls, they will not stop, they will express THEMSELVES, well when no one is looking, against ‘the coma world*’ [INSERT MORE STUFF]

Captain Nice, our hero, a man who wants the best, do the right thing, and get back to the glory of the high seas, his men? Granite, a large, hairy, and angry pyrate, and Woody, wooden hands, wooden legs, wooden nose, he loves fish (and I mean L.O.V.E.)

The Italian Job, with an Italian
Liked the Italian Job and want to live the film? Never met a hero? Well give this a go and learn about brothers, working to earn a living, and what you can do with an imagination and a desk? O’ did I mention it all takes place on stage, that men become Mini Coopers, A woman plays all the other characters and every last one of them is a villain. The brothers grew up apart after they were separated when they were five. Gabby and Angelo, what does that mean to you? PASSION & LOVE.

So you write comedy, like Ben Elton?

No not Ben Elton, never Ben Elton. If I was given a choice between a duck and Ben Elton. Eat Ben Elton and give the duck a laptop [INSERT GAG ABOUT LESS S**T ON THE KEYBOARD].

Don’t you like gay people Jim?

Of course, some of my best friends are clichés.

[INSERT WINNING SMILE] Less vomit, more words

I’ll have a drink and come back and finish this lat

Brought up by alcoholics – [TRUTH]
How do I explain the hair loss in an interesting way? [NOTE LOOK UP ‘BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE QUOTES’]
Writes Sit Coms, theatre, all sorts of funny. A comedy writer for hire.
Trained in Physical Theatre – [WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?]

Aim to build up to an interesting bit here. Build up some anticipat………………………………………………ion

Mail me if interested. It’s my work, so no one else has to have a head like this. [INSERT CRASS COMMENT ABOUT MY PHOTO]


*’I don’t know what’s going wrong in this country. There is total apathy. And it appears to be fashionable. Life is humdrum, dull, tedious. And tomorrow is going to be exactly the same. Man, you’re in a coma.’
John Lydon