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A New World

by Helenlouisa 

Posted: 25 July 2003
Word Count: 266
Summary: Death and realisation

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I stood at the window, looking out at the world before me. Looking at the same people watching to work, the same mothers taking their children to school, everything the same. But for me it was all different, my life would never be the same and I began to wonder if they knew. I began to think what if they were feeling the same, what if they could look in my eyes and see my pain, see the reflection of their own hurt in my eyes. It was calming to think that someone out there felt like me.

I turned from the window and took a deep breath, today was the day that made the fear in me rise. I looked over to the bed and saw the clothes laying like death before me, I wanted to jump into their blackness and let it engulf me, to eat me, to take all my fears and feelings.

The water was cold, like ice, it froze my body and took my breath away, I prayed for it never to return it. The water warmed and with it the hope of my heart warming was swept away in the current of loneliness. I knew when I stood at that window, when I looked into the blackness of those clothes and as I stood in the shower, naked and vunerable that I was in a new world now, a world where I may never be happy again, a world that was dark, cold and lonely. A world where I would always be searching for even a glimmer of sun light.

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Comments by other Members

Shadowgirl at 12:29 on 25 July 2003  Report this post
Hello Helen and welcome!

Goodness, you have captured the mood so well. I read it with the heavy heart that the narrator seemed to be feeling too. So very sad.

Is this a part of a longer piece or does it stand alone? I would like to read more of your work.

Is there a typo in the first line - watching - did you mean walking?

Well done!

Best wishes

Ellenna at 21:24 on 25 July 2003  Report this post
Hello Helen,

I do hope you don't feel like this.. I felt rather helpless reading it as it spirals down to an awful feeling of utter hopelessness. I too wonder if it is part of a longer piece and my feeling is of wanting to come up for air and light. you certainly have stepped inside this state of mind extremely well


stephanieE at 16:28 on 27 July 2003  Report this post
Hello Helen, welcome to the site. This is a dark piece to introduce yourself - it seems redolent with emotion, yet, as a reader, I wasn't quite sure what had happened. (I may be a particularly thick reader, it has to be said, I'm not particularly swift at picking up subtleties). Please do post more of your work - maybe something with 'a glimmer of sunlight'?

Richard Brown at 20:45 on 28 July 2003  Report this post
My sense was that it's a powerful piece about a recent, almost unbearable loss. It feels as though the instant, numbing shock of bereavement is giving way to disbelief. The black clothes could, I suppose, be funeral ones, Like Ellena, I hope that you are not actually in this state now - the pain is palpable but I hope it's a memory which has eased rather the something immediate. I was struck by the idea that the freezing water somehow became warmer yet it could not influence the temperature of the heart. The melted ice becomes a current of loneliness, not of comfort. Bleak indeed. There is hope, though, in the 'may' never be happy again - a hint of a possibility at least. Whatever the reality now, I hope you will share some more of this memoir with us. You write that it was 'calming to think that someone out there felt like me'. I'm sure your piece will have helped others to realise that they are not entirely alone.Thank you.

old friend at 19:36 on 15 September 2003  Report this post
Hello Helen,

A neat little piece that demonstrates your ability to express emotion. A little depressing for me. Why not tackle something very different and write it in a narrative form.

I think something quite exciting would emerge.

How were you proposing to use this?..the first part of a short story?.. the beginning of a novel?.. I ask that question for your work does make the reader 'wan't more', and THAT is always a great achievement.

old friend, Len

Zigeroon at 14:02 on 05 April 2005  Report this post
Great piece of writing describing that often held thought of 'I'm in here hurting and out there they are living their lives and have no idea about me.' And from inside we have no idea about them.

Made me think!


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