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Evening on Clapham Pond

by maumac 

Posted: 25 July 2003
Word Count: 60

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Evening on Clapham Pond

The surface on the pond
was like petrol-blue coloured crocodile skin,
where the wind blew it into large
rhythmic moving scales
undulating like a sonorous serpent
and my eyes got lost in it
as though riveted by a basilisk stare
and I was drawn to be a part of it
to merge with the creature water.

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Comments by other Members

poemsgalore at 12:39 on 27 July 2003  Report this post
I like this, a lot, especially the line "and my eyes got lost in it", and the last line "to merge with the creature water." is exceptional. Very powerful.

old friend at 09:50 on 22 September 2003  Report this post
Hi Maureen,

It would be interesting to see some of your other work. I know nothing about poetry so - 'no comment'.

paul53 [for I am he] at 16:19 on 03 March 2005  Report this post
Found this late as it is on Random Read.
Though I like it very much, I would remove "coloured" from line 2 as we know petrol-blue describes the colour of it; plus "my eyes were lost in it" sounds better.

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