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Shattered dreams fighting back – Synopsis

by Meena 

Posted: 07 August 2003
Word Count: 867
Summary: I have been asked to send a synopsis and chapters from this story. I have done the synopsis as below. I would appreciate any feedback on this. I have not finished this story but I hope to very soon.


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Shattered dreams fighting back

Synopsis


Summary: It’s a story about a young Indian girl who is invited to her friends wedding in England where she meets a young Indian man and falls in love. They marry only to find he did it for his own goals and the girl is abandoned. It is about how she fights back and fulfils her dreams.

Indian women carry a heavy burden on their shoulders. It is said that culture, tradition, religion and family units as institutions are upheld and maintained by women who pass down understanding and knowledge of these things through generations.

Is this true today?

This story is about two friends who grow up together in India and face life together. Seema is a daughter of a rich Gujarati businessman and best friend of Twinkle who comes from a middle class family. Seema moves to UK after secondary school and Twinkle remains in India.

Both girls are intelligent with families who provide freedom of thought and decision-making. Both girls get good degrees in their respective fields of interest. When it is time for Seema to marry, Twinkle is still thinking about studies, doing an MBA if she can get a scholarship from the Government of Gujarat to pursue an MBA in UK or USA.

Seema visits Twinkle in India before her marriage and brings Twinkle to UK for her wedding with the hope that Twinkle could fulfil her dreams of studying for an MBA. If necessary Seema’s family would help pay Twinkle’s fees, which she could return at a later date. Seema and Twinkle where thinking of looking at universities after Seema’s wedding with London being at the top of the list. Before Twinkle could apply for a course she meets Nikesh, Seema’s Cousin brother and falls in love. Destiny as they say changes Twinkle’s life in that everyone in Seema’s family thinks Nikesh has fallen for Twinkle also and so a marriage is arranged.

Nikesh and Twinkle get married on the same day, in the same hall at the same time as Seema, since the families involved arrange for two weddings simultaneously. However, Nikesh turns out to be a turd. He married Twinkle for his own selfish reasons and he abandons Twinkle. Twinkle’s dreams come shattering down.

Meanwhile, Seema starts her married life happily. Seema lives with her in-laws as per Indian customs and seems very contended. She has a wonderful, understanding and professional husband earning good money. She herself is settled in running her boutique ‘Saffron’.

However, Twinkle struggles to get herself on to an MBA course. Without money life is difficult. Seema’s family had offered to pay but she had declined since they had paid for her wedding and it would not be fair to ask them to pay again. She was indebted to them already. During this phase Seema is the strong one that helps Twinkle and supports her to get her MBA. Seema helps to bring Twinkle’s shattered dreams alive again.

Soon after Twinkle’s triumph, Seema is in a crisis and this time Twinkle is the strong one. Through Twinkle’s hardship and struggles she had become street and life wise. Seema's crisis it that - she gets pregnant and their family doctor does a scan which shows she is expecting a health baby girl. Her in-laws do not want their first grandchild to be a girl, an old age prejudice and tells Seema to get an abortion. Seema is against this, which creates a conflict of opinions with her husband and in-laws forcing her to leave her in-laws house, and she goes to live with her parents. At her parents she faces the 'quiet, nudge-nudge, ignore treatment from her brothers and his wives behind their parents back' which upsets Seema ultimately she leaves her parents home too to go to Twinkle who helps her sort her life out. Twinkle stands by and supports Seema to get through her crisis. Seema gives birth to her daughter. The birth is seen by Twinkle as an opportunity to start a dialogue between Seema’s husband and in-laws who ultimately see their mistake and take Seema back home. In the meantime Twinkle meets a young widower whose wife had died of cancer. At first Twinkle’s parents are not happy that she should marry a widow. People would talk that she could not find anyone decent because she was abandoned, but Twinkle changes the way Indian society looks at little prejudices and she eventually marries the widower and starts her own life.

This story tells of modern Asian women who while respecting the Indian way of life are also in subtle ways beginning to break down barriers, obstacles and prejudices to bring forth the new Indian woman who is more determined, ready to fight for her rights and be economically independent. This story is about culture, values, traditions, love and the role of Indian man and woman within it.

Seema and Twinkle represent the Indian woman of today. Through their ability to face life they have shown a way to a better tomorrow. Through their story I want to pass a message that even though Indian women have suffered injustice and inequality in the past the future is hopeful.












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Comments by other Members



Becca at 07:39 on 08 August 2003  Report this post
Meena, that's terribly funny and really unexpected, ...'Nikesh turns out to be a turd.'I laughed.
I think 'This story tells of modern Asian women ..' is a good para, but suspect that there is too much detail in the piece. I'm not sure that you have to declare your reason for having written it necessarily. I know there will be writers on this site who can help get it sorted. Congrats for finding the agent!

Nell at 07:59 on 08 August 2003  Report this post
Meena, I laughed too at this sentence, and that's good. You want to make the agent sit up and take notice. Follow their guidelines for the length of the synopsis - some agents/publishers ask for one page only, others want more. You should find details in The Writers' Handbook.

I think you could make more of the fact that Nikesh abandons Twinkle on their wedding day, it's not immediately obvious here. If you need to make this longer, or if you'd just like some info. I can email you a good guide to writing a step-by-step synopsis - just WW mail me and ask.

Best, Nell, and good luck!

Mika Smith at 08:04 on 08 August 2003  Report this post
Dear Meena

This is a great idea. For a synopsis it is lively and interesting. I like the name Twinkle. Without knowing anything else about her she is already a great character. The structure of the synopsis seems top heavy although I'm keen to stress I'm no expert. You say a lot about the beginning but how does it end? What crisis does Seema face? I think you should write that in too but try to give each section of the book equal, but economical attention so your lively pace is maintained.

Nell gave me a synopsis writing guide. If you're interested I could forward it to you.



<Added>

Nell - we crossed over in the post!

Ralph at 09:22 on 08 August 2003  Report this post
Meena
Congratulations! Glad to hear you're close to completing this and already moving it forwards, that's fantastic!
Sorry, I'm by no means an expert on synopsies either
:( However, there were a couple of points that stood out while I was reading this that have made me think back...
Having only read flashes of this, I haven't been able to follow everything that you're characters reveal etc. but I was wondering if, based on the outline above, any of the following things happen....
1) Seema spent part her formative years in India with Twinkle, and part in England. When they meet up again has Seema changed? Are there differences between them in terms of education, cultural attitudes, language, self-awareness... If Seema hasn't been changed by her experience of living abroad, why is that?
2)When Twinkle moves to England does it meet/better/disappoint her expectations? How is it different? Is the Indian community in which she participates the same as the community she was a part of in India?
I ask these questions because, as you've probably guessed, I'm a bit of an ignoramous and these are some of the things I'd like to learn about... and that brings me to the next point, which is the at least double appeal of your writing. I know you've said that you would like women who have had similar experiences to Twinkle's to connect with this, and to be encouraged by it (in which case, they could associate with Twinkle's sense of what it is like to move to a foreign country like this). But this, I think, would also appeal strongly to people who have been raised in different cultures, who don't necessarily share these kinds of experience but who could learn about it through your writing (ie me!). I think it's probably worth highlighting how broadly this work could really appeal to an agent, so it might be worth pointing it out in your synopsies.
Of course, this might just be me babbling away like a lunatic again (sorry!)
I think there's a huge potential here, and I wish you the very very best with it.
Huggs
Ralph

Meena at 10:33 on 08 August 2003  Report this post
Hi Becca, Nell, Mike Smith and Ralph

Thanks for your input. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I get this through succesfully to the agents. As I said I am still writing this story. Currently I am on vacation as I work term time only but I will be getting back to work from 26th August so this may slow down my pace of writing. But please stay with this story till I finish as I value all the comments I am getting from you all. It's great to be e-mail friends like this.

stephanieE at 10:53 on 08 August 2003  Report this post
Meena
Many of the comments that I was going to make have been made by someone else already (don't you just hate it when that happens?).

So, I would just add, follow whatever advice the publishers / agents give you about a synopsis - many of them have very specific preferences about what they want. Stick to the story in your synopsis - it should be a straighforward explanation of the book - and put the 'why I wanted to write it' in your covering letter.

I too wondered what Seema's crisis mught be, and I think you need to explain that in the synopsis.

And good luck!

Meena at 12:06 on 08 August 2003  Report this post
Hi all,

Seema's crisis it that - she gets pregnant and their family doctor does a scan which shows she is expecting a health baby girl. Her in-laws do not want their first grandchild to be a girl, an old age prejudice and tells Seema to get an abortion. Seema is against this which creates a conflict of opinions with her husband and in-laws forcing her to leave her in-laws house and she goes to live with her parents. At her parents she faces the 'quiet, ignore treatment from her brothers and his wives behind their parents back' which upsets Seema ultimately she leaves her parents home too to go to Twunkle who helps her sort her life out.

Hope this clears the point about Seema's crisis. Comments welcomed.

Prerna at 14:24 on 08 August 2003  Report this post
Hi Faiba

Wow - have you really got an agent who's going to get your story published? That's amazing - That would be great - u deserve it because this story is coming along really well - it's twisting and turning in unexpected ways - which makes it innovative and exciting - especially the part about Seema's crisis. Maybe also seeing as Seema's husband appears so perfect at first to the reader - he too could be pressuring her to have an abortion which makes the reader realize that all is not as rose red as it first seemed with Sam - but I guess you had that idea already in mind! Good luck! Keep going!


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