Olives fall softly on sunflower mouths

by  Jibunnessa  ( 1352 )

Posted: 22 March 2003
Word Count: 154
Summary: I wrote this about 8 years ago. I am now a different person. So, am not entirely sure how I feel about it. Would be interested to see how YOU feel about it.


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Olives fall softly on sunflower mouths
Brimming fields of golden ecstasy.

Sudden white flutter
through fields of shimmering mustard.

The smooth milk
secreted from a velvet nipple
gently floating down
chocolate vanilla faces.

Fragments of creamy canvas
scattered across the underbelly of preconception,
the smiling feet of innocence.

Lush,
fresh,
fragrant
honeysuckle fingers caressing your inner vision,
the inner breath
of humanity.

Red corridors of consciousness,
the elusive labyrinth of gardenia petals.

Tears
seeping through the cracks in the microkernel
that lights
the meandering surface of dark continuum,
the ebbing embers
of pale recollection.

The light,
the moon,
the tendrils,
the velvet-soaked milk
evaporating through honeycomb shells.

The palms,
the Krishnachuras,
the petals that wept bloody tears
cloaking the passions of civilization.

The eyes
that shone laughter
through cynical stagnation,
they fell
and bled
and died,
while giant, white magnolia blossoms
stretched their mighty limbs
and embraced the formidable sky.

She, who leapt across celandine meadows
He, the brimming face of golden ecstasy.


---Jib, 15 Nov 95




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Comments by other Members


Posted by :  Anna Reynolds at 12:39 on 27 March 2003
I really like the rich, lush descriptive language in this-- it's very sensory and atmospheric. Like a painting.
Posted by :  Jibunnessa at 18:26 on 04 April 2003
It's interesting that you compare it to a painting. Textures of colour was a deliberate central theme in this piece. I'm glad you like it.

I did read it at the Riverside Studios one summer evening, and got no reaction. Suppose it was very different in style from all the other work there. That may be a reason.

Anyway, thanks again.
Posted by :  Fearless at 20:42 on 09 August 2004
Jib

Not sure if you still check your comments, but I have to say...this is extra sensory perception as poetry. The lyric flows steadily, gently, like honey off golden thighs.

Nice work. Write on,

Fearless
Posted by :  PantsonFire at 20:37 on 31 May 2006
this is really good


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