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As time went by

by joanie 

Posted: 21 February 2006
Word Count: 58
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Prompted by eanna's comment:

Version 2 (Thanks, eanna!)
from a million memories
in a room full of dreams
while time flew unnoticed
life passed us by

original version
A moment
plucked
from a million memories

Experience
shared
in a room full of dreams

Feelings
stolen
while time flew unnoticed

We fell
in love

but life passed us by









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Comments by other Members



Elsie at 22:00 on 21 February 2006  Report this post
Unrequited love?
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Jekyll&Hyde at 08:01 on 22 February 2006  Report this post
Hi Joanie,

This is beatiful. Each stanza is as rich as the last, and I went back and read it a second time.

S.M.
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joanie at 08:52 on 22 February 2006  Report this post
Thanks for reading, Elsie and J & H. Elsie, not unrequited; unrealised, I think!

Glad you enjoyed, Steven.

joanie
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Nik Perring at 12:22 on 22 February 2006  Report this post
Lovely, Joanie.

Nik.
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joanie at 12:38 on 22 February 2006  Report this post
Thanks, Nik!

joanie
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Iain MacLeod at 12:49 on 22 February 2006  Report this post
I can't offer anything else other than to say that this made me cry.

Great stuff.
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joanie at 13:36 on 22 February 2006  Report this post
That's lovely, Iain. Thank you.

joanie
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tinyclanger at 13:59 on 22 February 2006  Report this post
I enjoyed the poise of this, Joanie. And I like the layered meaning of 'life passed us by'
x
tc
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joanie at 14:43 on 22 February 2006  Report this post
Hi tc. Thanks for reading! Hope you are well.

joanie
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Beanie Baby at 10:00 on 23 February 2006  Report this post
Very moving little piece and full of emotion. I love it.
Beanie
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joanie at 10:44 on 23 February 2006  Report this post
Many thanks, Beanie.

josnie

<Added>

Oops! joanie
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Account Closed at 18:12 on 24 February 2006  Report this post
Lovely. Very stark. I'd drop that last full stop though and let the whole thing hang in air - it's strong enough to do it!

:))

A
xxx
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joanie at 15:07 on 25 February 2006  Report this post
Thanks, HollyB. It's already removed - you're right!

joanie
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eanna at 11:51 on 28 February 2006  Report this post
Hi Joanie,

Did you know that the last line of each verse is a poem in itself?

Simple and pretty.
É
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joanie at 12:05 on 28 February 2006  Report this post
Thank you, eanna! I've put another version up already, following your comment; I think it looks good.

Thanks.

joanie
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