Login   Sign Up 


Stu and Matty

by lang-lad 

Posted: 28 April 2006
Word Count: 146
Summary: splenetic response to a recent injustice

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

Content Warning
This piece and/or subsequent comments may contain strong language.

It's easier far for the bloke that comes after
to spot
point a finger at one wonky brick
than to build than to labour and lay
one by one
bit by bit
line on line
day on day a whole fucken wall!

Big Stu was a brickie a keen eye and true
Wee Matt
was a wanker, according to Stu
and Matt knew, oh knew, what to say
to make Stu
loss his cool
loss the heid
do his radge every fucken time!

If Matt, see, had went in the Sistine Chapel
like before all the painting was dry
he'd of said, he'd have piped up "Aye, Mikey
no bad, pal
but see that
wee angel ..."

and if you want my opinion Michelangelo would have been quite entitled to lamp the wee bastard just like Stu did to Matty the day he got fired.

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

strangefish at 10:00 on 28 April 2006  Report this post
Ah love it, made me laugh out loud this morning.

lang-lad at 10:17 on 28 April 2006  Report this post
That was quick! Thanks. Came back to edit in missing inverted commas and here was a response.
This was the piece that started out as a short story - and didn't work. Funny how things turn out.

Heckyspice at 10:36 on 28 April 2006  Report this post

I could write something similar about the jobsworth car park attendants at the NEC. There are Mattys in every walk of life.

Nell at 14:54 on 28 April 2006  Report this post
Hi Eliza,

Brilliant - all the ingredients for a great performance piece too. I'd love to watch/hear it done well - can hear and almost see it now. You could do it...



Maybe a break to give you a hanging pause after ...wee angel...

joanie at 18:34 on 29 April 2006  Report this post
Eliza, this is brilliant! Yes, I'm sure this works much better as a poem; I always say that you can get away with saying so much more if it's in a poem!

Enjoyed it.


Xenny at 21:53 on 17 May 2006  Report this post
Oh it's great! It made me grin. Especially the third section, as I had an idea what sort of thing might be coming.



lang-lad at 22:01 on 17 May 2006  Report this post
Mercy beaucoo, which means my goodness what a beutiful farm animal!

Thanks, Xenny. Just a daft thing but lets off a bit of steam in times of stress.

DJC at 06:53 on 18 May 2006  Report this post
A fun little story, Eliza - liked it very much. I love the Scot's dialect.


lang-lad at 09:06 on 18 May 2006  Report this post
Tis mine own when I'm at home with a twist of gruff bloke in it for the flavour.

Plagious at 19:55 on 24 May 2006  Report this post
Hi Eliza

Meant to comment on this earlier. Superb observation on life (however fictitious!). You have a keen eye for detail and a gentle ribbing of characters that are both absurd and astute. However daft the idea, to seamlessly move from brickies to Michaelangel - very deft!

I am sure your tongue was in your cheek, but it works wonderfully! Plagious

lang-lad at 09:23 on 25 May 2006  Report this post
Thank-you for taking the trouble to say so, M. ou Mme.P.

You know how things tap you on the shoulder and months later you find out why? The Sistine chapel line was where the whole thing started ...

thanks again.

To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .