Login   Sign Up 



 

Kate

by Swoo 

Posted: 17 May 2006
Word Count: 235


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced



I am giving you something common, unrare:
words, someone else’s, and music.
What will come, in time, is a gift. It’s yours.

Think
of his voice, surprised by this extraordinary thing:
his child’s child, knowing this part of him, printed,
delivered to you by men in nylon shirts with quiet wives
or wives who drink and shout at buses
or men with no wives at all.

Our grandfather.
His tired hands stretching for something:
his hair, or tea, or the ink infront of him.
Perhaps he turns in his chair and wonders.

Kate, you have a scar on your knee;
sudden, broken glass. In bliss I make you tell it
a hundred times,
a hundred times it’s in me:
glass, survival. You first.

Let’s go up the fields. I have a den and I have waited
long terms for you. I am trying to dig a tunnel
from here to my school, for the purposes of bombing.
I stole a pram to put the earth in,
sweated each brave shovel, waiting for you.
The barn smells old. Horses have been here.
We’ll carve our names into woodworm. Kate,

tell me why sky floats and water will not;
write me letters with curls and swerves which swoon off the page
into fuschias and eyebrows and minims. Sneak me
into a bedroom and hold my hand. The night and the dark
are ours for adventure,
Kate, adventure.






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



joanie at 06:22 on 18 May 2006  Report this post
Hi Swoo. I loved reading this and imagining all your memories and escapades. Thank you for the explanation; I appreciated it but now I have read, I wonder if it might have been good to keep us guessing and wondering for a while!

I like the single words or phrases at the start of two stanzas. Normally I wouldn't like 'Dear Kate' but I think it works very well here, especially separated.

write me letters with curls and swerves which swoon off the page
into fuschias and eyebrows and minims
is delicious.

I'm sure Kate will love it; let us know!

joanie





Brian Aird at 08:00 on 18 May 2006  Report this post
I agree with Joanie; no explanation needed and 'write me letters with curls and swerves which swoon off the page into fuschias and eyebrows and minims' just makes me jealous I didn't think of it...well, when I'm in that kind of mood of course...


Brian


Swoo at 11:33 on 18 May 2006  Report this post
OK, explanation deleted! Thank you Joanie and Brian for your comments. Personally I think it's a load of sentimental tosh, but having been a bit barren in the 'deep and meaningful' department recently I thought I'd at least show willing. Thanks.

tinyclanger at 09:00 on 19 May 2006  Report this post
Swoo, I absolutely love this, brimming with tenderness and superb lines. I too love the 'curls and swerves', also love the 'tunnel' lines, and the men in nylon shirts.
Fabulous! I'm intrigued as to the full explanation...but agree the enigmatic-ness (is that a word?) is just another of it's qualities
x
tc


NinaLara at 09:52 on 20 May 2006  Report this post
Dear Swoo -

This will take a little time to think about, so I'll come back to you! It is a bit of a puzzle without the explaination - but that is no bad thing. I love the sounds and the images, especially 'tell my sky floats and water will not'.

James Graham at 15:21 on 20 May 2006  Report this post
It's maybe a touch sentimental, but other qualities of the poem outweigh that. This is full of invention and good lines. You have a sure judgement in how to handle the free verse line.

To some extent, on reading it for the first time, I felt I was being cast in the role of detective, having to scan the poem with my big magnifying glass, pick up the clues and piece them together. But that's only to begin with; with every reading the picture becomes clearer. There's a fictional element - I mean, behind the poem there seems to be a story of two people, the speaker and Kate, and of their relationship. Just as when we read a short story, we want to be clear as to who the people are - not every last detail, just enough to make the story work for us.

You must put me right if any of the following is bad detective work. The speaker and Kate are cousins who may not have had much contact with each other in childhood, perhaps not very much until recently. Their grandfather was a musician, a composer, and the speaker is giving Kate a setting, or book of settings, composed by him. Kate too has a musical gift, and will be able to play or sing this music. The poem is the speaker's message to Kate, accompanying the gift; the speaker partly pays tribute to their grandfather, but mainly reaches out to Kate, expressing through such things as the broken glass, the den and the tunnel, a wish to share and to bring the two of them closer together.

If my Sherlock Holmes act is pathetic, please put me right. As I say, it's the short story element that makes it important to get a picture of the circumstances round which the poem is built.

Every section of the poem has its centre of interest, and I hesitate to single one out. But for me the 'broken glass' lines are brilliant - the concision of 'sudden, broken glass'; the effect of 'In bliss' which half-rhymes with 'glass' yet is paradoxical beside it, and the subtlety and suggestiveness of 'In bliss' in this context; the single repetition of 'a hundred times'; and the line 'glass, survival. You first' which I'm sure any reader could appreciate as an example of a few words doing at least the work of a paragraph. All these things combine to make these lines a very neat piece of free verse.

The tunnel fantasy is very vivid. The dastardly plot to bomb the school is so detailed I wonder if it's based on fact! Not that it was actually carried out, but at least seriously thought out (in the way children seriously think things out) and even carried out to the extent of stealing the pram and doing a bit of digging. Am I right, or is it pure invention? That's not what these lines in the poem are really about, though. They say to Kate: my den is, or was, my childhood territory - a place that belonged to no-one else. I want you to share it with me - that is, I want to share with you things symbolised by the den, things I don't share with anyone else.

One more thing. Tell me if I'm right in imagining that the 'letters with curls and swerves' forming 'fuschias and eyebrows and minims' are meant to suggest music - i.e. all the words, not only the minims? To me the curls and swerves suggest musical notes, and so do fuschias (picturing fuschia flowers hanging from their stem); and eyebrows could be slurs or pause marks. Did you think of these lines in that way? Even if you weren't consciously trying for this effect, I think it's there anyway. These connotations frame the poem by bringing music in at the beginning and end.

I'm a little unsure of the justification for the 'delivery men' lines - why reflect so much on them and their wives? There may be a justification for these lines that I don't see. But apart from being slightly mystified on that one point, I like this poem - and hope my reading of it isn't too far out.

James.

Swoo at 09:41 on 21 May 2006  Report this post
James, thank you. I've emailed you with a fairly lengthy explanation, but needless to say, your detective work here is just about spot on! briefly - yes, the bombing plot was real. I managed to dig about three feet down and ran into logistical difficulties :-) The musical references are there, as Kate is a gifted musician (better than me) - the curls and swerves actually refer to her handwriting, which is beautiful, and the detailed drawings which would accompany her letters. Eyebrows - a joke between us, refer to raising eyebrows at at any hint of sauciness involving boys. The gift that Kate is being sent is actually a book written my our grandfather, which I recently discovered on Amazon. He was an academic, not a musician, but music is a large part in all of our lives.
brilliant detective work!
thanks


NinaLara at 13:23 on 21 May 2006  Report this post
The little bit of information about you grandfather's book made all the difference to me. The rest of the poem fell into place.

Thias piece tells the 'common' but complex story of changing relationships, the past in the present and the things that hold us together. Music, memory and you Grandfather are the links here and by sending the book you are invoking this three things. The only part I am not sure about is the second verse ... I'm not sure of the relevance of the wives(?. My favourite like is still the sky floats ....

James Graham at 21:14 on 21 May 2006  Report this post
That's good - the detective work was reasonably accurate. But maybe the poem had something to do with that. Though it's a 'personal' poem, it communicates well. It works.

When you write a poem drawn from personal circumstances, especially perhaps if it's about your family, there can easily be problems of communication. Particular lines can have meanings for you that they couldn't possibly have for the total strangers who will read the poem should it be published.

The worst case would be if nobody who ever read the poem had a clue what you were on about. But I doubt that happens very often - especially if the poem is published, since that means at least an editor has got something out of it, and thinks his/her readers might too. There's another possibility: the line has a personal meaning for you, which readers probably won't catch on to; but at the same time another meaning can be found in it - one that the poet may not even have thought of, but which readers will find. You could say that a line of poetry, or a poem section or whole poem, can have a private and a public meaning at the same time.

The eyebrow-raising joke doesn't come across, but that doesn't matter. That's the private meaning. For me the other meaning, to do with music, is what emerges from the handwriting lines. I imagine other readers would see this too. There might be still other associations that other readers might make. The point is that these lines are open in their meaning; a reader can bring something to them. I think in fact that this can be pretty much extended to the whole poem - the poem, by and large, is 'open' in this way.

(Possibly the musical content of the last section could be strengthened, by working in some other reference to Kate's musical gift, or by using a musical metaphor to describe her or to express the 'harmony' between her and the poem's speaker.)

Like Nina I'm still not sure about the postmen and their wives. I feel this may be an example of how something with a private or family meaning doesn't quite produce 'another meaning', i.e. a satisfactory meaning for the reader. It reads like a whimsical digression, even a non-sequitur; the reader can't see how these speculations about the postmen tie in to the context of the poem. These are the only lines in which it seems to me the meaning is more or less 'closed'. (Even so, I'm only one reader, and others might get more out of these lines than I do.)

I imagine most readers would understand from the poem that your grandfather was a musician. What is happening in the process of poetic communication is that your real grandfather is being somewhat fictionalised. This too is a sort of example of the private-public thing: you know your grandfather was actually an academic, not a musician, but the poem turns him into a musician. Novelists do this consciously all the time - use a family member or friend or acquaintance as the basis of a character, but change their occupation or some other facts about them. It seems to have come about more by accident in this poem. With this minor change, he becomes not quite your grandfather, more 'the poem's speaker's grandfather'.

Another angle to this is that a poem can perfectly well be simply a poem for one's family, or one's friends, or even just for oneself. No law lays down that every poem written must be published. If it's for a small circle who will share the references, pick up all the clues, that's fine. A poem could be given as a birthday present...though maybe a box of chocolates as well would be more appreciated! It's only if you want your poem to leave the nest, go out into the world and on to the shelves in Waterstones, that you have to think about private and public meanings.

Now, after all that, there's something relatively simple and straightforward to be said. I think that (aside from the slight reservation I have about the postmen) 'Kate' is a poem that emerges from its personal sources and becomes something that can be understood and enjoyed by strangers.

James.


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .