Login   Sign Up 



 
Archive » hailfabio » Work
Archive »  Poetry » Love » Work

My Bloody Valentine

by hailfabio 

Posted: 23 May 2006
Word Count: 45
Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


She touched my space.
Everytime everytime.
Left the leaves lying,
that she'd blown off.
Everywhere everywhere.
Innocently scared soul,
scrambled in essence,
by ghostly fragrance.
Evermore evermore.
Burning scalded skin,
sizzles with desire,
frozen without direction,
a will in tatters, it hides.
Evenmore, even more.






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



Mr B. at 20:32 on 29 May 2006  Report this post
A powerful piece.

On the last line, did you intend the first evenmore to be joined?

Why have you chosen the title My bloody valentine?

I loved the way alliteration gives a 's' sound throughout the whole poem - was this deliberate?

Nice one!

A
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

hailfabio at 09:55 on 30 May 2006  Report this post
Thanks.

Yes the evenmore is deliberate.

The 'S' feeling wasn't though, it just came out in writing.

My Bloody Valentine - it's about a valentine that emotionally beats you up.

Stephen
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .

 






Other work by hailfabio:      ...view all work by hailfabio