Login   Sign Up 



 

THE PITCH (sketch)

by baumski 

Posted: 20 June 2006
Word Count: 270


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced



AN OFFICE. THERE IS A MAN AND A WOMAN. SHE IS A SMART EXECUTIVE. HE IS A POLICE INSPECTOR – A PLAIN SPEAKING YORKSHIREMAN. IN THE ROOM THERE IS A FLIP CHART WITH THE NAME OF THE COMPANY, ‘GLORA STITS MARKETING’, WRITTEN ON IT.

WOMAN
Well Chief Inspector, the brief was a to create a theme park for rundown members of the police force. A place where they could go whenever they needed their batteries recharging. A health check if you like.

INSPECTOR
Aye, that’s right because let’s face it, when they’re not responding properly then the whole bloody system is liable to freeze and shut down. We want them to do one thing but they don’t understand the commands. Statement’s full of spelling mistakes and memories not working properly in court. When they get overworked their concentration goes and they end up crashing their police cars. Do you know, there’s even some pc’s who can’t even tie their own boots without calling for assistance!

WOMAN
And so, with that in mind….

SHE GOES TO THE FLIP CHART AND TURNS OVER A PAGE. WRITTEN ON THE NEW SHEET ARE SEVERAL BULLET POINTS AND SHE POINTS TO EACH ONE AS SHE IS TALKING.

WOMAN
You wanted us to come up with a way to stop them from freezing, crashing, losing memory and be able to reboot on their own. And that’s why we’ve come up with….

SHE TURNS ANOTHER PAGE. ON IT IS AN IMPRESSIVE DIAGRAM OF A THEME PARK. THE INSPECTOR TAKES A MOMENT LOOKING AT IT.

INSPECTOR
That’s looks grand. What do you call it?

WOMAN
PC World.


(END)






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



Philip Marston at 15:27 on 20 June 2006  Report this post
Wow, that's seriously creative and just a bit good.

It comes across very visually.

thanks.

Phil.

syorkslad26 at 10:22 on 21 June 2006  Report this post
Hi Baumski,

I admit this one did make me groan a little, not to say that it's not funny because it is (extremely funny in fact - I'm awaiting my bribe by the way!). The name of the company made me howl. Ingenious (But should it have been GLORIA STITS or am I looking in to it too much!). What can I say? You've done it again.

26 (Beedoop-beedoop, Beedoop-beedoop!)


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .