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War

by Josh 

Posted: 01 September 2003
Word Count: 429
Summary: I don't want to kill someone I don't know.


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Time dates places faces rhymed and mimmed by actors in the game of life I play I say the lines remind me of my barking days obey the script culprits perish we cherish an order told by a looping recorder stooping mix mortar for a war we need one have some fun with the money we make the culture we take the country we rape in the name game lame game shame game time for some blame off the train of safety place me on the front lines I'm such a believer a real alpha reciever the threat you bet I'll buy the lie before I investigate can't wait when I was young dying for a reason so treason to the greater group is okay if it's for the greater good I should I would I did but now don't be so fast to drag me down to last - place compared to other life forms the norm is not genocide I confide trying is lying but really thinking about what's stinking isn't so easy sometimes feels cheesy but that smell I must dwell on it and tell on it because all this is leading to another miss - global victory is not supposed to smell like dead rotting flesh and skeletons of global citizens.

All these maps psychological traps relapse collapse the collective consciousness make a mess divide and conquer hide inside a bunker now we're under a spell they tell all kinds of issues and misuse and instinctive common trust to build a sense of 'now we must...' or else or else or else - time to mention the most valuable thing is your attention invention creation creative nature is natural it's more valuable leave the conflict to inflict it's own home grown explanation for the devastation in the instruction it's destruction defeat I eat I swallow all this anti knowledge propaganda I become shallow.

What if they gave a war and we all didn't go just said no you deal with it you created it by drawing all your borders of orders on these big colourful maps your greed is the seed of what you think you need we read and write and so we get to say what's right for the majority we're the minority all the lines on a map are not out there in the world and the vast majority of people don't know where they are and don't care don't even know about a map so what about their opinion? Why do you think you deserve dominion over someone who has none?






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Comments by other Members



Ioannou at 09:58 on 01 September 2003  Report this post
Confusing at first but by the third paragraph this was cool. Hypnotic. Like your style. Love, Maria.

Ellenna at 10:12 on 01 September 2003  Report this post
Strong messages and a powerful rythmn..I like this style...I admire it.

Ellie

old friend at 13:37 on 16 September 2003  Report this post
Hello Josh,

I also love 'words' and the sounds they make when they collide with others of similar tenor.

I didn't quite 'grasp' the piece which probably makes it first-class! However how is this to be used? It has the hallmarks of RAP or is very influenced by this.

It is original and shows a truly creative mind.

old friend, Len



annodomini at 16:49 on 18 August 2005  Report this post
Hi Josh,

I really got the rhythm of this, it's a constant, powerful beat. As I read it I was imagining it performed in my head like a rap. Do you see it as a performance piece or strictly written? It works well on the page too. Great stuff.

A

marjie_01 at 22:50 on 14 January 2006  Report this post
Hi Josh,

Just a bit of restructuring would make this much better. It reads as prose, so set it out like a poem and it'll seem less complicated. Liked the sentiment a lot. :)


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