INT. HOSPITAL LOBBY. DAY.

CERISE walks across the spacious lobby staring blankly to her front, despite the bustle of the lobby area she seems to have no focus on anything around her. She does not slow for the automatic doors and only just slips through their parting frames.

EXT. THAMES EMBANKMENT. DAY

CERISE leans over the wall looking onto the Thames not seeming to care about the effect of the slimy coating on her smart attire. For the first time emotion begins to seep into her face, pain. The look grows as she glances down at the Chanel bag hanging from her shoulder.

A shaking hand pulls a new but already crumpled envelope from within the polished leather. She holds it in front of her and stares, her look of sadness evolving into contempt. Beneath the flaps of torn paper where it has already been opened the hospital name and address of the fertility clinic are clearly visible.

The envelope slips from her hand and flutters away into the obscurity of the river. There is no build up to CERISE’S tears, an immediate succession of anguished sobs underneath her quaking shoulders with no attempt made to try and hide her emotions. She leans in against the wall for support as the pedestrians hurry past doing their best to ignore her.

INT. COFFEE SHOP. DAY.

CERISE walks in through the double doors, calmer than before but the redness around her eyes betraying her earlier crying. In the background the intro to the eleven o’clock news can be heard over the general chatter, CERISE stops short of the counter and looks across the room.

Half of the customer area is taken by an array of children’s prams and buggies, most of the other half by mums feeding or rocking their sleeping babies.

SUZY and OLIVIA sit around their cramped table in contented conversation, SUZY with her baby in the crook of her arm sucking at her bottle, OLIVIA carefully watching the sleeping passenger of her pram.

OLIVIA
… I actually worked it out that
even if he wore a different
outfit everyday he would still
grow out of his six to nine
months clothes before he had
a chance to wear them.

SUZY
(Smiling)
I think it is so sweet that he
spends all that time shopping
for him.

OLIVIA
He spent twenty-five pounds on
a pair of trainers for him,
he doesn’t even walk!

OLIVIA seems to have become a little bit distracted and SUZY follows her stare to the other side of the room. MARK stands at the condiments table stirring a sugar into his coffee while glancing down to check if his daughter is still sleeping in the pram.

SUZY
See anything you like?

OLIVIA immediately breaks her stare as if she had not been looking.

OLIVIA
I wasn’t …

SUZY
(Eyeing up MARK)
Pretty cute, nice shoulders.

OLIVIA
(trying not to look)
Don’t stare.

SUZY
Flick you hair …

SUZY gives an OTT hair flick in MARK’S direction.

SUZY
Come on, you try it …

Giggling OLVIA playfully slaps her friend’s arm.


OLIVIA
Stop it …
(Embarrassed)
Stop it before he sees …

At the condiments table FIONA walks up alongside MARK.

FIONA
(leaning over)
Excuse me.

She grabs a stirrer from the jar and looks about the table. MARK holds up the sugar jar he is using.

MARK
You after this?

FIONA
No … thank you.

She sets off back toward her table but accidentally kicks the wheel of SUZY’S empty buggy. The handle jolts forward into their table rocking it enough to spill a little of her coffee. FIONA fixes the buggy with a contemptuous stare before remembering the mistake was hers.

FIONA
Sorry … stupid of me.

SUZY
That’s alright.

FIONA
Let me get you another one
Of those.

SUZY
No really, its fine

SUZY notices how flustered FIONA has become at such a minor thing, she looks over to the pram alongside the table where FIONA had been sat.

SUZY
How old?

FIONA looks at her a little confused.

SUZY
(Gesturing again)
How old?

For the first time since she stood up FIONA looks back at the pram.

FIONA
Oh … er … four months

SUZY
Come and join us if you like

OLIVIA
Yes do, we’re having lots of
fascinating conversation about
nappies and changing times.

OLIVIA laughs a little at her own joke in a friendly attempt to break the ice. FIONA does not re-act at all.

FIONA
Erm no … I’m fine thanks. I
have my magazine.

She points to the opened copy of ‘Elle’ on her table.

SUZY
Okay, maybe see you again.

FIONA smiles politely and turns quickly back to her table.

In the background behind the expanse of mums and buggies CERISE has remained motionless by the door. She turns away and walks out.

EXT. LONDON PARK. DAY.

OLIVIA pushes her pram towards the bandstand, her husband, NEIL, spots them before they arrive and walks over. He gives OLIVIA a cursory wave, his eyes lighting up when he looks down onto the pram.

NEIL
Hey boy … Hey boy

He crouches down in front of the pram and continues to coo and pull faces at his son.

NEIL
You alright? Did he have a
nap this morning?

OLIVIA
About an hour.

NEIL
(To the baby)
Well done, you are a clever
baby, lots of sleep, grow big
and strong.

NEIL stands up and moves behind the pram, he takes the handles and in doing so his back half turns to OLIVIA. She places her hand over his as he starts to walk off in an involuntary effort at inclusion.

NEIL
I managed to push back the
planning thing until three, so
we can take a really long lunch

OLIVIA
Great

NEIL
I thought we could go to the
urban farm.
(Leaning over the
pram)
What do you think son? See some
piggies, see some ducks

Still leaning over the pram he starts making quacking noises to his son, OLIVIA notices the ‘Baby Gap’ bag behind NEIL’S suitcase.

OLIVIA
What’s that?

NEIL
Nothing

OLIVIA
(A little frustrated)
Neil …

NEIL
It’s nothing, it wasn’t very
expensive.

INT. LIVING ROOM. DAY.

SUZY wrestles the pram through the narrow doorway and silently places her keys onto the table making sure her baby is still asleep. She looks back to the bunch of flowers on the table and picks up the note from underneath.

SUZY
Looks like just you and me
again baby.

EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET. DAY.

MARK pushes his pram along the narrow pavement, he steers it in close to a wall to allow a group of teenage boys past, they are thirteen or fourteen and in high spirits.

TEENAGER 1
Nice pram mate.

MARK’S head whips back to the direction of the disparaging comment, his aggressive stare and clenched fist an instant reaction to a potential confrontation.
The boys are not even looking at him, just continuing on their way to the park.

TEENAGER 2
Yeah but he wants to pimp it
up a bit, body extension kit …
some alloys.

The boys laugh amongst themselves not even noticing MARK, the comments not having been particularly directed at him, just some stupid banter between the lads. Realising how intimidating his own stance must look he slowly allows himself to relax and takes up the handle of the pram again.

INT. CONSERVATORY. DAY.

FIONA sits on the expensive recliner knocking back gulps of her coffee in between drags on her cigarette. In the living room behind her MARGARET, her mother in law, is looking over the Moses basket. She walks back toward the conservatory.

MARGARET
(Whispering)
He looks so much like him, in
the blink of an eye takes me
back thirty-five years.

Noticing the cigarette she closes the door to the living room behind her and opens a window.

MARGARET
(Tutting)
When did you start smoking
again?

FIONA just turns away and takes another long drag. Trying to lighten the mood MARGARET looks down to FIONA’S crumpled blouse.

MARGARET
That’s a nice top. New?

FIONA
It has vomit on it.

MARAGRET
Yes, little ones do have a
habit of doing that …

Something under the pile of toys on the side table catches her eye. She pulls out a copy of ‘TNT’ and scornfully looks down onto the circled advertisements for childcare.

MARGARET
We’re not still on this
nanny thing are we?

Frustrated at herself for leaving it where it could be seen she pulls it back and untidily folds it away under another pile of papers.

FIONA
You may be surprised to learn
that lots of people do use
nannies.

MARGARET
I am not very interested in what
lots of other people do. I have
very strong opinions on this and
so does Richard. If he had wanted wanted his son raised by some eastern eastern block or antipodean lady lady I'm sure he would have married married one

FIONA is too exhausted even to argue. She looks around for her pack of cigarettes despite not even having finished the one in her hand. MARGARET is not so cold as not to notice her evident distress.

MARGARET
Has Richard not been supportive
enough? Would you like me …

FIONA
He’s been fine, he helps where
ever he can but he is just so
busy with his work.

MARGARET
(Gesturing to the
house)
How do you think all this gets
paid for? The gardener, the
cleaner …

FIONA
I know … I know. I just hate
Being on my own, I dread it
when he goes away …

MARGARET puts a comforting hand on her shoulder.

MARGARET
I know its hard adjusting and
James is quite a needy baby but
becoming a mummy has happened
about six billion times in the
last hundred years, its
nothing to get into a pickle
over … it’s the most natural
thing in the world, you’ll find
your feet, you’ll see.

FIONA does her best to smile back to MARGARET but her eyes betray her lack of confidence.

INT. OLIVIA’S LIVING ROOM. EVENING.

OLIVIA walks in pouring her glass of wine, she is quick to move up close to NEIL on the sofa.

OLIVIA
… and she’ll always schedule
the steering meetings on the
Monday because she knows I’m
not there.

She pulls his arm around her shoulders.

NEIL
She is such a megalomaniac, do
not let her get to you my
love.

OLIVIA
I just worry what is being said
about me when I’m not there.

NEIL
It will be different when you
go back full time. Just keep …

There is a faint whimper from upstairs. NEIL listens in as closely as he can.

OLIVIA
I didn’t hear anything.

The babies cry comes through loud and clear this time, NEIL winces at the sound.

NEIL
Oh dear, he doesn’t sound too
happy, better just go and see
if I can settle him.

OLIVIA follows him up a little almost as if to get in his way.

OLIVIA
Suzy read that sometimes you
should leave them to cry for a
bit, go in after about twenty
minutes to …

NEIL
I’m not leaving him for twenty
minutes.

OLIVIA
Just for a bit and see if they
can settle themselves, helps
them be a bit more independent.

NEIL considers her comments as OLIVIA stares at him hopefully, the crying above them increases to a full-blown wail.



NEIL
I’d better just check on him,
make sure he’s alright.

Trying to be positive OLIVIA nods.

OLIVIA
(deflated)
Okay … you come back down
when you’ve finished though?

NEIL
Sure, see how he settles.

Keen to get upstairs NEIL darts out of the room. OLIVIA remains on her own on the sofa.

INT. MARK’S LIVING ROOM. EVENING.

MARK shoots through the door to silence his mobile that is trilling on the window. He hits the connect button and checks up the stairs to ensure the noise has not woken the baby.

MARK
Hello …

MARK gently closes the door behind him, his face seems to light up at the voice on the other end of the phone.

MARK
Raggy you lanky streak of
piss what the fuck are you
doing back? I didn’t think
freedom bird was until the
fifth … Brigade cut us some
slack that’s got to be a
fucking first … yeah I know I
spoke to Mickey T, when I
heard that some boys in Al
Amara got it I shit myself. Who
were they anyway? … Engineers?
… what the fuck were they doing
out there in soft skin? … Jesus,
I swear some of these REMF’S
think they’re cutting about
on Salisbury Plain …

The initial joy MARK had displayed at speaking to his friend seems to cool a little, the subject seems to have changed.

MARK
… well it was a complete bag
of shit obviously … on the day
I didn’t really have time for
being upset I was just trying
to hold everyone else together
… mate I can’t even think about
that, he had some previous for
drink driving, maybe he’ll get
a couple of years, I cannot
even get started thinking about
that … being a daddy is great
… all about staying on top of
your administration so it ain’t
that different from soldiering
… at the moment I’m still on a
compassionate, they’ve been
great, it’s going to be full
pay until the discharge comes
through …

MARK drops himself into a chair and holds his head in his hands.

MARK
… you don’t think I haven’t
thought of that? … of course
I do I feel it all the time …
I can’t pass the buck on this,
not to a relative not to
anyone … Mate, there is no
choice here, I’m all she’s
got … look, you got six weeks
post tour yeah? … Right well
sis is coming down next month
she can watch boo boo and we
go can paint the fucking town
… sounds like a plan … I’m
just glad we brought all the
boys back safe … yeah whatever
you fucking mong … bye …

He holds the phone in his hand feeling the weight.

CUT TO :

MARK stands in front of the mantle piece looking up at the picture of the bride above him, he turns up the volume on the baby monitor until the static become audible.

He places the monitor on a lower shelf next to a picture of himself in Army uniform, he is leant back against a Land Rover rifle slung across his chest looking confident and contented. He looks at his own image for a while before sitting back onto the sofa with his magazine.

INT. NURSERY. NIGHT.

SUZY leans over the cot reading the story in a soft voice. Her face glows orange under the diffused glow of the night-light.

SUZY
(Reading)
… the monkey sat down next
to Sammy. ‘But the lion is
so fierce, and the Giraffe
is so big and the Rhino is
so angry’ cried Sammy. ‘ I
know’ said the monkey ‘ but
you don’t have to be afraid
because your mummy will look
after you’ …

INT. CONSERVATORY. NIGHT.

FIONA paces back and forth with the phone pressed firmly against her ear. Above her the high-pitched scream of her child cuts incessantly through the whole house.

FIONA
(Almost pleading)
Come on Richard …

RICHARD
(On answer phone)
Hi sorry I’m not available
right now …

She immediately hangs up and throws the phone onto the sofa in a fit of frustration.

INT. KITCHEN. NIGHT.

FIONA fumbles around the kitchen trying to find the components to make up a feed, her agitated movements a clear sign of her distress. The crying above her remains relentless.


FIONA
(To herself)
Water … okay, formula …

She pulls the tin from the stacked cupboard trying to hold in the rest of its contents. A look of panic and fear hits her face when she pulls open the lid to reveal the few grams of powder remaining in the bottom.

FIONA
Christ …

INT. SUZY’Z KITCHEN. NIGHT

Suzy stands at the sink washing down the days bottles in soapy water before placing them in the sterilizer.

INT. CAR. NIGHT.

FIONA awkwardly manoeuvres the car around the rainy streets in search of a 24-hour chemist or super market. Her son continues to scream in distress on the back seat, in the cramped confines of the car the noise is unbearable. Streaks of tears can be seen down FIONA’S face as she tries to hold it together, she has to shout to be heard over the noise of the screaming.

FIONA
We’ll find some soon darling …
sorry we ran out mummy forgot …
silly mummy … silly mummy

The babies screaming continues, frantic and painful. Beginning to openly weep FIONA jabs her hand at the radio controls until it produces some music, she fumbles the volume right up in a vain attempt to drown out the crying. It has little effect, the high-pitched scream incessantly cutting through anything around it. FIONA slams both her palms on to the steering wheel.

FIONA
(Screaming)
I said I was sorry! I’m
sorry! I’ll get some why can’t
you just fucking wait! Fucking
wait! Fucking wait!

She shakes and beats the steering wheel with both of her hands


FIONA
Wait you selfish needy little
fucking bastard!

EXT. ROAD UNDERNEATH RAILWAY BRIDGE. NIGHT.

FIONA’S car skids up to the pavement under the bridge. She steps out and walks round to the back door, the seatbelt holding in the child seat is throw back and she pulls the seat from the back of the car.

She moves up to the back edge of the pavement away from the rain dripping down from above and places the seat on the floor. Her son’s screaming never stopping. She steps back into her vehicle and rapidly accelerates away from the kerb and down onto the road.

INT. CAR. NIGHT.

FIONA attempts to gather herself wiping the tears away from her face and trying to control her sobbing. She switches of the radio and for the first time can hear what is around her, she almost smiles at the silence.

INT. SUZY’S LIVING ROOM. NIGHT.

SUZY stands from where she was dozing under a blanket on the armchair. The lights from the car on the driveway are extinguished and we can hear the front door being unlocked.

Her HUSBAND walks in and drops his bag, before wrapping both arms around SUZY in a tender embrace.

HUSBAND
(Kissing her head)
Hey wife … why are you still
up?

SUZY’S body seems to sink into his arms, any tension melting away from her shoulders and back.

SUZY
(Sleepily)
Wanted to see you.

They hold one another tightly, no words needing to be spoken.

EXT. COMMERCIAL STREET. DAY.

CERISE walks down the busy street tightly dressed with briefcase in hand. Her eyes pointed, her face stoically blank.

We cut back to CERISE walking in between each of the following scenes.

EXT. PARK. DAY.

OLIVIA sits on the bench with her magazine, the look on her face one almost of envy. NEIL is some distance away on the edge of the pond with the pram, enthusiastically cooing over his son and throwing bread to the ducks for him to watch.

EXT. NURSERY. DAY

MARK proudly pushes his pram through the collections of buggies and mums that are leaving the playgroup.

INT. EMPTY FLAT. DAY.

The Estate Agent waves goodbye to FIONA before letting himself out. She remains in the middle of the bare room, her expression neither happy nor sad. But the tightened knot of tension that had possessed her so completely before is no longer present.

EXT. GARDEN. DAY.

Under the broken shade of a tree SUZY spins with her baby held up in front of her, the child grins and laughs back to her as they turn. He reaches out his arms and clings onto her as she brings him close, they continue to turn both filled with the joy that only a bond between a parent and child can provide.

THE END

Copyright Foster Marks 2006