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Punishing kiss

by Iain MacLeod 

Posted: 11 September 2006
Word Count: 79
Summary: Not really sure about this one, one of those poems that come together surprisingly quickly. I know what I want to say, but I'm not sure whether I've done it justice...
Related Works: Battle • Find Me • Highland • Lighthouse • No More Sad Refrains • Stillness Becomes Me • 
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For L.

My thoughts are inescapable,
barbed nets at every turn.
They refuse to leave, even in rest.

Sleep.

They descend, velvet sledgehammers
dashing me aside.
They are my chastening,
shackles for which I wish no key.
They dwell in me and I on them,
slicing to the core when I recall shared motion,
shared stillness, shared…

Blink.

A chill winds into my waking dreams and settles.
Leave me be with a remembrance of arms
and a punishing kiss.






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Comments by other Members



paul53 [for I am he] at 10:29 on 16 September 2006  Report this post
Hi Iain,
Bearing in mind your summary, I have to say that this piece strikes me as the ingredients for a verbal banquet rather than the meal itself. Save it, set it aside, forget it, then return with fresh eyes and work it into something you ARE sure of.
I would like to be more precise here, but I am not in the best frame of mind myself at present - I have had a particularly dry creative season myself - so I hope this brief response is of some help.
Paul

<Added>

two x "myself"s - how selfish
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Iain MacLeod at 19:35 on 26 October 2006  Report this post
Hi Paul,

First of all, apologies from my tardiness: I've recently moved to London and I'm still in the 'settling in' mode.
Thanks for having a look, and I think I'm in agreement with you with this. Perhaps it wil work its way into something else, I'm not sure.

I'm with you on the dryness too. I've been working on something since July and it's only six-eighths done. I know where I want it to go, but I keep hitting walls.

all the best,

Iain
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