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Web Seduction
Posted: 10 October 2006
Word Count: 54
Summary: Previously, "Anniversary" for 10th October. Second draft.
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to think
but know nothing?
all is drawn
taken
what it is
to mate with the Black Widow
perhaps it was the primordial Lilith?
devoured
but not to die
love
but never to know
the palps that once touched so gently
in this strange eight legged waltz
such are the games in the darkness
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Comments by other Members
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 Beanie Baby at 20:44 on 10 October 2006
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Not quite sure where it's going either but that's not a criticism. Some of the lines are so profound:
devoured
but not to die
and
love
but never to know
Like these - they make me think. Also liked your closing line - it left me wanting more and that's an achievement in itself!
Beanie.
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Becky100880 at 17:29 on 12 October 2006
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I too feel a little lost in this, but then - given my green-ness that is in no way a criticism.
As you say it seems like first draft, some strong ideas, and I'd be interested to see how it develops over future drafts.
I like
"Such are the games in the darkness"
It definitely makes me think about relationships, but I'm not sure what it makes me think yet, if that makes any sense.
Becky
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Plagious at 17:01 on 13 October 2006
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Beanie / Becky - thank you for comments, really appreciated! The title related to a poignant date, so the words were more spontaneous than crafted. Will think some more! P
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Account Closed at 07:50 on 27 October 2006
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Powerful stuff, and with something this strong, I don't think you need worry too much about possible obscurity. The reader can interpret it as they will. My thoughts were:
Spider (title)
to think
but know nothing
all is drawn
taken
what it is
to mate with the black widow
devoured
but not to die
love
but never to know
the palps that once touched so gently
in this strange eight-legged waltz
such are the games in the darkness
I think that here the title is the key to a greater understanding, but the piece resonates at a far deeper level in any case. Very thought-provoking.
A
xxx
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Plagious at 18:38 on 27 October 2006
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Anne - thank you for comments. Have changed title as suggested. Still not sure about dropping the "primordial Lilith" line. Some say she was truly the first woman before Eve, driven by a complete carnal nature. Px
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 phi at 04:36 on 16 April 2007
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the black widow spider is a picture of the demon lilith
her web is the world wide web (internet)
she makes her abode in dark places (pornographic sites)
she uses lust to lure men
the hourglass on her abdomen is a picture of the busy-icon that appears as files are downloaded
she mates with men as they masturbate to these sites
she then feeds on them, draining the life from their spirits
their end result is spiritual death
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Plagious at 14:58 on 13 August 2007
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Phi . . . curious response you had to the writing. It really had nothing to do with the internet. More a deep and sincere affection for someone who does not know the effect they have on others. P
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