So Long
Posted: 10 September 2003
Word Count: 116
Summary: More depression
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Do you remember, long ago
a distant place so warm and safe?
a real time, a lasting time, the last time
you felt life's grace?
It's the hopeless dream of a worthless soul
just a wistful thought in the blackest whole
you cannot return where you have not been
unloved, unseen.
Now dark waves hammer on the breaking sea
under anvil clouds of thundering screams
and the land is lost and the raven too
and the timbers hold while the salt seeps through.
Do you remember, do you know
that distant place which was warm and safe?
a real time, a lasting time, the last time
you could feel life's grace?
No
Don't cry
Just, GO
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Comments by other Members
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 Felmagre at 10:41 on 12 September 2003
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Hello PeterXBrown
After reading this I wondered if I might ask you to elaborate on its background, the inspiration. It seems to me that there are several pictures that it conjures up for me and wondered if I was on the right track.
I must say 'wistfulness' is the strongess 'mood' which comes through to me from this poem and I was wondered why.
Thank you for posting it.
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Barney at 18:50 on 12 September 2003
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Forgive me, but I wondered about blackest whole/hole. Intentional, well great. Typo, well great. The poem works with both, but it alters the perception of the piece a little depending on which way you go.
Cheers, Barney
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peterxbrown at 11:30 on 13 September 2003
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Hi Felmagre, I hope you are well . I have enjoyed reading your poems, especially those with social reference like mining etc. This poem is all about being depressed and trying to come to terms with it. Depressed people like me are bound to look back to a time when things were good. Unfortuneately , depressed people are also realistic and this, together with depression questions whether things ever were that good!! We cannot go back because it did not exist as you hope it did ! We tend to suffer from low self esteem and worthlessness at times
Lots of the imagery describes my personal experience of depression. The "going" is the ever present thought of suicide at the darkest hours.
Barney, thanks for your comment. The blackest whole is not a typo and its links to a black hole is intentional.
LittleGypsyau thank you so much for responding.I like your uplifting "Words" poem.It cheers me up after reading my suicidal misery! love peterb
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Felmagre at 18:28 on 13 September 2003
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Thank you Peter for taking the time to enlighten me to its inspiration. I am unahppy that so many folk, appear to be afflicted by this'invisible' and often misunderstood illness.
For me gaining insight into the background of the poem has allowed me appreciate the visual pictures your words produce.
Now I can undertadn the wiltfulness.
Thank you so much for posting it, and if I may, I would like to say that despression for many is something they recover from. I trust this may also be true for you.
Kind regards
Felgrn.
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Tina at 19:13 on 15 September 2003
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Peter
I have read and read this poem
It has some powerful images which really ressonate with me - especially the third verse which for me, taps into the anger beneath the depression.
Thanks Peter
Tinax
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peterxbrown at 23:45 on 15 September 2003
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Felmagre Thank you for your wise words and positivity. I am coping well , I think, with depression but it is always there.
Tina, Hi, thanks for your generous comments especially about the third verse!I am very flattered you reread this poem as I am enjoying rereading your brilliantly steamy subtexts in "The Restaurant".Meal times will never be the same again!
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Tina at 16:18 on 16 September 2003
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Peter
Just my fertile imagination thats all
far from the mad reality!!
Look forward to more of the same
Tinax
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 Jox at 00:37 on 19 September 2003
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I have just joined this web community and have no idea if I may comment on work within a forum - so sorry if I am breaking any rules! (do please let me know). However, I have just read Peter's poem and I simply have to say it is one of the most striking poems I have read in some time. Its use of language and imagery are superb. Again, it would appear, out of misery comes some of the best art. It sounds perverse in a way to say I like the poem (given the subject) but I do - its rhythm echos in my head. Just one question, Peter, why did you alter the first line of the first stanza when you (almost) reproduced it as the last stanza? I can see various explanations but I would be interested to hear what you intended. Anyway, an excellent poem; thank you, Peter.
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peterxbrown at 01:27 on 20 September 2003
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Hi Jox, a warm welcome to the group and thank you so much for your generous comments.(You are absolutely encouraged to comment and you have not broken any rules.)
The slight changes from "do you remember long ago" to "Do you remember do you know" simply refers to a mistrust and inability to recognise that the good times before depression ever really existed and the impossibility of rediscovering equilibrium. "You cannot go back where you have not been...." It links with the change from"The last time you felt life's grace" to "The last time you could feel life's grace" which suggests that in a depressed state I am incapable of feeling anything positive even if does exist.The final "No, don't cry , just go" is a reference to suicide. I am so glad you enjoyed my work and hope you will check out my other offerings! love peterb
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Fearless at 21:30 on 27 September 2003
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Peter
Your poem made me think of the womb, and some of the comfort zones that may remind us of it.......the rumble of a car on the motorway as it swallows asphalt; the clackety-clack of a train; the rumble of a washing machine. I guess it's comfort's rhythm. Few of us would admit to this feeling, but who would fail to respond? I was going to write about this, but I strongly feel that you would do a much better job.
Fearless
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peterxbrown at 23:54 on 05 October 2003
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Hi Fearless, Good grief,Womb! Yes I see what you mean! Perhaps some deep psychological force or need was influencing me. Very interesting.
You have noticed something I missed my good friend. Your comfort rhythms is a really great idea and you must write it!
Thanks for the compliment but it is undeserved! Best wishes as always pb
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Fearless at 01:41 on 27 October 2003
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Peter
Trust me; with respect to 'comfort's rhythm', you would do it far more justice. Write on.
Fearless
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