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RADA, 1948

by Amym 

Posted: 08 November 2006
Word Count: 157


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You were only just sixteen
unsure and had an
Irish-East End voice
but it was he,
not you, who said
the x in gateaux
in Lions Tea House after
class

I can see your knowing peachy smile,
appalled, but somehow
oddly reassured
then holding still
his nervous hands and
feeling so grown up

Shimmying down Chenies street -
your brother's cords a home-made skirt
you were electrifying
i'm sure -
best actress in your class-
the prettiest as well

and you were easily entranced,
I bet,
by the funniest man you'd ever met,
Sinatra sealed it
in the end
for better or for worse

you shone your winning, irish smile
through years of his premieres,
affairs and scotch
to Jesus, Mary and your Ma
your offered it all up

but what if, back in forty-eight
you'd known that
one day, watching TCM alone
you'd smile and mouth the lines
he stole-
obliviously-
from
your lips?




Amy Mason






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Comments by other Members



DJC at 18:12 on 09 November 2006  Report this post
Amy - this is a lovely piece, full of quiet melancholy for a life gone by. you capture character beautifully with the 'x in gateaux', and it moves on from here. You get a real sense of one person's life, and the second person address adds to the intimacy.

Just a couple of minor things - the full rhyme 'bet' and 'met' jars a bit, and might be better as internal rather than end rhyme. And a couple of typos (I think) - 'of for worse' (should be 'or'?) and he'd stolen, rather than he stolen.

Lovely!

D.

Nell at 18:03 on 10 November 2006  Report this post
Hi Amy,

I had a strong sense while reading that the 'you' of the poem is someone you know, and that this really happened. Lovely detail - I can not only see her but hear her too - feel almost that I know her thanks to the details. I especially like the following:

Shimmying down Chenies street -
your brothers cords a home-made skirt...


...to Jesus, Mary and your Ma
your offered it all up


I did wonder if the man whose hands she held was Sinatra - I'm still unsure - it seems unlikely that he'd be at RADA in 1948, but perhaps we don't need to know.

I'd have liked more punctuation - I had to read that last quote a few times before I understood. A few missing apostrophies as well as the typos mentioned by Darren, but I expect you'll find them.

Some hesitation at 'appalled' (because he prounounced the x?) Can one be:

appalled, but somehow
oddly reassured...


TCM stumped me I'm afraid.

But as Darren says, a lovely poem, although I didn't find it melancholy; this feels to me more like a girl wistfully visualizing a story told to her by an older woman - her grandmother perhaps.

Nell.



Xenny at 02:40 on 15 November 2006  Report this post
Hey Amy.

It's a lovely poem. I really think it's wonderful. Like Nell I also had the sense that it was about people you knew, such as grandparents (that was my assumption as I was reading it I think). It manages to seem very real whatever. There were a few bits I particularly liked but I'll have to come back tomorrow as it's late and I'm at my boyfriend's computer and preventing him from going to bed!

Xenny

Xenny at 12:29 on 27 November 2006  Report this post
Back a bit later than I intended!

I love

but it was he,
not you, who said
the x in gateaux


and also the two bits that Nell picked out.

I didn't find it melancholy either, for the first four stanzas. But the last two made me wonder... they had a sadder feeling to them and made me wonder what was going on. I was curious of course about what the 'lines' were in the last stanza.

I really enjoyed it

Xenny

paul53 [for I am he] at 11:04 on 11 December 2006  Report this post
All of the above. Intrigued who the guy was. Great sense of allowing the reader to be there with the narrator.


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