Login   Sign Up 



 

Not guilty

by joanie 

Posted: 12 December 2006
Word Count: 27
Summary: It would take an age to tell you the story, but this one is keeping me awake at night.


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


Your face
contorted into
a glowering mess

found me
in my defenceless
state. What did I do?

I know
my innocence is
real. So why don't you?







Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



Brian Aird at 08:02 on 13 December 2006  Report this post
There's real depth in this short piece. That last line's a riddle isn't it. Why don't you what? Ah, wait a minute she's in her defencless state (nudge nudge , wink, wink). No, its probably something else; after all there's that glowering mess to think about. I reckon I got the first word though.

nice one

Brian


James Graham at 15:01 on 14 December 2006  Report this post
One of the many ways in which men and women are said to be different is that women feel guilty and men don’t. This poem contradicts the woman’s guilt aspect very nicely. ‘Not Guilty’. ‘I know my innocence is real’ - so why don’t you calm down and admit you were wrong? But men can be very difficult…we don’t do guilt and won’t climb down. Ridiculous generalisations, these - but some truth in them!

In every poem of yours there’s always a good technical point to comment on. I like the neat rhyme of ‘do’ and ‘you’. And the fact that two questions rhyme strengthens the parallel. This balances the second and third verses and so the form of the poem reflects meaning - it helps to put the two ‘antagonists’ on an equal footing, giving equal weight to both.

I always admire the economy of your poems, and this is no exception. ‘Glowering mess’ is an excellent phrase, by the way. It’s the word ‘mess’ that does it. The face of an angry man can be an awful mess at times.

James.

joanie at 18:01 on 14 December 2006  Report this post
Thanks Brian! The last line isn't really a riddle, and it illustrates beautifully why poems should be heard. The stress is on you. ... Why don't you know that I'm innocent??

Thanks very much for reading.

joanie

joanie at 18:24 on 14 December 2006  Report this post
James, your response is fascinating because this is a bit of self-indulgence, really. I have had the most awful week with a colleague. I have done absolutely nothing wrong, yet have been subjected to verbal attacks, etc. Interestingly, it's a woman! Perhaps that's why she never married!

Thank you so much for your considered and encouraging response.

joanie

James Graham at 21:27 on 14 December 2006  Report this post
Mmm...I bet nine out of ten would say it's a battle of the sexes. Sometimes as soon as you write a poem - well, at soon as other people read it - like a grown-up child it wants to leave the nest. It gets away from you - becomes its own 'person'. You thought it was about X but it thinks it's about Y.

All the same, it's fascinating that this really was a female colleague. Her face 'contorted into a glowering mess' - when I come to think of it, I've had female colleagues as well as male who fit that description. One or two had pulled faces too often and had stayed that way.

Whoever the antagonists are, however people see the poem, it's got your trademark. Multum in parvo.

James.

joanie at 17:34 on 15 December 2006  Report this post
Thanks again, James! Interesting, your idea that a poem leaves the nest; I shall think about it often in the future, I'm sure.

joanie

Tina at 08:55 on 29 December 2006  Report this post
Hi Joanie

Belated reply sorry - BUT when I read this I thought it was a woman - glowering mess means woman to me anyway and I sympathise about the work colleagues - have a number of gloewring messes on my staff too!

Happy New Year and thanks for all your posts this year

Enjoyed this as ever

Thanks

Tina


joanie at 16:31 on 02 January 2007  Report this post
Hi Tina. Thank you so much - I'm glad you saw a woman! Happy New Year to you too.

joanie


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .