Login   Sign Up 



 
Archive » LiverbirdLou » Work
Archive »  Poetry » Love » Work

What If

by LiverbirdLou 

Posted: 21 September 2003
Word Count: 104
Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


What if tomorrow never appears?
What if I start drowning in my tears?
Will my life ever be the same?
Will you tomorrow remember my name?
What if there is no more happiness meant for me?
What if I slowly fall into misery?
Will I still remain sane?
Can you ever take away this pain?
What if I die before I awake?
Will my soul stay or will the lord take?
What if there is no more meaning to live?
What if I have no more love to give?
Will I ever stop crying from the hurt?
Or will I end buried under dirt?






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



Anna Reynolds at 11:23 on 28 September 2003  Report this post
Liverbird Lou, the dramatic tone of this appealed to me- and I wondered if it would work also if you freed yourself from the restriction of rhyming- 'will my soul stay or will the lord take' seems forced because you've having to fit words in a particular order, and the dark, melancholy sense of the poem feels like it could really take off if it had no limits on it. What do you think?
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .

 






Other work by LiverbirdLou:      ...view all work by LiverbirdLou