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Another time, another place.

by rmol1950 

Posted: 01 March 2007
Word Count: 303
Summary: Hello I am new to this group and thought I would try your weekly challenge.

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Alice, although breathless, calmed down as she took her seat on the bride’s side of the church, her new boyfriend Mark, at her side. They had arrived almost too late but the young Usher had found them seats at the back of the church just as the Bride's car drew up outside, ignoring her offered invitation card in his haste. Her friend Margaret, beautiful and wealthy Margaret, had found the perfect husband. Alice had not met him because she had been abroad for two years but she knew he was heir to a fortune and felt the familiar surge of jealousy associated with thoughts of Margaret. She clutched Mark's hand, happy that a society wedding would impress him.

Mark noted carefully the wealth and quality surrounding him. Some of these daft frocks and hats must have cost a fortune. And the jewellery! Look at that bloody necklace, he thought. Society sporting its finest, and he smiled. With rich pickings all around he settled happily on the uncomfortable pew to await the reception and the opportunities it would bring. Alice stared at him adoringly. She was an irritating woman but cultivating her had been well worth the effort and he felt sure he would find a suitable replacement today.

The smiling Bride squeezed her father's arm as the wedding march began and the entire congregation turned to watch them. In the pew nearest her she noticed a woman she did not know. The woman was staring at her with what seemed utter bewilderment. Then she noticed the woman’s companion.

“Mark! Oh my God, what’s he doing here?”

She felt her father stiffen, heard his muttered curse. Then the loathing she felt for Mark, the feeling of betrayal, the fear, crowded back into her mind, and the carefree happiness of the moment before was gone.

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Comments by other Members

rosiedlm at 21:06 on 01 March 2007  Report this post
Hi Richard,

What a bastard Mark is!

I got a bit confused at the end as I read it that they turned up to the wrong wedding but couldn't quite work out how Alice hadn't noticed. Maybe I'm being very dim?

Thanks for the read,



PS. Forgot to say, welcome to the group.

choille at 12:03 on 03 March 2007  Report this post
Hi Rmol,

Loads of back story here.

He is a right manipulator. Did he take them to the wedding of a former lover & not the cousin's one previously mentioned?

It seems that he has plans in mind to dump her for a wealthier woman.

Great read - a couple of typos:- ...She clutched Mark[']s hand....
....The smiling Bride squeezed her father[']s arm as.....

I like the distain of Mark's at the daft hats & frocks - makes you hate him even more.

All the best

rmol1950 at 13:34 on 03 March 2007  Report this post
Caroline, Rosie
Thank you for the helful commments. This idea came from a true story I heard where a woman arrived late at a wedding and was hurried into a seat at the back of the church. She didn't realise she was at the wrong wedding until the bride arrived two minutes later.
I will have to re-visit this as it is obviosly not clear. Thank you for pointing it out.
Best wishes

JenDom at 18:10 on 06 March 2007  Report this post

Great ending!! Hope Mark got his comeuppance!

I'll just nitpick on the change of POV's within such a short story. Perhaps it would have been better to stick with one MC's [either Alice or Mark or Margaret]point of view? Make the impact of whoever was betrayed or doing the betraying more profound and immediate.

Just a thought.

I enjoyed this, thanks


sazzyjack at 16:01 on 10 March 2007  Report this post
Hi Richard,
I liked the writing here, but felt the story was a little contrived. It wasn't until I read your explanation that I understood the premise, and even then I felt it would have been a huge coincidence for them to accidentally turn up at Mark's ex's wedding.

Prospero at 07:21 on 27 March 2007  Report this post
Hi Richard

Sorry I am even later at this wedding than Alice.

I'm afraid I couldn't follow this, I got confused about who was who.

Good effort though, I hope you will join in some more of the Challenges.



rmol1950 at 05:47 on 28 March 2007  Report this post
Thanks to everybody for bothering to read this piece which clearly doesn't work. That'll teach me to rattle something off in a hurry and not edit it. It's a good job I don't have to make my living meeting writing deadlines.

JenDom at 21:54 on 28 March 2007  Report this post

But I do hope you re-write this though - there's a gem of a story waiting to be drawn out here!

Good luck.


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