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The End of the Line

by Victor Gente Delespejo 

Posted: 05 April 2007
Word Count: 58
Summary: A lonely night at my favourite rock bar, listening to immortal tunes and chucking down Belgian Ales. The barman is a magician, juggling spirits and CDs all at once. Not a drop is spilled, not a note is missed. I ask for pen and paper and reach the end of the line. One year later, the barman, a good person and friend, dies in a plane crash. This is for him.


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I'm drowning my sorrows
In a juice that ferments
And brewing more troubles
As I feel more content

The end of my palate
Tells me it's time
I've returned, I am there
At the end of the line

The music is playing
The lights are still on
And when the music is over
We'll be present at dawn






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Comments by other Members



joolsk at 13:42 on 06 April 2007  Report this post
Hi Victor,

I absolutely loved this piece, it is quietly moving and very assured. Only one tiny comment - I'd remove the caps at the beginning of each line except the first in each stanza - the caps distracted me from reading and interrupted the easy flow of words that make your poem so beautiful.

Hope this helps,

Kind regards,
Jools

Victor Gente Delespejo at 18:03 on 13 April 2007  Report this post
Hi Jools.

Thanks for your words. I haven't considered that the caps may distract from the read, so I will keep it in mind.

Warm regards,

VGD


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