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by Beth 

Posted: 22 July 2007
Word Count: 90

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I look into the river. I see a reflection, an image; is that me?
The water ripples, the reflections gone
but Im still here; I am me.

Images, visions, memories, feelings,
were these real? or did I imagine all of these,
where did they come from
This life, a past life, who cares
Put them together they make me.

I look into the river. I see a reflection,an image;
The water ripples, the reflection has gone,
But I am still here,I will always be me,

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Comments by other Members

Brian Aird at 12:40 on 22 July 2007  Report this post
Hi , Beth. You write sensitively and its clear you have a spiritual side as evidenced by this thoughtful poem and your previous work in the archive.

I liked the way you took something as simple as your own reflection to show the difference between ephemeral things like external appearance and internal life; which you believe is eternal. Others may disagree philosophically, but no-one can doubt the strength of conviction expressed so beautifully in this piece.

The 'who cares'; is this said despairingly? Some think the past, well actually memories, (that might be Zen - not sure) are all that we are. Obviously, identity is way more than a reflection; but is it more than how others see us?

I guess 'who cares' ought to have a question mark (also 2nd line 2nd verse) - but you could go the other way; for example, you could dispense with capital letters at the start of each line, to make it even less formal looking.

Looking forward to reading more of your work...


joanie at 15:02 on 22 July 2007  Report this post
Hello, Beth. Like Brian, I can see that you have a degree of perception which needs to have its release in Poetry. What a fantastic medium, isn't it?

I wonder whether you could lose some of the capitals at the start of lines, as you are writing as if in prose. Personally, I favour punctuating like in prose, so that I would rather see
I look into the river. I see a reflection,
an image; is that me?
The water ripples, the reflection's gone
but I'm still here; I am me.

What do you think?


Beth at 17:14 on 22 July 2007  Report this post
That was really helpfull advise so thank you

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