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Cast Adrift (in sight of land)

by  Epona Love  ( 766 )

Posted: 12 August 2007
Word Count: 242
Summary: A poem I wrote many years ago now, and have jiggled a bit.


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Cast adrift (In sight of land)

Here I lie alone amongst the many Isles
Surrounded by conflicting seas in turmoil
Cast adrift upon my heart, so many miles
Lie between me and the sanctuary of soil.

Here I hover motionless, my resolution
Carried by the wind to who knows where
Tears that fall combine within this salt solution
Their destination meaningless, for who will care?

Who will care where ever I live or die, but I?
It's nothing now to wander without cause
For I have lost myself, not knowing why,
Except to long too deeply for the shores.

Upon the land the trees stand, tall and green
The grass is lush and wondrous and deep
The mountains reach the sky within the scene
Too high to climb, too treacherous and steep.

Still, I would try to grow my wings and fly
To reach my destination, gaining loving arms
Impossible, I know too well, and so I lie
At mercy of the waves, whose motion calms.

Could mercy somehow save me, then blessed I would be
Delivered free from harm, away from loneliness
An eagle or a vulture hovers over me
A saviour, or long slow death's, twin winged caress.

Mercy, when it comes, will be the end or the beginning
The force that drags me under, or the helping hand
The death of me, or sanctuary, whichever peace the winning
'Til then adrift, through time I shift, in sight of land.




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Comments by other Members


Posted by :  Account Closed at 10:47 on 17 August 2007
Very lyrical poetry here - with a strong centre, which I enjoyed.

I'm wondering whether in fact you could cut stanzas 5 and 6 entirely and it would make it even stronger. I also think that the last line needs a rework. The internal rhyme weakens it, I think.

Just a thought anyway!

A
xxx
Posted by :  Beanie Baby at 13:40 on 22 August 2007
Enjoyed reading this. It took me on quite a journey and could be construed in several different ways.

Thanks for sharing.
Beanie
Posted by :  J1mbo at 23:15 on 29 November 2007
I really liked this. It got me thinking about my own 'lands' that are always in site, especially those that may be the most difficult to reach or achieve. I also liked the element of 'giving up' in the poem. Ironically, this caused a slight sense of liberation, that feeling of letting go and trusting to 'mercy'. I agree with Beanie that this poem can be looked at in different ways.

Posted by :  J1mbo at 23:20 on 29 November 2007
Forgot to say: I think that the title is extremely clever. A tantalizing sense of frustration is created here. Added to this, it also looks like the idea it conveys, with 'Cast Adrift' being slightly off shore from the added '(In sight of land)', which uses lower case and therefore seems more distant from the main title and yet so so close.. If you did this on purpose, very clever!
Posted by :  J1mbo at 23:22 on 29 November 2007
'Sight' not 'site'. Sorry


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