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All Change.

by rmol1950 

Posted: 25 August 2007
Word Count: 122
Summary: Here is my contibution to this weeks challenge. Apologies for not being very active lately.


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ĎPlease phone when you arrive. You can reverse the charges.í My mother tried hard to smile.

ĎAnd donít forget, you have to change at Crewe. Iíve written it all down for you.í Dad was repeating himself and I nodded, confidently tapping the breast pocket that contained my travel directions.

Steam and pungent coal smoke from the locomotive swirled around them where they stood, so clean against the grimy platform. The guardís whistle pierced the clamour of the station, and carriage doors rhythmically slammed shut as he moved along the train.

ĎAll aboaaaard.í The harsh voice distorted the words, and in that moment I felt the first flutter of apprehension, and recognised the pain in my motherís eyes. And began to grow up.






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Comments by other Members



Account Closed at 09:19 on 26 August 2007  Report this post
Heart-wrenching stuff - this made me feel homesick all over again! It feels like the start of a novel - I'd certainly like to know more.

:))

A
xxx

Prospero at 10:17 on 26 August 2007  Report this post
Hi Richard

Thanks for the read.

This felt like a war time evacuation scene, or it might just have been going off to boarding school. Either way it was well drawn and evocative with a good feel for the emotions of the moment.

Well done

John

ireneintheworld at 22:08 on 27 August 2007  Report this post
wonderful images here richard; you've captured a lot in very few words. well done. i only just remember the last steam trains, standing on the iron walkway above them as they passed under. fabulous evocative memories here for us oldies.

irene

rmol1950 at 10:21 on 28 August 2007  Report this post
Thank you all for the positive comments and glad you enjoyed the read. This flash fiction is fascinating to write. Its good not to be the only one who can remember steam trains, if only dimly.
Richard



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