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Let Sleeping Lions Lie {SUMMARY/ SYNOPSIS}

by BobCurby 

Posted: 28 August 2007
Word Count: 1843
Summary: This is group of stories from my memoirs.
Related Works: Let Sleeping Lions Lie - Chapter 1 • Let Sleeping Lions Lie - Chapter 2 • Let Sleeping Lions Lie - Chapter 3 • Let Sleeping Lions Lie - CHAPTER 4 • Let Sleeping Lions Lie - Chapter 5 • Let Sleeping Lions Lie - Chapter 6 • Let Sleeping Lions Lie - Chapter 7 • Let Sleeping Lions Lie - Chapter 8 • 

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Let Sleeping Lions Lie is a group of stories from my own past, I decided to write the memoirs after relating the experience of being thrown out of South Africa in 1968 to a bank manager in Newquay, Cornwall.
My job in the period 1997 - 2002 was in itself 'risky' and so I do build in some of the things that happened during that time (such as getting kidnapped in Istanbul) but predominantly the stories are of my childhood and young manhood.
You can read the Chapters currently uploaded in the Memoirs archive. I would like to say that I had a very fast moving and dramatic childhood in Africa and from poignant moments basking in the warm sun amid sweet smelling wild lillies to thrashing through the jungle in the pitch dark in an unlit Landrover carrying 1500 litres of stolen petrol whilst being fired on by guerillas, my life had it all!
I have been shot at seven times, shot one person myself, survived a leopard charge, and faced the formidable Cape Buffalo, to name but a few events in the memoirs. Here's how it's all laid out:
CHAPTER ONE -- Where are you now? - the chapter where I was expedited out of South Africa for helping someone who was about to get beaten by police.
CHAPTER TWO -- Fuel Run - where I went into Zaire, collected 1500 litres of petrol,and ran the gauntlet of robbers on the way home.
CHAPTER THREE -- Simba never gives any mercy - I describe my first sighting of a lion kill, then an incident in the Kruger National Park that got me fired by the tour agency I was driving for at the time.
CHAPTER FOUR -- Hide in the Long Grass Coming upon a General Dynamics F-111 USAF 'Aardvark' strategic bomber and tactical fighter in amongst the pine trees near Lockerbie, I went back to the incident of the downed Lockheed SR-71 'Blackbird', a stealth bomber that theoretically didn't exist then, but I saw it come down and went to where it was being repaired - there was a cover-up, and it was assumed I would forget about it - I didn't!.
Chapter Five -- Viva Las Vegas! - On a trip to Las Vegas, I relate some comical moments with a young woman who reminds me so much of someone we lived next door to in Makeni. In the hotel I had a sudden flashback and was prompted to write about the time when I was 6 years old and terrorists blew up our house. Back home in the present I came into contact with an old Ferguson tractor and this lead to the the comical events surrounding my first attempt to plough with a similar one back in the 60's.
Chapter Six -- LOST! - This was the most terrifying day of my life! I went pot-holing with some friends, we discovered 5 dead bodies in the lowest cave, panicked, and ran. I had no torch, banged my head, and lay dazed for several minutes. The resulting horror of being trapped/lost underground for nearly a whole day with five grizzly bodies and their possible murderer still around is described in detail.
Chapter Seven -- Down Came the Sky - 2001 9/11, I was in Swansea when the first aircraft hit the North Tower in New York, I drove to Cardiff and checked in just in time to see the second one hit - my eldest son was supposed to be on that flight - fortunately he wasn't. This is a traumatic chapter (no excursion to the past.)
Chapter Eight --- Jungle Drums Whilst on surveillance in Exeter, the sound of a two-bladed helicopter sounded similar to jungle drums in my ears and I relate an incident of hearing these when I was about 7 years old, and after rushing out to see where the drums were, got lost in the dark in the African 'bush' whilst being stalked by a leopard.
Chapter Nine -- Sold Out - I consider the repercussions of the British Government's departure from Zambia leaving my father to fend for himself.
Chapter Ten - - SIMBA COUNTRY - A scary incident at the Stanley Falls, situated on the equator; Ugandan terrorists nearly ended my life.
Chapter Eleven -- Mission Impossible? - this is an 'at the time' chapter - I wrote about a situation to do with my job - having to leave the hotel quickly to escape hit-men, I moved to a safe house and then had to contend with an over-attentive woman who was intent on getting me into bed. This made me recount my first sexual experience in South Africa (but not in great detail - only the events leading up to it.)
Chapter Twelve - - Mission Accomplished - I relate the terror of surviving a leopard charge in Livingstone in 1962. I then reflect back on the girl in Ch 12 and what she really was like and then on to the stupid idea of running down Table Mountain in Cape Town, which I survived, though I don't know how, with just a few scratches. Back to the present where a colleague and I then left the safe house to go on a mission in Istanbul (modern time, not in the past) and whilst there, got kidnapped by Turkish Mafia; only the swift intervention by Turkish police saved us - we continued and completed the mission. Back in England another attempt was made by the hit-men, but my colleagues used a safety-net tactic that allowed me to get away safe.
Chapter Thirteen - - HARBOUR NIGHTS I was on the Dorset coast with my wife, on a surveillance mission, it develops over the next two chapters so no further comment here.
Chapter Fourteen - - MOSI -OA- TUNYA - Still in Dorset - after a brief description of the surveillance while keeping my wife in the dark as to what was happening, the action then moves to the Hampshire coast opposite the Isle of Wight. Here the surveillance continues, and clandestine meetings with my boss, a woman, in the grounds of the hotel leads my wife to think I'm having an affair. In a spot of daydreaming my thoughts drifted back to the Zambezi and the huge Victoria Falls (called Mosi-Oa-Tunya, 'The Smoke That Thunders') and the longest Zip Line ever - down into the gorge along with the fright I had going down it.
Chapter Fifteen - - WHERE'S THE OTHER SHOE? - Still on the Dorset/Hampshire surveillance mission with my wife along, I relate a forensic situation in one of the 'sunken lakes' (sink holes filled with water) in Zambia's Northern Province - involving a body with only one shoe.
Chapter Sixteen - - THIS IS THE DAY WE DIE!.. As a teenager, whilst a junior warden, I was on fence patrol with a warden, in Livingstone Game Park (now called the Mosi-Oa-Tunya Reserve); we were checking the mesh fencing for holes. I recount our coming face to face with death in the shape of three Cape Buffalo, but we managed to escape thanks to some Japanese tourists.
Chapter Seventeen - - CROCODILES EAT TOO Fishing for Tiger Fish (similar to Piranha) in the Zambezi, I caught a crocodile instead - this is the slightly amusing tale.
Chapter Eightteen - - - ELEPHANT ANTICS On another occasion whilst fishing in the Zambezi, I got in between a young bull elephant, and the water, where he wanted to go, this story weaves around how my attempts to communicate with the elephant, local knowledge and cool head saved my life.
Chapter Nineteen - - A BOMBSHELL 2002, I was made redundant, enabling me to tell Sara what I did for a job - she thought I was a spy! I was a Commercial Insurance Fraud Investigator and the surveillance exercises were to uncover attempts to make fraudulent claims, often running into millions of pounds sterling in value. This explains why hit men get sent after us. I explain all about the Dorset/Hampshire case.
Chapter Twenty - - BAROTSE LAND SUMMER CAMP - Having mentioned Summer Camp earlier in the book I take a light excursion into some of my visits to the Kafue Game Reserve as a junior warden.
Chapter Twenty One - - LET SLEEPING LIONS LIE. . . I relate how I started to write this book, wrestling with many feelings and reliving the horrors of my past.
Chapter Twenty Two - - POACHING IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH. . . continuing the thread from Ch21, I relive the time when a poacher came to kill our Lechwe and take the horns. It ended up with me shooting the man. (It is this event that I refer to in chapter 2, The Fuel Run and may explain why I hesitated to take the rifle.)
Chapter Twenty Three - - PLAYING WITH BONGOS Redundant, with time on my hands and money in the bank, I went to do a season at a Safari Park, for the fun of it. Here are a few small anecdotes, including a bit of fun with Bongos. BONGOS are not drums - they are a bovine wild animal also called Sitatunga.
Chapter Twenty Four - - Deep Down Feelings Still at the Safari Park, I recall the mining accident in Zambia that left me with a permanent cough after I was in a cave-in 4.5 miles down a copper mine.
Chapter Twenty Five - - AMERICAN ENGLISH Whilst in Nashville, Tennessee I take a light hearted excursion into the differences between US and UK English.
Chapter Twenty Six - - JET PLANES AND PINES I decided to take Sara to Scotland to show her a US Air Force fighter jet parked in a pine forest only to find that it has gone.
Chapter Twenty Seven - - STUNT RIDER Still at the Safari Park, while chatting to a young motor cycling colleague I tell him about the horrific accident I had on my motorbike, crashing through the sides of an empty box van, and surviving (of course) with only a few broken bones. The 'bike wasn't so lucky!
Chapter Twenty Eight - - A MYSTERY REMAINS I sought in vain to solve the mystery of the US fighter plane in the pine forest.
Chapter Twenty Nine - - ONE SMALL MISTAKE - On my way to my younger son's garage I was punted in the rear by joy riders at traffic lights, straight into the path of a 40 ton juggernaut which hit my passenger side and took my car sixty metres down the road. In hospital it didn't look good, the family prepared for the worst. Thankfully I pulled through to finish this book! This chapter switches from my narrative to my wife's so she can tell how she felt and what I looked like etc. (I don't know, was 'out of it' for some time).



You are reminded that what you read is copyrighted material.
FA(c)T
(c) BobCurby/S Goodings 2007






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Comments by other Members



Cornelia at 14:36 on 29 August 2007  Report this post
I like the sound of this but was curious to see how you managed such a short synopsis. Here are some random reactions you may find useful:

You need to present a summary of events in the order in which they happen, as far possible without commenting on the action or speculating on how the reader might react.

I would leave out the paragraph explaining the title as it's fairly self-explanatory although you need to make it more apparent what happens to Rob's mental processes as the narrative progresses.

It might start:

'A chance remark provokes middle-aged business man Rob to write an account of his travels and adventures.'

Then continue:

In Capetown's Arabella Sheraton, a badly poured pink gin reminds him of the time he...

One minute the story is in the present, describing the hotel and its guests, the next it’s in the past,


sounds as if the reader will be confused.

Better would be :

'Triggered memories intrude on Rob's impressions of his surroundings...'

It's intriguing to move around in time,and you have hinted at some of the incidents,but you need to indicated the order in which things happen and the characters involved, possibly with some names.

Are you aiming for a series of interconnected short stories set in hotels in different countries with some Proustian flashbacks?

I think you need to flesh out the central character more, and how he develops, not just indicate happens to him. Does Rob suffer a mental breakdown as a result of his experiences? Does he feel guilty about neglecting his family? We need to know.

The agony and pain he feels, followed by the relief when his son contacts him to say he wasn’t on that flight, fills the pages with emotion.


is an example of directing the reader without supplying enough personal background. We know Rob would feel upset and then relieved in this sitation.You need to say something like:

'Saddened by the loss of a son he never knew, Rob determines to make the best of this second chance when he learns he is alive.'

There is a change of tense from present to past at the start of the fourth paragraph but you should aim to have the synopsis all in the present tense unless you are very precise about when it happened.

I hope some of this is helpful.

Sheila

Dee at 18:41 on 29 August 2007  Report this post
Hi Bob, this is a good start, but there are several areas where you can improve…

Rob is a middle aged Englishman whose job takes him all over Britain, occasionally into Europe, and regularly to the USA. Although born in England of English parents, he grew up in equatorial Africa.
Give him a surname.
I wouldn’t say he’s middle aged. To many people, middle aged is a state of mind signifying dull, staid, pipe & slippers – which is not the image you want to create in an agent’s mind.
You have Englishman/England/English in the space of two sentences.

Elements of his job mean staying in hotels for several nights at a time
You don’t need this – we can assume it from the fact he’s travelling to other countries.

humerous ~ humorous

I agree with Sheila about cutting out the paragraph explaining the title.

The frightening near death situation of facing the ruthless unafraid killers of the bushveldt, Cape Buffalo and the mining accident four and a half miles underground.
I can't work out whether this is one, two or three incidents! And I think we can take it as read that ruthless killers are unafraid.

Rob was traumatised by the destruction of the World Trade Centre, the Twin Towers, now commonly called 9-11
You don’t need to explain this. I doubt there’s a conscious human being on the planet who doesn’t know what 9/11 means.

fills the pages with emotion.
This is telling the reader how they're expected to react. I'm sure there is a lot of emotion in the writing, but try finding a different way to say it.

Following an horrendous traffic accident involving a 40 ton 16-wheeled juggernaut, Rob has to rebuild his life.
And? This is far too big an incident to leave hanging on the end, and as a result, it will leave your readers feeling unsatisfied. It raises too many questions that you don’t answer. This comes back to a question I asked you in a group thread: is this fact or fiction? If you're writing it as fiction, you must give the story an ending.

Hope this helps

Dee



BobCurby at 19:55 on 29 August 2007  Report this post
Thank you for your prompt responses.

Sadly I am worse off. I knew this was going to be hard!

Let me say first of all I am not trying to write a synopsis of a book I am about to write - rather this is the synopsis of the book I wrote mostly in 2001/2 (hence 9/11), it is finished.

The hotels were mostly in the UK, I would leave home on a Sunday evening, and return either Thursday of Friday evening, from Lands End to John O' Groats virtually! I don't make much comment about the hotels - apart from comic interludes (humorous - spelled correctly this time) - the stories are cameos, memories, sometimes they were triggered by comments, sometimes by a vehicle (eg Landrover in Safari livery), sometimes it was something on the television. No. I didn't have a mental breakdown, but I do find that sometimes I relate things happening now to things that happened years ago - that's what I mean.

I am going to look at the book, then I am going to list the events/stories from chapters 1 to 25.

Characters - well, there's only one main character, Rob (sure I can give him a surname) and the only other character that features more than just a fleeting cameo is Sara, Rob's wife - on a couple of occasions I took my wife with me - apart from that the characters in the stories coming from my memory do not ever feature again.

I may just bury this book and forget it! I can then go back to the book wtitten in 1982 (The Lion Sleeps) a work of fiction and totally set in South Africa with a host of characters, a plot, and a powerful ending...... but that's another story!

Once I have listed the chapters, chronology etc. you may see my dilemma clearer - oh, and I know my son very well - my wife dropped him at Heathrow on 8/11. The last words he said to me by text message was "I am going to stop over at Sterling's place in Boston, then I'll fly on tomorrow to LA and get my flight to Honalulu". You see, he had saved up and was going for a diving holiday in Hawaii. I am glad that United Airlines told him it was too late to change schedules and he had to fly direct to LA on 8/11, he was in his hotel in Hawaii when the first plane hit - he sent me an e-mail as soon as he could, knowing what I would be thinking ---- so I conveyed completely the wrong idea in that synopsis, yeah?

Don't go away - I'll be BACK!

:)

BobCurby at 19:57 on 29 August 2007  Report this post
Oops, typing too fast - the fifth typed line should say Thursday OR Friday evening - not 'of' - but you knew that didn't you.....

Cornelia at 23:34 on 29 August 2007  Report this post
Sorry, Bob. I thought it was fiction. Referring to your mc in the third person and giving him a different name from you own gave me that impression.

I do sympathise because I have a similar book which I can't decide whether to make fact or fiction.

Sheila

BobCurby at 23:41 on 29 August 2007  Report this post
OK - I am uploading the WORKS - the potted chronology of the book - it's like the ramblings of a demented spider, sheesh! AND, it's thirty chapters not twenty five!!!

I've headed it 'synopsis', but it isn't really - when you see the way the story goes, starting with my visit to Cornwall and ending with my recovery in A&E - you'll see the dilemma! BOO HOO!!!

:(

Cornelia at 09:17 on 30 August 2007  Report this post
Bob, it's good you have a detailed outline for each chapter. I don't have time to read this - my limit, for short stories and chapters of novels, is about 2,000. For a synopsis you're going to have to break it down, anyway to a max of about 1,000 words.

Maybe initially you could take each chapter and reduce it to a sentence or two, then string it together again? This way you are really going to realise the essence of the story and see which are the most important bits. Good luck with it.

Sheila

Dee at 17:57 on 30 August 2007  Report this post
Bob, I'm not sure what you want us to do with this now, as it’s no longer a synopsis. I've read bits of it – although it’s too long for me to read and comment in detail – and the main thing that strikes me is what do the present-day scenes add to the story? Why not just write it as a straight memoir? At the moment, and I realise I'm beginning to sound like a stuck record now, it’s trying to straddle fiction and biography and falling down between the two stools.

Dee


BobCurby at 18:52 on 30 August 2007  Report this post
AAAAAGH!!!!

:(

It isn't a synopsis. I did that (took three hours) so that you can see the dilemma.

If I wrote just memoirs - well I have to call it a collection of short stories. Four present day chapters cover a surveillance mission Rob was on, as does another chapter when he goes to Istanbul. If I left the modern day out, would it not be a disjointed series of events - worse than now - my hope was to use the modern day to smooth out the overall flow. The lengthy text you see isn't supposed to flow it's my attempt at getting the chronology down for those that commented on chronology.

Really what this comes down to is the synopsis may take me ages, but I'll get it right. Seven people have the read entire book and following their comments and advice, editing has taken place, this has been in the final stages for three years, constantly re-reading and adjusting etc.

I'm sorry if I sound hard here but most books are over 50,000 words, this one is 75,000, the 3,000 odd above are really just the minimum comments on each chapter.

I do apologise to those with a short attention span, I can write that synopsis in 1,000 words, I doubt it.

I have pulled it off now.

Thanks for your constructive comments, it has given me a basis to start from.


BC


Cornelia at 09:22 on 31 August 2007  Report this post
I do apologise to those with a short attention span, I can write that synopsis in 1,000 words, I doubt it.

I have pulled it off now.



Bob, sorry for the misunderstanding. I didn't mean I don't read anything over 2,000 words - on the contrary - just that 2,000 words a time is limit for WW pieces that I'm going to comment on, because of other commitments.

You seem to be saying on the one hand that you can't write a synopsis for such a big book in 1,000 words and yet you have. Maybe the chapter summaries were posted to show how much detail is involved and you mean you have finished the book but not the synopsis?

It sounds as if you have been able to get lots of live feedback already for the book itself, but there is a WW group called Fiction Seminar that might be helpful. I have a query with a story I'm working on and it occurs to me I might be a more active member of the group myself in the near future.

All the best with completing this, which I'm sure will happen as you have committed so much to it already.

Sheila








NMott at 14:19 on 31 August 2007  Report this post
Hi Bob, I'm sorry I did not have time to look at your work before you took it down, but for tips on summarising scenes/chapters I can heartily recommend a book called Solutions For Novelists by Sol Stein (a follow on from his earlier book: Solutions for Writers).

- NaomiM

Dee at 19:05 on 31 August 2007  Report this post
Three hours? Wish I could write a synopsis so quickly.

I'm sorry if I sound hard here but most books are over 50,000 words, this one is 75,000, the 3,000 odd above are really just the minimum comments on each chapter.
I do apologise to those with a short attention span, I can write that synopsis in 1,000 words, I doubt it.


You seem to be saying that it’s not possible to write a synopsis in less than 3000 words for a novel of 75,000… is that right? I have to say I don’t agree. My novel is 115,000 words and the synopsis is less than 500, so it is possible.

Short attention span? I'm surprised you think of us in that light when we've tried to help you. There’s certainly nothing wrong with my attention span but, like everyone else on this site, I have a life which takes up some of my time.


BobCurby at 02:10 on 01 September 2007  Report this post
Time out!

I apologise first for any impression I may give that belittles either anyone's abilities of the amount of help offered/given - that was not the intention I had. My comments were not as sarcastic as they may have appeared. I genuinely meant that if you had only a short attention span because of a) personal life b) commitments c) preset time-allowance or whatever - then I'm sorry I failed to get out what was needed within that time scale - not that you were of borderline imbecile status! I AM SORRY!!!! :(

It sounds as if you have been able to get lots of live feedback already for the book itself, but there is a WW group called Fiction Seminar that might be helpful. I have a query with a story I'm working on and it occurs to me I might be a more active member of the group myself in the near future.

I was advised to move from Fiction to Memoirs, because this isn't fiction, it's a chronological present day storyline (literally from June 2001 to September 2002) whilst I was in a job that involved staying away from home four to five nights a week in various parts of the UK, but also USA and Europe. During this time, I sat in hotel rooms and thought about my childhood back in Central Africa - events around me in the hotel, animals in the fields etc. triggered memories - I wrote them down as I remembered them - all of this is mostly fact - it isn't a fiction.



You seem to be saying that it’s not possible to write a synopsis in less than 3000 words for a novel of 75,000… is that right? I have to say I don’t agree. My novel is 115,000 words and the synopsis is less than 500, so it is possible.

Of course if mine was a novel with an advancing storyline, then YES it would be possible. I wasn't saying it was impossible to write it less than 3,000 words. The 3,200 words wasn't a synopsis, only the basic chronological events of 24 chapters out of 30 - so that those who asked questions earlier and offered constructive ideas and suggestions could see how difficult it is to get this synopsis down.
All the basic rules of a synopsis don't seem to fit.

As I mentioned before - if this was a novel, I would probably have no problem with the synopsis - look at my comment on joolsk's thread - where I mention the novel I wrote in 1983 called "The Lion Sleeps" (NOT related at all in anyway to the book we have been talking about) which is entirely fictional - and I could easily do the synopsis in under 1,000 words (and will do).

Apologies again - just my frustrations coming out!

Thanks everyone....


:)






Cornelia at 09:23 on 01 September 2007  Report this post
I think this is a memoir, or journal, so you don't need a synopsis. I'll expand on what I mentioned of a similar problem, in case it's a help.

When I was working in a remote part of China for a year (2003-4) I kept a journal and copies of all the emails I sent and made daily notes of unusual incidents on my office computer. There were frequent business and weekend-trips to other cities. When I got back I merged emails and journals chronlogically into files labelled by the month and edited it down to make a day-by day account. As you can imagine, the text was very long. I then rewrote it, cutting out repetitions and running it through a spellcheck, etc.

The chronological approach didn't seem to work very well, so I decided to go through the material grouping it according to theme,.i.e west v. east work practices, food, struggles with the language, etc. This was much more interesting and often fell into mini-narrative mode. I had already had one or two 'topic' articles published in the 'Beijing Review', an expat magazine, when I was in China. You can see some of the rest in my archives - the overall title is 'Silkworms and Snow'

I have had no success in interesting a publisher in the book, not that I've tried very hard, so I've laid it aside for now. However, your own struggles makes me think I could either try to include autobiographical stuff or write in the third person, as if it were a novel. I tried to put some personal background into an introduction - an explanation of why I came to be working in China - but it didn't work.

I'm just wondering if yours needs paring down, to exclude, say, the past and just concentrate on the location happenings, or you could re-arrange the material according to themes, as I did. It may be that there are separate books about, say different countries. I must say it's laborious, printing off the original material in chunks then highlighting, using different-coloured felt-tips, according to a master chart, then cutting and pasting the text on the computer. I used this method for a film book I wrote and found it worked quite well.

It has the advantage that you get a different perspective and become very familiar with your your material. I guess you already know your stuff anyway as you've worked on it for a while.

All you need send to a publisher/agent for a non-fiction book is a lively outline and some chapter headings - I think it's called a proposal- plus of course the usual sample text.

As you see, thinking about other writers' work, can be inspirational. Thanks for this, and I hope my account is of some use.

Sheila



NMott at 11:19 on 01 September 2007  Report this post
I think Cornelia's idea of themes is an excellent one. When I read autobiographies, the best ones have their material grouped in that way, and it helps to tie up the ending, so that it doesn't just tail off into the sort of chronological one of '...I arrived back in England and bought a house, got married, lived a quiet life....etc'
If the material seems a bit scant, you could include the anecdotes of friends, family, colleagues, other interesting people you've come across over the years.
Some writers amalgamate people into one anecdote so it is a mixture of fact, which is fine if it makes it more interesting for the reader (and often occurs in films which carry the caption 'based on fact').

- NaomiM

Cornelia at 11:40 on 01 September 2007  Report this post
I'm glad you think this, Naomi, although I've been reading - or listening to - Dirk Bogarde's latest episode of his biography, called 'A Short Walk from Harrods'. The title is misleading because it's more about his twenty years in the south of France. Two things occur to me why I've read several of these books and what makes them successful: he is, or was, a celebrity, of course, but that's not enough to keep me reading; developments have more of a pattern over a long period of time; he writes detailed descriptions of place and characters. The south of France is where a lot of English people want to live, of course, which is another factor, altough tending vines is my idea of nothing to do (it's Dirk's,too - he leaves that to the hard-working Forwood, his manager and companion.)

It occurs to me, too, that it's more interesting to read about one person's in depth impressions of one place and characters than have them flitting about (unless it's Jason Bourne, of course).

I think I need to read an extract from 'Sleeping Lions' before commenting further.

Sheila

NMott at 13:45 on 01 September 2007  Report this post
Oh, I loved Dirk Bogarde's books - I read the first three or four. Half the fun was the teasing way he treats the 'truth'. His homosexuality is never mentioned, but there is a certain amount of salacious gossip where he neglects to name names (several celebrity authors do the same thing, which is much preferable than not being told the stories in the first place). Some of it was simply made up, but you can't see the join - his contemporaries are dead and he burnt alot of his papers before moving back to England so the truth of the matter is now lost forever.
I also loved reading James Herriot when I was younger (of course he made up a lot of details like names, to protect the 'innocent'). I have to admit I tried re-reading his books recently, but found the prose a bit too 'flowery'. Maybe you have to be a certain age to appreciate them.


- NaomiM

Cornelia at 15:30 on 01 September 2007  Report this post
Yes, I listened to the bit about him burning the papers, although I haven't quite got to the end of the disks - there are eight of them. I listen when I wake in the night and sometimes I drop off so there are gaps. I thought, at the end, he might come clean about Forwood's real role in his life, but I suppose he wouldn't see it as very loyal. Maybe that's why they went to France in the first place - more tolerance.

I read all of Gerald Durrell's books when I was younger, and would recommend them, but haven't tried Herriott. I think I saw some of the TV episodes. There's another writer who is funny about Yorkshire, and lots of animals seem to come into it he's a Schools Inspector, though. I think he's called Phineas.

The other thing that occurred to me whilst I was out was that 'Sleeping Lions' also fits into the travel category. I think that's where I posted my China chapters for feedback. I wonder if you have thought of making it a travel book, Bob? After all, as Naomi suggests, you don't have to keep strictly to the truth. (Whatever that means, in the words of our future monarch)

Sheila

NMott at 16:05 on 01 September 2007  Report this post
Sorry, Bob, for hyjacking your thread to chat about memoires.

I watched a documentary about Bogarde at Christmas, and right to the end he never admitted his sexuality - there was a famous interview with Russell Harty where the Harty is trying to get him to admit he's left 'significant bits' out of his autobiography and a waspish Bogarde replies 'you ain't cracked the shell yet, dearie', or words to that affect.

I did read a couple of Durrell books - after the Herriott ones and an excellent series written by a Zoo Vet, and a number of medical memoirs following in the Doctor In The House style, and a wonderful memoir by an artist who moved to the Shetland Isles in the 60's. I have to say that Durrell was somewhat boring in comparison.

One series I loved as a teenager was Willard Price's 'Adventure' series: About two teenagers collectng animals for zoos. Fiction but based on Price's own adventures exploring the Amazon basin, Asia, Africa, etc, in the 1950's.


- NaomiM

Cornelia at 20:39 on 01 September 2007  Report this post
Well, you can't really blame Dirk for not wanting to upset his female fans to the extent he might not work again, and I suppose even the film royalties after he died could affect not only him but other cast members. A friend of mine never got over Rock Hudson being gay. Well, I think she may have by now, but I don't like to ask.

My husband says the author of the School Inspector books was called Phinn. You seem to have read a lot of animal books.

I wonder what happened to Bob?

Sheila

NMott at 22:07 on 01 September 2007  Report this post
Aha, found it on abebooks: Gervase Phinn, The Other Side of the Dale, (amongst others). I read an excerpt in one of the national papers a while back.
I love books on medical stuff - vets, doctors and medical mysteries were top of my reading list as a teenager.

Yup, it was a big shock finding out about Rock Hudson - and Dirk! And Denholm Elliott. Oh, and Alan Bates - another one I fancied (when he was younger).
At least Jack Hawkins wasn't gay - although his brother was (is). I met him and his partner in Spain (where he still lives, although his partner died a while back). His family disowned him, poor guy. The spitting image of his late brother.

- NaomiM

BobCurby at 00:35 on 02 September 2007  Report this post
Wow! That's really interesting about Dirk Bogarde. I thought he was dead!

I've been busy!

My son and I ripped out his entire kitchen and started rebuilding it yesterday. Worktops are in, sink just needs seating with the sealant and connecting up and then we do the wall cupboards. (I am a DIY freak - I could write a book on it --- OH NO!!!)

Anyway - let's have a look, what have you been saying while I've been away (that I can use that is.....)

I think this is a memoir, or journal, so you don't need a synopsis. I'll expand on what I mentioned of a similar problem, in case it's a help.

When I was working in a remote part of China for a year (2003-4) I kept a journal and copies of all the emails I sent and made daily notes of unusual incidents on my office computer.

NO I'm sorry - it isn't a journal (sigh) I wish I hadn't started this sometimes - there is a loose, bland storyline, of incidental, almost uninteresting things whilst I was in the hotels (except for four chapters where, accompanied by my wife, I was on a surveillance mission)The memoirs are not related to the period 06/01 - /9/02 - they were WRITTEN then. I'd like you to imagine a scene (It is in chapter 1) the main character is Rob (me, Bob) - on his way down to the hotel restaurant for dinner, sees a kitted out Landrover and that triggers the memory of petrol-running from the Congo during the Rhodesia crisis under Ian Smith, when Zambia had no fuel - and when I (Rob) got back into the room, I wrote it just like that. Each chapter has an 'excursion' into the recesses of my historical storage jar within the brain.... (hope that's clear?)

I think Cornelia's idea of themes is an excellent one. When I read autobiographies, the best ones have their material grouped in that way, and it helps to tie up the ending, so that it doesn't just tail off into the sort of chronological one of '...I arrived back in England and bought a house, got married, lived a quiet life....etc'
If the material seems a bit scant, you could include the anecdotes of friends, family, colleagues, other interesting people you've come across over the years.
Some writers amalgamate people into one anecdote so it is a mixture of fact, which is fine if it makes it more interesting for the reader (and often occurs in films which carry the caption 'based on fact').
YOU'RE DESCRIBING MY BOOK! Though, I can't 'theme' it - you see the stories vary from A) my involvement with a 'downed' top secret aircraft (the Blackbird) which Britain denied having for a good 5 years after it developed it - but I accidentally saw one and had great problems as a result; to B) Getting trapped deep underground in caves, without a light, having banged my head on a stalagtite and my friends having run off because we found 5 dead bodies in the lowest cave.....
Believe me - I tried grouping the stories - too diverse.

I think I need to read an extract from 'Sleeping Lions' before commenting further.
- SHEILA give me an address - I'll send you three chapters!! Pity there isn't a 'library' in this site where we can put a large chunk of the book - or more than 1 chapter separately - without the latest uplaod killing the earlier one...

A potted 'idea' of chapters 1 - 24 was up top there where it says 'gone away' - mainly to show what the dilemma was - but visitors hitting this thread for the first timne started offering advice as if it was the synopsis (but then, why wouldn't they), so to avoid confusion, I pulled it off again.

I have read one or to memoirs and autobiographies - but mine isn't anything like that - it is a factual set of linked stories that happened between 1953 and 1969 as well as a couple of anecdotal present day stories.


BOY THIS IS A TOUGH ONE!

:O






BobCurby at 01:12 on 02 September 2007  Report this post
Oops - as you see, I suffer from fast fingers, slow brain - sorry about the odd mistake in the previous note!.

Why not visit the Fiction I group and see my FICTION, "The Lion Sleeps" - (Or just click the link below) you'll see that the style and story development is completely different to the memoirs book....


Thanks everyone - I'll be back....

:)



Cornelia at 08:15 on 02 September 2007  Report this post
Bob, I've got to spend the morning writing an overdue play review and I have three other books I'm supposed to be reviewing, as well as a competition short story needing preliminary research, otherwise I'd love to get stuck into your manuscript. No, what I meant was that you might post an extract on the fiction group and I could look at it there.

Thanks for the incidental insight into what you mean by 'pulling things off'. I thought you meant it before in the sense that you had succeeded in achieving something - no wonder I was confused.

Dirk Bogarde died in 1999, according to the back of the disk box. He's living in Kensington in the bit where I've got up to - Forwood is just about done for, having fallen on a heap of paving slabs whilst dying from cancer, and Dirk is just about getting about after a stroke. There's still another disk to go, but I'm tempted to take the box back to the library. It was meant for a car journey, but turned out not to be tapes.

Are you sure about Jack Hawkins, Naomi? I suppose you must be. I look forward to seeing the surprise on my husband's face when I tell him. I'll wait until he's on the bridge in his duffel coat, pipe clenched between his teeth. ( Not my husband, but Jack, when we watch 'The Cruel Sea' for the umpteenth time. Come to think of it, I saw him being interviewed when he had a replacement voice box. He must have smoked off-screen as well)

Sheila

NMott at 13:16 on 02 September 2007  Report this post
Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, Shiela (lol!). Jack Hawkins wasn't gay, but his younger brother is.



NMott at 13:24 on 02 September 2007  Report this post
Pity there isn't a 'library' in this site where we can put a large chunk of the book - or more than 1 chapter separately - without the latest uplaod killing the earlier one...


There is, Bob - of sorts. When you upload a new piece of work, your old work is archived, not deleted.
You can upload any amount of work on WW (although you have to wait 2 days between uploads), and keep it in your archive - you can choose to keep it for your eyes only, or for group members only (whether or not you decide to assign it to one of the forums you've joined), or for any WW members, or even anyone on the internet.
It is usually not advisable to upload work that is longer than 2000 words on one of the forums, purely because it takes too long to read through and comment in one sitting, but that doesn't stop you from keeping longer pieces in your archive - which members can access via your profile under Work (depending on what setting you have used to make it visible to them or not). You can also provide a link on Introduce Your Work to items in your archive.

And once uploaded you can go back and edit them anytime.

- NaomiM

Cornelia at 16:45 on 02 September 2007  Report this post
Yes, the archive's great because you can sometimes get people commenting long after you've forgotten about a piece. To access, just click on the 'works' heading on someone's profile. I've got loads in mine, so please feel free to comment on any of my pieces.

Sorry, Naomi, for misunderstanding about Jack Hawkins. Your message was quite clear and it's just me reading it in a hurry that led to the confusion.

Sheila

BobCurby at 02:15 on 03 September 2007  Report this post
OK - I have uploaded Chapter 1 of Let Sleeping Lions Lie, then every two days I will add a chapter, so that the whole lot sits in the archive - thanks for that advice!

Going to get 4 hours sleep now, up at 6 as usual for 10 hours at Amazon.co.uk....

[:)]

NMott at 17:38 on 04 September 2007  Report this post
Hi Bob, I've left some comments on 'Let Sleeping Lions Lie'.

I have an annoying habit of shaking up the structure and seeing what falls out, but feel free to ignore the suggestions as you wish :)


- NaomiM

Cornelia at 22:30 on 04 September 2007  Report this post
Bob,I must be looking at the wrong piece. The one I saw is not one chapter but two and there's also some kind of preamble or introduction tacked on. Where is the other single chapter to which you refer? Sorry to be somewhat confused.

Sheila

NMott at 23:24 on 04 September 2007  Report this post
I found it in Memoirs, Sheila.

BobCurby at 00:58 on 05 September 2007  Report this post
LET SLEEPING LIONS LIE = MEMOIRS

THE LION SLEEPS (2 chapters with a prologue) = FICTION

Unconnected books, bad choice of titles perhaps, on my part.

Fiction reveiewers please feel free to look at The Lion Sleeps - this one is pure fiction, no facts that I know of - if there are any it's pure coincidence. It is a military campaign set in South Africa.

If you're interested in the book we started trying to sort the synopsis out for - it is LET SLEEPING LIONS LIE and it's just chapter 1 at the moment, in MEMOIRS - there is no fiction, this one is based on TRUE STORIES and EVENTS in my lifetime.

Hope that clears up any puzzles.

Editing chapter 1, then archiving and uploading chapter 2 tomorrow, of the memoirs (Let Sleeping Lions Lie).


Steve

:)

Cornelia at 08:22 on 05 September 2007  Report this post
I'm a member of the Memoirs group, albeit not very active since I took up reviewing, so I was a bit surprised I hadn't been notified of the contribution you mentioned. When I saw it was more 5,5000 words long, all one chapter, too, I probably just didn't try to read it.

I read a few paragraphs just now. I don't want to comment on something I haven't finished reading, expecially something complex. I must say Naomi and Rchard have done you proud and are a better man and woman than I am, Gunga Din. After a limited read, I agree with their comments.

Sorry, Bob, I can't do more than 2,000 words. As well as writing reviews I study Chinese and Spanish. My WW feedback activities fit into slots between study and writing sessions, or, as now, between classes and performances.

I hope you will post something shorter soon so I can read it (another go at the synopsis?) and in the meantime good luck with your writing - it really shows a lot of energy and commitment.

Sheila

BobCurby at 23:00 on 16 October 2007  Report this post
I have re-written the 'not a synopsis' as a summary of the memoirs basically - is that enough? Will it hook the agents and/or editors?

I think I need to list all the events that I have written about maybe...

BC

NMott at 23:23 on 16 October 2007  Report this post
I think you really need the advice of a non-fiction writer for this one Bob.

However, for comparison, I picked up a very interesting autobiography in the library by John Blashford-Snell titled: Something Lost Behind the Ranges (ISBN: 9780006383833)
It may well be worth checking out his blurb to see what, if anything, hooks you and comparing it to yours.


- NaomiM

BobCurby at 01:58 on 17 October 2007  Report this post
Thanks - that's worth looking at - I met Blashford-Snell back in the 80's.

thinking of your comment on the original attempt at a synopsis (quote---)

All you need send to a publisher/agent for a non-fiction book is a lively outline and some chapter headings - I think it's called a proposal- plus of course the usual sample text.


These are the chapter headings and brief summary

CHAPTER ONE – Where are you now? - the chapter where Rob remembers being expedited out of South Africa.
CHAPTER TWO – Fuel Run - where Rob goes into Zaire and gets 1500 litres of petrol, gets shot at but makes it home.
CHAPTER THREE – Simba never gives any mercy - Rob remembers his first sighting of a lion kill, then remembers an incident in the Kruger National Park that got him fired by the tour agency
CHAPTER FOUR: Hide in the Long GrassSeeing a General Dynamics F-111 USAF “Aardvark” strategic bomber and tactical fighter in amongst the pine trees near Lockerbie, Rob recalls the incident of the downed Lockheed SR-71 'Blackbird', a stealth bomber that theoretically didn't exist then, but he saw it come down and being repaired - there was a cover-up.
Chapter Five – Viva Las Vegas! - Rob in Las Vegas, sees a girl that reminds him of the girl next door in Makeni and he relives some comical moments. He also recalls the time when he was 6 years old and terrorists blew up their house. Rob has a modern day contact with an old tractor and recalls the comical events surrounding his first attempt to plough with a similar one.
Chapter Six – LOST! - Rob goes pot-holing with some friends, they discover 5 dead bodies in the lowest cave, panic, and run. Rob has no torch, bangs his head, is trapped/lost underground for nearly a whole day.
Chapter Seven – Down Came the Sky - Rob is in Swansea when the first aircraft hits the North Tower in New York, he drives to Cardiff and checks in just in time to see the second one hit - his son was supposed to be on that one - fortunately it wasn't. This was a traumatic chapter (no excursion to the past)
Chapter Eight --- Jungle DrumsWhilst on surveillance in Exeter, the sound of a two-bladed helicopter reminds him of jungle drums and he recalls an incident of hearing these when he was about 7 years old, and getting lost in the dark in the African 'bush'.
Chapter Nine - - Sold Out - Rob reflects on how the British Government pulled out and left his father to fend for himself.
Chapter Ten - - SIMBA COUNTRY - A scary incident at the Stanley Falls on the equator, Ugandan terrorists nearly end Rob's life.
Chapter Eleven -- Mission Impossible? - this is an 'at the time' chapter - I wrote about a situation I was in to do with my job - Rob has to escape from a hotel quickly to escape hit-men, he moves to a safe house and then has to contend with an over-attentive woman who's intent on getting him into bed. He recalls his first sexual encounter in South Africa (but not in great detail - only the evnts leading up to it)
Chapter Thirteen - - Mission Accomplished - Rob recalls surviving a leopard charge in Livingstone in 1962. He reflects back on the girl in Ch 12 and then to the stupid idea of running down Table Mountain in Cape Town, which he , and survived without more than a few scratches. Then he and a colleague leave the safe house to go on a mission in Istanbul (modern time, not in the past) and whilst there, get kidnapped by Turkish Mafia, only the swift intervention by Turkish police saves them - they continue and complete the mission. Back in England another attempt is made by the hit-men, but his colleagues use a safety tactic that allows Rob to get away safe.
Chapter Fourteen - - HARBOUR NIGHTS Rob is on the Dorset coast with Sara his wife, on a surveillance mission, it develops over the next two chapters
Chapter Fifteen - - MOSI –O—TUNYA - Rob, still in Dorset - moves to Hampshire coast opposite Isle of Wight, drifts back to the Zambezi and the huge Victoria Falls (called Mosi-O-Tunya, 'The Smoke That Thunders') and the longest Zip Line ever - down into the gorge.
Chapter Sixteen - - WHERE’S THE OTHER SHOE? - Rob, still on the surveillance mission with Sara along, recalls a forensic situation in one of the 'sunken lakes' (sink holes with water in) in Zambia's Northern Province - involving a body with only one shoe.
Chapter Seventeen - - THIS IS THE DAY WE DIE….. Rob, a teenager, on fence patrol with a warden, in Livingstone Game Park faces death in the shape of three Cape Buffalo, but manages to escape.
Chapter Eighteen - - - CROCODILES EAT TOO Rob, fishing for Tiger Fish (similar to Piranha) in the Zambezi, catches a crocodile instead
Chapter Nineteen - - - ELEPHANT ANTICS While fishing in the Zambezi, Rob gets in between a young male elephant, and the water, where it wants to go, his way with animals and quick wit saves him.
Chapter Twenty - - A BOMBSHELL Rob is made redundant, now he tells Sara what he did for a job - she thought he was a spy! Rob was a Commercial Insurance Fraud Investigator.
Chapter Twenty One - - BAROTSE LAND SUMMER CAMP - A light excursion into Rob's visits to the Kafue Game Reserve as a junior warden
Chapter Twenty Two- - LET SLEEPING LIONS LIE. . . Rob starts to write this book, wrestles with many feelings and relives the horrors of his past.
Chapter Twenty-Three - - POACHING IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH. . . continuing from Ch22, Rob relives the time a poacher came to kill their Lechwe and take the horns and how it ended up with him shooting the man dead. (It is this event that he remembers in chapter 2, the Fuel Run and why he hesitates to take the rifle)
Chapter Twenty-Four - - PLAYING WITH BONGOS Rob. redundant, with time on his hands and money in the bank, goes to do a season at a Safari Park, for the fun of it - BONGOS are not drums - they are a bovine wild animal - he has a comical incident with them.
Chapter Twenty-Five - - Deep Down Feelings Rob, still at the Safari Park, recalls the mining accident in Zambia that left him with a permanent cough after he was in a cave-in 4.5 miles down a copper mine.
Chapter Twenty-Six - - AMERICAN ENGLISH Rob in Nashville has a light hearted excusrion into the differences between US and UK English.
Chapter Twenty-Seven - - JET PLANES AND PINES Rob takes Sara to Scotland to show her a US Air Force fighter jet parked in a pine forest - but it has gone.
Chapter Twenty-Eight - - STUNT RIDER Rob relates a horrific accident he had on his motorbike, crashing through the sides of an empty box van, and surviving (of course) with broken legs.
Chapter Twenty-Nine - - A MYSTERY REMAINS Rob seeks to solve the mystery of the US fighter plane in the pine forest, but draws a blank.
Chapter Thirty - - ONE SMALL MISTAKE - Rob is on his way to his son's garage when he is hit side-on by a 40 ton juggernaut at the traffic lights. In hospital it doesn't look good, the family prepares for the worst. Rob pulls through to finish this book!

I think that about sums it up....


BC

<Added>

moved to the top and added to the actual "synopsis"

BC

NMott at 09:19 on 17 October 2007  Report this post
Ah, now I much prefer it in that format :)

You are still going to have to lose the 3rd person. As Cornelia pointed out, you can't go referring to yourself as Rob when it's a memoir.
Also you need to scrap the 'Rob remembers...reminds Rob of the time when' - it just doesn't sound proffessional, and the descriptions loose their punch with those bits included.
You are good at the 'blurb-style', and that is what is needed after each chapter title (- I like the chapter titles by the way :) )
eg:
Rob. redundant, with time on his hands and money in the bank, goes to do a season at a Safari Park, for the fun of it - BONGOS are not drums - they are a bovine wild animal - he has a comical incident with them.
- cut to the punchline: BONGOS are not drums - they are wild and dangerous/unpredictable animals [- he has a comical incident with them.] - Replace that last bit with one or two blurb-style lines which 'gives a taste of', or sums up, the comical incident.

I'm guessing here, but in a non-fiction proposal, I'd go for a line or two of summary (which you've got) and a hook for each chapter.
You also need to include a paragraph giving an overview of the whole thing, a bit like the first half of the paragraph you've got at the top of the page, saying who you are, and giving dates and places that ar covered in the memoir - but, as I said before, you'd need the advice of a non-fiction writer to tell yo what else you need to include in it.


- NaomiM


BobCurby at 14:33 on 17 October 2007  Report this post
Thanks for that - I don't know what to do about the third person/first person aspect.

To repeat what I've said before, I chose the name that most people called me at school because there were a lot of Steve's, Rob. Now, 30 chapters have been written, all with ROB as the MC. I tried to change to 1st person and it will take me two to three weeks (of the time I can allow) just to edit that aspect, if I am lucky - because it isn't a simple matter of FIND & REPLACE becasue of words in the text like ROBot, ROBber, ROBe, wardROBe, and so on. There's also the aspect of changing ROB'S to MY. with equal problems.

However the point has been taken....


Bob

BobCurby at 00:45 on 01 December 2007  Report this post
ROB no longer exists in the book Let Sleeping Lions Lie... --- it has been converted to the FIRST person so now I write about myself - the chapter list at the top of this page is also now in the 1st person.

I hope this appears to be better than before?

Steve


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