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My New Years Resolution

by Jordan789 

Posted: 10 September 2007
Word Count: 100
Summary: Tough squeeze!


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I don’t know myself as well as I should, and the serious personal flaws I do recognize, I simply label as “character.” Smoking, then, is my only vice.

I chew gum.

My wife asks, Take out the trash?— No.

Two minutes later, I feel bad; I blame nicotine.

Weeks pass.

We take a long car ride to visit her mother. I count the tenths of miles. I know that smoking will eventually kill me (the doctor’s words, not mine), but —maybe life without cigarettes isn’t really life at all--and I pull off the interstate, and into the rest stop.






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Comments by other Members



tiger_bright at 06:49 on 11 September 2007  Report this post
Hi Jordan, I loved the way you show the addiction/nicotine changing the man's character - that "No" is response to her request for the bins to be taken out, spoke volumes. At the end, I'd have liked something a little more definite to account for his apparent change of heart - maybe the mother-in-law is dying? Either that or a Too Late slamdunk of an ending as his car goes under a truck. Just me, I'm sure, so feel free to ignore!

Tiger

Forbes at 18:44 on 11 September 2007  Report this post
Hi Jordan

Weeks pass.
and still no trash taken out?!!

A neat story about a weak personality; blaming his short comings on the weed. An easy cop out.

TFR

Forbes




titania177 at 20:09 on 11 September 2007  Report this post
Hi Jordan,
a simple yet full drabble with so much going on between the lines. Blaming the nicotine, can't stop... where will it lead him? Nicely understated.

Tania

bjlangley at 00:12 on 12 September 2007  Report this post
Hi Jordan, this works well, says a great deal in only 100 words.

Not too sure about those first couple of lines - "I don't know myself as well as I should" seems like something that needs to be explored more, but simply isn't possible with something this length.

All the best,

Ben

choille at 22:48 on 13 September 2007  Report this post
Hi Jordan,

Only vice smoking, but all these 'personal flaws' are labeled character - so he has a bit of self awareness.

I don't know that he wants to go see his MIL - all that counting the tenths of miles - the thought of not smoking - does he pull in to top himself or to delay the MIL visit? - quite ambiguous.

Liked him driving & mulling things over.
Nice flash - in so few words.

All the best
Caroline.

Prospero at 13:50 on 15 September 2007  Report this post
Hi Jordan

An interesting piece about a man in denial. Gives you one of his vices to chew on, but doesn't address his real problems which of course he would deny having anyway. Neat piece of psychological writing.

Best

John

tractor at 08:47 on 16 September 2007  Report this post
Jordan,

liked the way the addiction ruffles your character's conscience only to the point he chews gum. I read him pulling over to have a cigarette, because life only had meaning with nicotine in it.

Cheers


Mark


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