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Dilemma

by FizzdeBrooke 

Posted: 30 September 2007
Word Count: 326
Summary: The heavenly realm is divided over what to do with the 30-year-old crisis.


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How many angels could fit on the head of a needle? The archangel, Michael, flew and pondered through the heavens, saddened by the lonely faces of all the women in their thirties. More than he could ever remember.

“My Lord?” Michael said.

“The heavenly realm is not to intervene,” God said. “I know how it saddens you … but they must find contentment in more than their female counterparts.”

Michael sighed. “Yes, my Lord.” He bowed, turned and sullenly left the presence of the almighty.

With so few living their lives in faith, and even fewer with no chance of hearing the truth, how could these women ever find contentment? It was a harsh decision. But it wasn’t one everyone shared.

Michael gathered up shards of hope, faith and truth from a long row of clear boxes. Searching around with his eyes, he pulled from his cloak, long needles that glowed green with love which he’d brewed in secret. If he was caught, he knew it would be the end of his three-million-year term as head angel.

But Michael knew he had to do something, regardless of the consequences. He stood at the door that led to the world, considering the enormity of his actions. He wasn’t just 3-million-years-old; he was 3 million and 31 – not too dissimilar to the women in the world.

He pulled his cloak tight around his body, sinking his head into his cowl, and sighed heavy with burden. This was wrong. Michael knew it. But a human’s life is precious … and short – too short. Finding a soul mate meant everything to some. Man was not meant to live alone, and so too women.

The door slid back, and the head of all the angels shot shards of hope, faith and truth to the human race. And, for a few – perhaps more than he dared – he threw invisible needles of love into the hearts of the lonely.










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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 23:54 on 30 September 2007  Report this post
I read this through merely for the enjoyment of the brain boiling act. I may come up with some crits and picks later but as you are as mad as a wonky monkey's donkey, I'll just express my appreciation for now.

Careful with those matches.....

Prospero at 07:05 on 01 October 2007  Report this post
Hi Chris

Very interesting and intriguing.

Any special reason you chose green as the colour of love. It is the colour of the Heart chakra so I wonder do you have involvement with Reiki or similar practices?

I was also intrigued by the fact that you recognise that a lack of appreciation of faith and truth is behind the discontent in so many peoples lives. This is very true and is driving people to seek a deeper understanding of life, the universe, and everything.

Thanks for an enjoyable read.

Best

Prosp

Account Closed at 07:32 on 01 October 2007  Report this post
I thought this was actually rather moving and enjoyed it. Would like it to carry on, please!

:))

A
xxx

FizzdeBrooke at 10:21 on 01 October 2007  Report this post
Wow, thanks everyone.

I chose green because I like green. I don't practise Reiki or similar. I do have a creed though, but I'm not a preacher, so I'll keep you guessing.

I think this story could be turned into a longer one, perhaps a short story rather than flash. Then I might try and send it to a few competitions - and see what happens.

Now, where did I leave those matches? My head's cooling down - I need enlightenment.

V`yonne at 11:02 on 01 October 2007  Report this post
Fizz, I loved green as the colour of love too. Now, if you look at the time on my first read you'll see why I didn't leave a more considered message.

Now

I loved the ist sentence - good hook.

This was ambiguous and ambiguous is good but I just wondered
but they must find contentment in more than their male counterparts.”

which meanings did you have in mind here...

Prosp is SO right about the emptiness you portray here. It grounds the story from a flight of fantasy to deep truths and that is fantastic.

This reminded me of the Prometeus myth and I love that story.
But Michael knew he had to do something, regardless of the consequences. He stood at the door that led to the world, considering the enormity of his actions.


I thought the end was a bit, not diappointing, no, "flabby" would it be?

This phrase for example lacks the resonnance of the rest of the writing
to many people

To all the world? To the lonely? To...?

for a few – perhaps a few
Two fews too close? and

invisible needles of love in the hearts of men and women.


I thought "into" the hearts would read so much better for the style of the piece and perhaps mankind or humankind instead of
men and women.
It sounds so much larger, you know? Reminds us at the end, you are dealing with big stuff here....and you are.... and WELL DONE.

I enjoyed it twice!!!
Oonah




FizzdeBrooke at 12:49 on 01 October 2007  Report this post
I've edited it.

Thanks for taking the time to read it again. I really do appreciate it.

Just to pick up on your points:

which meanings did you have in mind here...


Which meaning(s) did you think of?







V`yonne at 15:08 on 01 October 2007  Report this post
but they must find contentment in more than their male counterparts.”


Well you could mean their female counterparts or the DIY I had in the title (I took it to be that) or religion...nuns you know... or maybe naughty, naughty Michael had a bit of DIY of his own in mind apart from the green needle variety. Seems like the type of archangel who could spread the love around a bit.

If I missed one you'll let me know.... :)

FizzdeBrooke at 15:37 on 01 October 2007  Report this post
I see what you mean. I meant female counterparts. Well, I did write it quickly. I'll edit that too.

V`yonne at 16:43 on 01 October 2007  Report this post
No don't edit everything we say... It was kinda interesting to play with the different ideas. The reader has to bring their own interpretation that way. It's perfect show not tell really! If you say all of that could be true, then you make the thing more expansive - you see? All I was saying was that I liked it!

FizzdeBrooke at 17:10 on 01 October 2007  Report this post
I see. Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.

ireneintheworld at 21:44 on 01 October 2007  Report this post
chris i liked this but i did feel it was a bit preachy. i was wondering what this would be like from another pov; either another angel, either for or against...or, from god's side as he watches michael fall.

i thought the writing was wonderful. i think it's worth developing.

irene

FizzdeBrooke at 22:03 on 01 October 2007  Report this post
Thanks irene. I like to think of it as thought-provoking rather than preachy. I mean, those with a strong creed might feel it is blasphemous.

rmol1950 at 10:11 on 06 October 2007  Report this post
Fizz
I think this is moving, and a real feat of imagination. Well done.
Best wishes
Richard


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