Login   Sign Up 



by viky7258 

Posted: 08 October 2003
Word Count: 250
Summary: Beginners group exercise

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

With my eyes closed I took a step forward. My bare foot easily crushed the neatly cut grass stems beneath it, each blade worked its way up and through the gaps in my toes, I wiggled them and enjoyed the sensation it bought. The suns rays fell upon my body, warming its surface with its touch. I took another step forward, enjoying my sudden found freedom, and I spread my arms as the wind gently blew, tugging ever so softly at my clothes. Wisps of my hair tickled my face, my whole body quivered. My skin tingled I felt the surface change; goose bumps rose up and the hairs stood to attention like tiny soldiers ready to fight. I smoothed the strands back behind an ear and then moved forward another step. It was at this point that I opened my eyes ever so slightly. My eyes strained at the sudden exposure to the brightness. I had stopped moving as this was as far as I needed to go. The texture change from grass to concrete had symbolised this for me. I wanted to jump for joy, my body was suddenly overwhelmed with energy, and I could feel it probing my body looking for an exit, and when it found none I could no longer contain it, I shouted and whooped for joy. I mustíve looked pretty strange, but if anyone had noticed the wheelchair a few steps behind me, they would have known why I was so suddenly ecstatic.

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

Anna Reynolds at 13:52 on 09 October 2003  Report this post
viky7258, this is a nicely written, moving piece- surprising jolt at the end which works really well. You've really paid attention to the tiny details of surfaces and textures, which all stand out with their variety. A thought; i think it's stronger without 'It was at this point....' as you're signposting something too obviously; you don't need it. You could say, for example, 'Then I opened...' or something similiar- and watch out for a lot of repetition of the word 'this'. Really lovely, and look forward to seeing more of your work.

To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .