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Dear Fear

by dr_mandrill 

Posted: 08 October 2003
Word Count: 196
Summary: Wanting not to get over losing somebody in case they disappear. I've tried to make loss into a character in it's own right.


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Thanks for stopping by to see me
In those quiet moments at work.
Reassuring to know
That when my in-tray's clear
You'll be there to twist the knife.

And thanks
For creeping up behind me and teasing
His photo from my wallet while I waited to pay.
The pain made me sick as he fluttered to the ground
And I felt lucky to have you.

I'm sorry I lost you in the park.
The cold light and the leaves I kicked up
Were all perfect, really.
I'm glad you found me by the gates and screamed
That forgetting him was unforgiveable.
I'm glad you walked me home and made me listen
While you listed what was gone.
Your memory is infallible for the details.
It felt better to be hurting on the last good day of autumn
When the weak sun couldn't show me his hair.

Most of all thanks for the nights.
It makes it so much easier, knowing
That you'll be waiting for me on her side of the bed
To hold me in your frozen arms.
I look forward to the brittle kiss you give
As I wake
And realise he's not there.






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Comments by other Members



Nell at 07:23 on 09 October 2003  Report this post
Hi DM,

I've tried to make loss into a character in it's own right.

And you've succeeded wonderfully. This sent shivers down my spine. Loved the line about her hair and could almost see her. You've captured those feelings perfectly.

Best, Nell.




Noodles at 10:51 on 09 October 2003  Report this post
Dear dr,

Nell said it best.

It's powerful, very moving, stirring and so well written.

All best

Noodles

Ioannou at 15:43 on 09 October 2003  Report this post
This works. Some parts of it are so full of loss. The photo being teased out and falling. And the idea of wanting to keep the loss, so as not to lose everything completely. And of sorting of getting to 'like' the loss. At least better than nothing. Love, Maria.

Sparrow_splitter at 16:45 on 09 October 2003  Report this post
Liked this poem a lot, although it could do with some light comic relief in the middle.

Fearless at 18:13 on 09 October 2003  Report this post
Doc

I think many of us identify with this. You sing a bittersweet song brother, we know it well.....

Fearless

poemsgalore at 18:44 on 09 October 2003  Report this post
Yes, you've definitely made a real person out of the sense of loss. Makes the poem really stand out.

Ticonderoga at 21:34 on 10 October 2003  Report this post


Incredibly true, fine and moving.

Thanks,

Mike

spud at 12:41 on 12 October 2003  Report this post
Dear DM

Having recently lost someone myself I really appreciate the sentiment in your poem. It is so very true, quite achingly so at times.

please keep posting

cheers

Spud

Bibsy at 16:37 on 12 October 2003  Report this post
I really really like this poem,as it captures the feeling of lost love so vividly. Each paragraph is a separate snapshot in a sad movie...

Definitely one of my favourites - thanks Doctor!

Viv


dr_mandrill at 23:44 on 20 October 2003  Report this post
Thankyou very much everybody.

An earlier draft of this leant a bit more towards resenting the loss-goblin type character. But I really thought about it and realised that wouldn't be as real. Sometimes we just wrap ourselves up in pain and grief like a blanket. I'm glad so many people liked it.


dm

roovacrag at 13:06 on 21 December 2003  Report this post
A loss is losing someone you wanted or loved. never be afraid to show your passion in a poem.Gets rid of the hurt,never goes away. XXAL


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