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Fishing Ground
Posted: 23 February 2008
Word Count: 75
Summary: Week 190 challenge
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Gold fish skim water their open mouths scooping up minute particles while the cat, black like an ebony statue, crouches on a white boulder, her motionless body blocking out sunlight upon her fishing ground.
Suddenly with claws extended, her green eyes narrowing, she plunges a paw beneath the surface scattering fish under a lily pad, its pink blossom quivering while others dart to the bottom from where debris billows upwards forming a dense brown cloud.
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 Forbes at 14:33 on 23 February 2008
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Hi Jennifer
nice feel to this...but dare I suggest it it not yet a flash, but one of those vinegar-y things!!! Ask Prosp, he'll tell you! That said, I loved the quiet feel to this, there was something very soothing about the scene - well perhaps not for the fish!
Cheers
Avis
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Jumbo at 14:46 on 23 February 2008
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Jennifer
Great images and choice of language.
Loved
| while the cat, black like an ebony statue, crouches on a white boulder |
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... a great picture!
Nicely done.
Not quite a flash?? Not sure why!!
Cheers ... and thanks for the read
john
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tusker at 14:58 on 23 February 2008
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Hi Avis and John,
I know it's very short. Only came up with it an hour ago out of desperation and after seeing next door's cat prowling around our little pond. Thank you both for reading and commenting.
Jennifer
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 Prospero at 12:25 on 25 February 2008
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Hi Jennifer
This is not a Flash, but a fragment.
It is almost a prose poem, it feels like a Haiku.
You could possibly make it a Flash, by having the cat taking up position, waiting its chance, missing the catch and becoming motionless again while it waits for the fish to forget it is there. The colours and images are beautiful, you just need a beginning and an end to complement your middle.
Best
Prosp
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tusker at 14:33 on 25 February 2008
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Thanks John. I've asked Avis if I can cheat over on Flash 2 and make it longer for their challenge. Can't seem to come up with much these past days and when i do, they seem a bit bland.
Jennifer
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