Attention Whore by Ambitions of Lisa

Site Search

The Random Read

Alan Allen by PaulaBlake

WriteWords Experts

Expert Comments

Need help?

Speak to a

Site Host

New Members

ACTwrite (15/3)

Zero (15/3)

ZeroDegrees (15/3)

MPA Steph (15/3)

Ruskinite (15/3)

Your Experience?

Sent your work out?
We'd like to hear from any authors who have sent work to publishers or agents. Post your comments under the appropriate entry in the WriteWords Directory

Friends
Visual Art Jobs Secondhand Books

Attention Whore

Posted: 26 February 2008
Word Count: 179
Summary: Social networking sites - observation :D

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

Content Warning
This piece and/or subsequent comments may contain strong language.

She sits, twirling a piece of her hair
Reading the comments
In her adult picture gallery
“Gorgeous tits!”
“I wish I could lick you!”

Smiling she replies,
“Thank you, but I’m just average”
“Really? You’re making me blush”
As she moves from the computer
Taking more pictures

She can’t get enough
Of the horny attention
The men who want to fuck her
The bi girls who admire her body
Is she the best on the site?

Click! Another picture
Deleted! It makes her look fat
She takes another,
From a different angle, softer light
A cheeky nipple, erect

Uploading, she bites her lip
Waits moments for a comment
“Can I see your pussy?”
“I’m playing with myself over you!”
Encouraged she takes more

What if someone she knows sees her?
How will she explain
Nude pictures, rude comments
Even the odd dildo video
Quite the little porn star

Deep down she knows
They look at others,
Say things to see the bits they want
For a quick fix of cyber fun
But it boosts her self esteem, for now.

Comments by other Members

Posted by : joanie at 19:41 on 26 February 2008

Hi Lisa! So that's what goes on!! Great observation without judgement. The last line is very poignant and exactly what this piece is about, I think!

I enjoyed the read and the very vivid images.

joanie

Posted by : J1mbo at 11:44 on 27 February 2008

This is a stong poem, with a vivid sense of character. I agree with the effectiveness of your non-judgemental point of view. There is a real sense of naughtiness in the fact that this is a private action that those close to her seem to know nothing about.

I like 'she bites her lip / Waits moments for a comment'. This really ties the woman's sense of arousal with her need for attention, her anticipation for feedback.

Posted by : James Graham at 15:15 on 27 February 2008

I agree - the quality that comes over is, as Joanie says, great observation without judgement. There are some who would tut-tut and frown at something like this, but there's more than enough empathy and humour in your poem to give them pause. I like the last line, which is one of those closing lines that makes us read the poem again, and colours the second reading slightly. It makes us more sympathetic, we take her more seriously.

James.

Posted by : V`yonne at 16:14 on 27 February 2008

That is powerful stuff and I loved

She can’t get enough
Of the horny attention
The men who want to fuck her
The bi girls who admire her body
Is she the best on the site?

which emphisises so well that this is about her needs not theirs and the question of whether she is the best on the site which plays nicely into the last line. The curse of low self esteem...

Excellent.

Oonah

Read the WriteWords interview with Oonah Joslin (V`yonne)

Posted by : Ambitions of Lisa at 13:41 on 29 February 2008

So glad I didn't offend anyone here. I wrote it and wasn't sure about uploading it, but did so during a 'brave' moment.

Thank you all for the positive comments, and for interpreting the poem as it was meant.

Lisa
:)

Posted by : Elsie at 00:27 on 01 March 2008

Hi Lisa
Sorry to be so late to respond.

There's nice interaction between the girly-innocent hair twirling at the beginning and what's going on.

Elsie

Posted by : Tina at 09:08 on 01 March 2008

Hi Lisa

I smiled at this!!! Do you think I should rush out and buy a webcam?? Perhaps not!!
Very cheecky stuff - (actually I typed stiff first time!!!)
OOOPPPS!
thanks
Tina

Posted by : Ambitions of Lisa at 13:14 on 06 March 2008

Haha Tina....that was appropriate :D
Lx

Posted by : Ticonderoga at 14:51 on 06 March 2008

Have been trying to read this for days - but, I only have access at the library just now & they censored this, by blocking it. Tut!
Too late to add anything useful, I can only agree with all the compliments paid so far. I'm not sure I'd say I 'enjoyed' it, but I mean that as a compliment.....I became involved in it and felt I'd been given a real insight into some of the whys and wherefores of on-line activity; ultimately, very sad and deeply affecting.

Best,

Mike

To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .

Other work by Ambitions of Lisa:

...view all work by Ambitions of Lisa


		Writing Courses We offer one-to-one email correspondence courses. Visit our writing courses section.