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Amitriptaline city

by pene 

Posted: 14 October 2003
Word Count: 225
Summary: my interpritation of a medication I took a few years ago, thankfully I dont anymore!!!!


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Amitriptaline city where the girls are so pretty
and the boys are all macho or gay.
Where day turns to night and all of your sight
is grey, black or white,
and you dont want to fight, you feel safe with your life
until the next day.

Amitriptaline city where your mouths all sticky
and your tounges as dry as a bone.
Where your heads a shed and you wanna stay inbed,
at least until the cows come home.
You dont want to talk, you can barely even walk,
maybe cos you got no brain?

Amitriptaline city where life is pretty shitty
where your ego comes gift wrapped in self pity,
where your never quite sure if you walked this path before,
where your memory evades you and you hope you aint stir crazy!

When you long to heal the pain seems things remain much the same.
So those prescribed yellow pills that doctor says will ease your ills,
are a government promotion
some white collar implemented commotion
to control and to contain all those who suffer in the brain.

My advice to those who want it, listen up and I will tell,
Amitriptaline city is more like patronising pity,
an ordered prescribed solution with satan in collusion?
A veritable oppression, a 24/7 365 day life lesson,
an all consuming, stupor like inducing Amitriptaline hell!






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Comments by other Members



olebut at 17:54 on 14 October 2003  Report this post
pene

what an emotive poem I am so glad I have never been anywhere near this city and I sure havent missed out on many.

I make a few minor suggestions

The poem starts of much like Molly Malone ( as she wheeled her wheel barrow) but then changes its meter is this deliberate?

also perhpas the following may help the general flow without chnaging the meaning

line 11 try it without 'even' the penultimate word in the line

line 13 try replacing pretty with so
line 14 try removing gift
line 15 try removing stir
line 16 try removing seems and much

thnak you for being brave enough to share it with us

take care as always

David


Ellenna at 19:04 on 14 October 2003  Report this post
This poem really shows how stuff is doled out to solve things..ha!..but it looks like there is light in your life now:)
Ellie ..

Zigeroon at 15:05 on 07 January 2005  Report this post

Sounds like the first few pills took you through the nicer side of the city, uplifting, almost, then into a deeper depression. Strange how even legal drugs take their toll. A deeper low maybe because the aspiration was for healing not enjoyment.

An honest trip to the dark side.

Good one.

Andrew




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