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Sketch Writers

by Sketch Writer 

Posted: 28 May 2008
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I've received the following from a commissioning editor at Channel 4

"Sorry for taking sooooo long to get back to you. I’m not doing a flattering brush off when I say this is really inventive and packed with great ideas….but….reckon it’s still too hard a sell as E4 got a bit of a cash freeze and not doing anything else this year other than stuff already in the pipeline. Have you any sketch show ideas up your sleeve….that’s all there’s an appetite for at the minute. Sorry fella, it’s bastard tough at the moment."

The script I sent was a conversion of sketch material I had but what I am looking for it to take the best of my sketches and add them with some other brilliant comedy sketches from writers on this site as I know there are many superb writers here.

I would like to find another 1-4 writers, to form a group who are (approx) 20-30 years old, as the idea of acting out your own material has always been something I would love to do.

I will paste below a few examples of my work so that you can see the tone I am looking for, which I believe is something between strange and edgy and on the fringe of what you can get away with, BUT it must be broadcastable.

Once the writers have been chosen I will put the group’s material into a straight sketch show format and then send the show back to the editor but I will also send the script to other companies who may find it of interest.

One of my most important abilities is sourcing, that is a big part of what I do. I have two companies, an illustration design company and a local building company and they both rely on me being inventive and able to find a constant influx of work, which I do. Before I had my own businesses I worked for a building company where I had to source materials and contacts and in the years I worked there I learnt a lot about tracking things through the internet and I would say I am very good at getting in touch with the people I need to, so once we have a completed script I will do my best to bring it to the attention of the right people.

Anyone interested in being involved please submit the sketches you think best below. If you have any questions please ask here or contact me by PM

Best regards


Sketch One: Obsessive Compulsion Disorder

INT: Doctors room

(to husband)
Sir, it seems your wife a condition called Obsessive Compulsion Disorder. It is this that has been causing her to feel the urge to switch every light in the house on and off 5 times, due to the irrational fear of death if she doesn’t. Once she gets an idea in her head, no matter how absurd, she is unable to stop her compulsions

Husband slowly turns and looks at his wife in shock

Its true

Wife breaks down and cries

(to Doctor)
Can it be cured?

I am afraid not, there is no cure

Husband turns slowly back to wife

(Begins slowly)
You knowwwww…if you don’t av sex with me five times aday you’ll die!

Wife stops crying and looks up in shock

(Continues and quickly drops in)
And if there’s no anal
Husband pulls a frown
…the kids

Husband draws his finger across his throat

Wife looks stunned

The Doctor looks shocked but very slowly raises two approving thumbs
Scene end

Sketch Two: Judge Kev

Int: Courtroom

A very large, hairy tattooed man is stood in the dock of a court room. He is making a nasty menace of himself, swearing out loud, threatening the guards next to him and taunting the grieving relatives of his victims

The court is asked to become silent as the old wise looking Judge passes sentence

Judge Kev
For the heinous crimes committed by you, Mr Mark Hittal on July 12th 2007 of murdering Miss Brown, Miss Siian, Mr and Mrs Kelly, Master Young, and the rape of Miss Sarah Closes, Sally Wright and Margaret Sales
plus the near death of Mr Bob
(pause again)
(said quietly and almost inaudibly)
Gimp…I sentence you to……………………….

Cut to the Accused snarling, looking totally unbothered by what he will be sent down for

Judge Kev
I sentence you to ……..be Ginger

Cut to the Accused

The Accused

The grieving relatives jump up in delight and cheer as if this is the worst sentence he could have received. The court is full of applause as the Accused is dragged away wailing, screaming and crying

<Sketch Ends>

Also, it would be of interest if you could introdue yourself a little in the paragraph before your sketch starts.

Please make sure all material submitted has been written by yourself, not by somebody else or with somebody else unless you are submitting as a partnership.

There is a lot of good stuff coming through but I will be keeping the group small and I am looking to get this done by the end of the week so anyone who is interested and has not posted anything or contacted me yet, please do so before Sunday 1st June.

If you would like to contact me directly by email you can at info@evansvisualarts.com

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Comments by other Members

NMott at 18:44 on 28 May 2008  Report this post
Hi, I find one in ten sketches that I write work (for me, anyway), the rest are rarely worth keeping. I'd suggest you try writing another eight.

- NaomiM


Erm, that was tongue in cheek, btw. Good luck with the sketch writing. :)

Sketch Writer at 22:23 on 28 May 2008  Report this post
Thanks lol

Comedy is a hard one cos humour varies so much, what one person finds funny the next person hates, me and my wife have completely different tastes in comedy. I really like Family Guy, she hates it

NMott at 00:52 on 29 May 2008  Report this post
what one person finds funny the next person hates

That's very true, sketch writer
I like Family Guy too - and South Park has it's moments - but spend half the time cringing between laughs.
Eddie Izzard is probably my favorite comedian at the moment (even if he has jumped ship into TV drama), but I'll admit I'm still a Jasper Carrot fan.

- NaomiM

Sketch Writer at 00:55 on 29 May 2008  Report this post
Jasper was the first comedian I really laughed at, good old brummie (well Solihull but close enough)

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