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Random Moments

by tusker 

Posted: 10 June 2008
Word Count: 141
Summary: Flash 2 challenge


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Droplets of saliva, caught by the sun, glisten and spin as a rough, ragged ball plummets from high, bouncing down onto grass, bending tender, green spears, allowing perfect, oval indentations to stretch an erratic course into raspberry canes that shudder, shaking white blossoms, scattering pollen onto a Bumble Bee's back, coating its tiny black hairs in a pale yellow dusting.

Startled, two Guinea Fowl, their small, ugly faces painted white, leap and screech with indignant distress, their old maiden's necks protruding from grey, speckled feathers that conceal flesh almost ready for the dinner table.

Stroking her liver coloured head, the retrieved ball is dropped onto a splat of goose shit and brown,earnest hope gazes up at me. Fondling her soft, floppy ear, I leave a fusion of warm, organic smells to enter a blessed but temporary silence stuffed full with foetidness.






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Comments by other Members



tiger_bright at 17:30 on 10 June 2008  Report this post
Hi Jennifer, loved the description of the guinea fowl - I could really see and hear them. Abd the underlying notion that all this is preparation for something else, the meal, changing seasons, time passing. Nicely done. Not sure about "foetidness" - is that the old spelling of fetidness?

Tiger

tusker at 18:55 on 10 June 2008  Report this post
Hi Sarah, I suppose it is. It's a personal description of a few pleasant, moments to a start of my day before I begin the task of caring; showering, preparing food, cleaning and medication etc. I found, personally, Oonah's challenge daunting but she made me think. Thinking is good.

Jennifer

Prospero at 19:57 on 10 June 2008  Report this post
Hi Jennifer

You thunk good. You took me to the place and time you had in your mind and made me welcome there. I thank you.

John

V`yonne at 23:24 on 10 June 2008  Report this post
That is a rich soup you've brewed there, Jennifer. Well done, girl. Beautifullt tight writing. Glad I made you think

Forbes at 23:51 on 10 June 2008  Report this post
Lovely stuff this, Jennifer. I liked it lots. Wonderful Descriptions, and a hell of a beginning sentence!

Cheers

Avis

Nella at 06:30 on 11 June 2008  Report this post
I had a hard time with this on the first read, Jennifer. That first sentence rather boggled me. But upon reading again, this morning, with a clearer mind, I could see and feel that moment that you were experiencing. You captured that moment.
Best,
Robin

tusker at 06:50 on 11 June 2008  Report this post
Thanks John, Oonah, Avis and Robin.

Jennifer

rosiedlm at 14:54 on 14 June 2008  Report this post
That first sentence is like poetry, I can almost hear it being read to me.

This is a lovely description of something everyday and ordinary and it left me feeling comforted and relaxed. Thank-you,

Rosie


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