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Job Interview

by adamesmith 

Posted: 19 June 2008
Word Count: 240
Summary: A wee piece I wrote after a recent hiking trip in order to enter Waterstones' "What's your story?" competition - entries had to fit on an A5 piece of card. I'm interested to see if it works!


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“Maybe some ewes do have horns. Some women have moustaches.”
I could see Robbie’s logic. It didn’t answer my question, but then, I hadn’t answered his yet. The sheep chewed indifferently. We set off again, towards the tree line. The forest enlivened us, Robbie especially so. He bounded along the trail, breathing in the cool, fragrant air. I was just relieved by the shade. I tramped along, gazing up at the trees. When I glanced down at the map I called, “Veer left, Robbie,” though it seemed he would have been happy to follow his own path.
Robbie took the curve then paused without turning. When I reached him he said, “You know, William, I could live among the trees.”
“It’s… safe,” I breathed in.
“But,” his eyes grew concerned. “There are still starving people outside. We have homes, maps with trails – and yet there’s injustice. People still suffer.”
I swallowed; I didn’t want him to have to ask again.
Silently we continued along the trail; I kept an eye on the map. We came to a clearing where I stood beside Robbie looking over the hills and made up my mind. There were lots of things to be unsure about, but suffering wasn’t one of them.
Robbie squinted in the sunlight then pulled over his hood to shade his eyes.
“You’ve caught the sun,” he said. “Your neck’s scarlet, Will.”
He took off, and I followed closely behind.






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Comments by other Members



Nik Perring at 16:00 on 20 June 2008  Report this post
Interesting, and fun, little flash, this. Yes, I' d say it works.

Good luck with the comp.

Nik

adamesmith at 16:19 on 20 June 2008  Report this post
Cheers Nik!

Katerina at 08:59 on 25 June 2008  Report this post
Sorry, but it left me feeling a bit puzzled. We have different things going on here. First this -

It didn’t answer my question, but then, I hadn’t answered his yet


What questions?

I swallowed I didn’t want him to have to ask again


Ask what again? I' d like to know what' s really going on here.

Then we have the other thing about people suffering etc.

I' m not sure I get what this is about.

Kat x

adamesmith at 11:28 on 25 June 2008  Report this post
Hi Kat,

Thanks for the comments sorry you were puzzled. The story relies on implication - obviously there' s not enough, resulting in the problems you had.

Robbie' s opening answer and the narrator' s subsequent comment suggest that the narrator asked a question to do with ewes and horns (which, of course, the story isn' t actually about). From Robbie' s answer, the question must have been, "Do ewes have horns?" Really, the answer is a ruse into mentioning that the narrator hadn' t answered Robbie' s question which, as the story builds, I had hoped would become clearer. It' s implied that Robbie has asked Will (the narrator) to join him in fighting suffering/poverty. Once the reader gets to the end and realises that the characters are in fact Robin Hood and his colleague Will Scarlett, I hoped this would become clear (hence the title, too).

It' d be interesting to hear what other people think, but it might be that I should revisit to see whether the implications need strengthening.

Thanks for helping,

Adam.



Katerina at 12:18 on 25 June 2008  Report this post
Okay.

Even with this -
Robbie squinted in the sunlight then pulled over his hood to shade his eyes.
“You’ve caught the sun,” he said. “Your neck’s scarlet, Will.”
I didn' t spot the glaringly obvious. I didn' t know who they were, and I' d read it twice too!

I think possibly you do need to strengthen the implications, as here -
I swallowed I didn’t want him to have to ask again
- you are saying that Robin has asked Will (the narrator) to join him in fighting suffering/poverty.

You know that, because you wrote the story, but us readers don' t know it.

Often because writers know what' s going on in their stories, they assume that the readers will know what' s happening too, but we don' t. We are coming to it completely fresh and new, whereas you - the writer - have seen it dozens of times and know exactly what' g going on.

Kat x

<Added>

Sorry typo - what's.

adamesmith at 13:03 on 25 June 2008  Report this post
Thanks Kat - you' re right that we always know more than readers and it' s our duty to make sure we' re showing everything we need to. I wonder if other people had similar problems. I don' t want to overstate the case, though that' s the trick in such a short story.

Anyway, I' ll revisit it!

Thanks for your help,

Adam.

JRB1 at 22:21 on 14 July 2008  Report this post
I found it really intriguing and nice and easy to read. I did also get confused towards the end and wondered where it was going. I think it it better to make it more obvious towards the end that you are writing about Robin Hood. Ireally like the opening line, it' s definately a hook.


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