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Francesca Maria [1]

by degas 

Posted: 22 October 2003
Word Count: 303

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Millenium plus three and three months in
The buttered melted sky dripped into the twelth day
I awoke for the last time carefree, peaceful
Mapped and designed on a grand scale
I strategised,tantilised and played with the future
Not one dewdrop sparkled without plan;until

The call came,bolted my brain
Not meant to, not like this, not now!
Tumult tears tore my tabletop plan
Shredded, wasted. Next move, my next move? Christ!
Ring, work, Mum,Dad.Stop!
Turn, car, slow-slow-chill
Taught, the thought, terrified, stretched my veins
Swirled my blood,spilt in my head
The drumbeat body, pounding my breath
Paper lungs,squirting, squealing, spluttering
No control, muffled moan.Talk to myself.No!
Come, now, rush, race, haste, speed.Need
Help, bloody hell help!Quick, shift, swerve- shit!
Close, too close.Get out of my way!
All but there.Time, what is the time?

Whoosh!I'm here at last. Sigh-cry.Ticket
Telephone ,ticket, money,Jesus, a coin!Telephone
Shut up,Christ the ticket!Reverse, scrunch
Aaaggghhh! The gears, gored, churned
Rubber ripped ,seared tarmac, blundered braking
And half-assed parking; perfect.Let's go!

The doors greeted me with automatic silence
A manner so sterile and chaste
Goggle-eyed people staring through my skin
Knock-knock!A vacancy at Hotel Mind
Clambering up the stairwell, the lift broken
Mesmerised ,panting,ushered with an unspoken surge
To a room ,but not for waiting
Dressing me, advising me, warning me
And then, they left me, my thoughts alone
Stepping outside, a strangulated corridor
Pacing up, sitting down, clapping.Clicking
Agitated fingers until burnt raw
Suddenly summoned, scampering child-like
An aching nerve, I skip on, stage left
Eleven and counting,gadgets and gossip
All around whispering in protected language

Ordered I sit, courage in hand,I dare to let
Eyes bump, flicker my wife, the gesture to
Masked below,incision, insertion
The grasp ,the wrench, the pull, the pop
Out she jumps, faultless, flawless beauty
Ruined my plan ,could not wait,six weeks early!

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