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Lady Moon

by spud 

Posted: 26 October 2003
Word Count: 117
Summary: One for the girls...


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Lady Moon is a cruel mistress
Casting me adrift in a vessel full of woe
Mapless
Rudderless
Just stars for navigation
Compassless
Comfortless
Which way should I go?

Lady Moon orchestrates my distress
Brooding up a storm on a temperamental sea
Harbourless
Shelterless
Iíve a shipload of emotion
Ropeless
Hopeless
What will become of me?

Lady Moon celebrates my anguish
Churning through the spume fuelled tides that drag me down
Breathless
Sightless
Engulfed in trepidation
Senseless
Lifeless
What can I do but drown?

Lady Moon at last begins to languish
Wearying of her sport she grants me my release
Day breaks
Calm wakes
Crimson seeps through the horizon
Shore bound
Peace found
I float home aboard relief.










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Comments by other Members



The Walrus at 21:00 on 26 October 2003  Report this post
One for the girls? Hmmm.... at the hands of some brutal ones maybe... perhaps you should have entitled this 'The Black Widow'?

Well written though Spud. Enjoyed it and, do, sympathise.

The Walrus

Bobo at 08:36 on 27 October 2003  Report this post
Hi Spud -

A very powerful piece with great rhythm. In the last verse I think 'weary' instead of 'wearying' might work better, but just a personal preference so feel free to ignore.

Really enjoyed this - wondered what your inspiration was...?

BoBo x

spud at 08:56 on 27 October 2003  Report this post
Hi The Walrus and Bobo.

Thanks for taking the time to read this piece and also for your kind comments.

Bobo - I've run 'wearying' and 'weary' around my brain for a while and, although I like your suggestion, I'm going to stick with mine (but I might change my mind later!) as it ties in with the previous stanzas.

Wasn't sure if you really didn't know what my inspiration was - I'm either being a bit dense or a bit too subtle. In case it's the latter the following were meant to be clues...
moon (i.e.monthly)
brooding
temperamental
emotion
crimson
relief

Apologise if 'grandmother' and 'suck eggs' comes to mind..

cheers

Spud


<Added>

oops!...should be 'apologies...'

Bobo at 09:45 on 27 October 2003  Report this post
Hi Spud - that's what I figured, tho wanted to check I was on the same wave-length ( ie didn't want to take it for granted it was about 'Arsenal playing at home', as a male friend of mine likes to refer to it, if it actually wasn't! )...

BoBo
;0)
xxx

Fearless at 10:13 on 27 October 2003  Report this post
Spud

Excellent piece, and I think that the references to moon and crimson worked, at least for this dense specimen of the densest, lowest lifeform on earth (Homo Erectus Not Very Muchus)

Fearless

spud at 11:03 on 27 October 2003  Report this post
Thanks Bobo and Fearless

Bobo - Damn,'Arsenal playing at home' that's even better imagery - perhaps I ought to re-write it, something along the lines of 'Madam Gunner'.

And Fearless, I think you're being too tough on yourself. Glad you got the references though - thanks.


Spud

Tina at 18:21 on 28 October 2003  Report this post
Hi Spud
I really like this
It is the rhythm that grabs me
It could be a rap!
Or even a wrap!
Thanks really enjoy your work
Tina
x

roovacrag at 13:41 on 29 October 2003  Report this post
hey spud like it.xx

peterxbrown at 23:00 on 29 October 2003  Report this post
I really enjoyed the rythm of this poem. What an utterly brilliant use of two syllable lines , stuffed with meaning. I am very envious of..:
"Day breaks
Calm wakes
Crimson seeps through the horizon..."
Fantastic!
peterb

Ellenna at 09:13 on 30 October 2003  Report this post
Hi Spud.. spot on with this one:)

beautifully put together ...

Ellie



spud at 10:52 on 31 October 2003  Report this post
Dear all

Thank you so much for the time you've taken to read this and your very kind comments. I think of myself very much as a novice in this poetry game, so find your words really encouraging and supportive - I really do appreciate them.

Many thanks again

Spud



Tina at 17:35 on 03 November 2003  Report this post
Spud
You know what somewhat said to me when I said that I was a novice?

He said
Shout from the rooftops
I AM A POET
and you are
Thanks
Tina
x

spud at 08:01 on 04 November 2003  Report this post
Tina

Can you hear me shouting?

Thanks

Spud
;-)


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