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Sleeping

by Kipper 

Posted: 19 October 2008
Word Count: 62


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On another world,
warm as a cat,
she sleeps:
snug and sonorous,
a little sweetly grufty
in girlie pink.

In unfettered dreams
she catches angelsí feathers
as they fall;
with which to fashion
the beautiful blitzing
of another tigress day.

Touch her;
stroke her lightly
with gentle rough fingers,
whisper her wakening
with strong sweet cup-of-tea kisses:
on another world one day.







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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 17:30 on 19 October 2008  Report this post
I love some of the images here and the alliterative qualities of the writing.
In unfettered dreams
she catches angelsí feathers
as they fall;

I didn't have a clear idea of who was sleeping though - a baby girl? I'f I'm right, that's fine.

I wasn't sure about:
the beautiful blitzing
of another tigress day.

too much mixed in the metaphor.

And I wasn't sure you really needed to come back to
on another world one day.

I wasn't sure what that meant to say at the end.

I like the structure and it flows well.

Epona Love at 12:13 on 20 October 2008  Report this post
I enjoyed the images too, of angel feathers, but it did suggest a more feline character to me, catching the feathers and tigress day, stroke her... and I'm sure V'yonne is right that it is a baby girl, unless it's an older child or a woman? Which would work with the tigress image. So I found this a little confusing. I would love to hear the thought process behind these images. Is grufty a Scottish expression? Apart from my confusion, I still feel that the poem flows well.

Emma x

Bishti at 15:18 on 26 October 2008  Report this post
Hi kipper,
I think you lost your cat.
This is a very sad poem, and I can relate to it having lost my dog of 14 years in February this year.

I love 'sweet little grufty'

We just got an eight week old kitten this week and have called her Daisy. She is not a replacement for our dog, but a has life and character of her own and is very cuddly and sweet.

love from
Carol

Kipper at 21:12 on 16 March 2009  Report this post
I think I lost my tigress!
Yes, suppose it's the age-old one of getting the personal across in an accessible way: but then I like the confusion too.
Hope Daisy's a Big Strong cat now Carol.
I might get a dog.


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