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Another Day of Sky News

by hailfabio 

Posted: 07 January 2009
Word Count: 60


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Weak from the years, and
with too much baggage to
be burdened with. Joe
sat uncomfortably, with
the afternoon Sun
lighting up another dull day. His two
eroded eyes had already
taken in the day’s events.
Sadly, he had seen it all before,
and with his passage almost ready,
he knew it was time for a new generation
to suffer.






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Comments by other Members



Tina at 09:02 on 15 January 2009  Report this post
Hello Stephen

I am interested in this poem as I have been struggling myself with the prose/poem style and the fine lines between.

It encapsulates the moment in time well - I think there are a few lines where your images repeat in the wording -

Weak from the years, and
with too much baggage to
be burdened with


here you have weak/ baggage and burdened - all carrying a similar meaning but I don't think this detracts from the poem at all for me - but maybe for others?? Not sure. I enjoyed it anyway and thanks

Tina

hailfabio at 15:45 on 19 January 2009  Report this post
Thanks for commenting Tina much appreciated.

I can see how i may be repeating the same idea at the start.

Cheers
Stephen


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