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The 9.00am London to Cardiff Train

by tusker 

Posted: 21 May 2009
Word Count: 376
Summary: For flash 2's challenge: the train


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“I wonder where he’s going?” Emma muses, peeking over her newspaper at the young man wearing a white T-shirt.

He catches her glance. Emma looks away. “Nice face,” she thinks. “ Sensitive.”

Earlier, as the train pulled away from Paddington Station, Emma, pushing through the throng, had managed to find a single seat opposite her handsome fellow passenger.

Now they were leaving Swindon, the train compartment not so crowded and, facinated, she watched his long, slender fingers work nimbly at a Game Boy.

As if aware of her scrutiny, he glances up. Gives her a quick smile. Then turns his head to look out of the window, sunlight almost whitening his longish blonde hair.

“Nice eyes,” she considers, pretending disinterest. “Lovely mouth.” She blushes and tries to read her newspaper.

His knee presses against hers under the table between them. He apologies. Emma says it’s okay but thinks, “He’s trying to get my attention.” She smiles, wishing he’d start a conversation.

Later, the young man looks sideways and asks in a quiet voice, ‘Is that your scarf on the floor?’

Emma reaches for it. ‘Yes. Thank you.’ She picks it up and stuffs it into her handbag.

‘I hate the Severn Tunnel,’ he says as their train races into darkness. ‘To think we’re under the Severn Estuary. All that water above us.’

‘Claustrophobic,’ Emma agrees. Then asks, ‘Are you going to Cardiff?’

He shakes his head. ‘Newport.’

Emma feels slight disappointment. ‘I’ve a job interview.’

‘Good luck,’ he replies. ‘I’ve got some news I must break to my family.’

Emma’s interest perks up. ‘I hope it goes well.’

‘So do I.’ He shrugs.

Now the train is pulling into Newport Station. The young man rises, easing his tall slender frame out into the aisle. Looking up, Emma puts a hand over her mouth to smother a gasp.

‘Tell me honestly,’ he says, ‘Does my bum look big in this?’ He spreads his arms out, waiting for her answer.

Dumbstruck, Emma shakes her head, and he saunters off, a gold handbag slung over his shoulder. Blinking, Emma watches him alight onto the platform and move off on high heels, like a cat-walk model, towards the exit; a short, tight black skirt clinging onto his perfect, pert backside.















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Comments by other Members



jenzarina at 15:26 on 21 May 2009  Report this post
At least he can carry off the look. I hope his family don't think the gold handbag a little tacky.

Good ending, nice twist!

Bunbry at 17:30 on 21 May 2009  Report this post
Ha ha, well done Jennifer, this brought a grim to my face!

Mind you, I knew of his inclinations when I read this
she watched his long, slender fingers work nimbly at a Game Boy.


Nick

tusker at 18:05 on 21 May 2009  Report this post
You'd make a good detective Nick.

So I brought a 'grim' to your face?

Jennifer

Bunbry at 19:44 on 21 May 2009  Report this post
It's just the funny way I smile!

Many years ago I remember Tesco had a poultry promotion and the staff [mainly female] wore badges which said "Pick up a game bird in store".

Happy days...

tusker at 07:24 on 22 May 2009  Report this post
Thanks Jen for your kind comments.

Some men do have the 'look', don't they. This one is obviously going to whole hog.

Jennifer

tusker at 07:27 on 22 May 2009  Report this post
If Tescos did that now, they'd have the PC crowd onto them.

Once, when I was flogging perfume, I put an ad in the local paper, 'Wanted a man to persudae his woman...' words to that effect. You should've heard the creepy calls I had.

Needless to say, I pulled the ad out. What a naive twit I was back then.

Jennifer

Jordan789 at 16:53 on 22 May 2009  Report this post
...

Hmmm. I liked the build up to the ending. It was a nice little romantic interest thing, pleasant to read, and then the snapper happened and I thought... =( It seemed too odd and out there.

What sort of top did he have on that she wouldn't notice that and think "how strange, i own that blouse too..."; it's hard to get away with a man's work shirt and a small black skirt. I should know. Also, I wasn't sure that they were sitting across a table from one another until it said so, which came as a surprise. Maybe get that out there in the first sentence. On the trains over here, it's hard to hide one of those things.

Jordan

Inspiration at 13:10 on 29 May 2009  Report this post
Very good, a nicely rounded story!

Really enjoyed it, and funny, too.

XXXInniXXX


Prospero at 17:49 on 29 May 2009  Report this post
Very clever, Jennifer, the twist took me completely by surprise. A great story well written.

Best

Prosp.

tusker at 06:38 on 30 May 2009  Report this post
Thanks a lot, Inni and John.

Glad you liked it.

Jennifer


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