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A Tribute in the Old Manner

by Jordan789 

Posted: 18 June 2009
Word Count: 491
Summary: For Jumbo's challenge. I hope you all enjoy!


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Eddy stood with his wife and his one child besides the coffin of his father. He felt the sun on his face. His father had worked eighteen hour days for most of his life and when he retired he took an interest in the raising of his grandson. He brought the boy to baseball games and drove him to school each morning. Eddy’s boy stood to his right, waist high. He sighed continuously. The boy had been crying for two days. Eddy put his hand on the boy’s shoulder and squeezed.

“A pint-sized giant,” his father coined him. “Grandpa’s pint-sized giant, come here.” His voice was all sandpaper, pipe smoke and steak.

Eddy didn’t remember much of his own childhood. He remembered the house and his father coming home and eatting dinner in front of the television with his foot crossed over his knee, size twelve hole-ridden socks stinking of all eighteen hours. At seventeen Eddy told his father he wanted to be an artist. “What kind of artist?” He wanted to know.

“Like Andy Warhol. Or Picasso.”

“Forget those two, be yourself,” he said. “And any time you need a job you know who to call.”

Eddy tried for ten years. He graduated and he worked in bars and restaurants. He produced decent oil paintings and abstract conglomerations: generally they included an assortment of garbage-picked items hot glued to plywood. He let his father pay for his schooling, but afterwards he refused assistance. And then he met Sue, and after ten years of her subtle hints at his lack of talent, he decided there were things more important than fish hooks and spray painted cardboard. Sue gave birth to a son.

His father had turned to God after he retired. The revival of his faith had been an attempt to accept death. Plus, the church membership gave him something to do: besides the biweekly sermons, he sat in on church Bridge tournaments Tuesday and Thursday nights; and, one weekend a month, a group of the elder gentleman went upstate to shoot deer.

The pastor at his father’s church offered to say a few words. He stood before the mound of orange dirt, squinting into the sun. He had been the hunting buddy of Eddy’s father, and his last best friend. He cleared his throat. “Some people live their lives like death is waiting for them every time they step out of the front door. Not Marcus.” He shared a story about spending a night in a tree hut, only two weeks ago, the two of them twenty feet in the air and scanning the forest with night vision goggles. “Which reminds me. If there is anyone over sixty, and not afraid to climb a ladder. There is a trip next weekend.”

And Eddy knew what he would paint next: two foolish old men up in a plywood tree house-manor, night vision goggles on their heads, shotguns slung over their shoulders.






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Comments by other Members



tusker at 06:04 on 19 June 2009  Report this post
I enjoyed this, Jordan.

Loved the relationship between the grandson and grandfather, also the son's understanding of what his father had been through and what he'd done for him.

A good last sentence.

Jennifer

Prospero at 07:20 on 19 June 2009  Report this post
Good stuff, Jordan, you got the relationships over really well. I really liked the line about people who live life as though death is waiting for them every time they step outside the door. That is so true. I know some of those. Me, I have every intention of having a disgraceful old age.

Best

Prosp

optimist at 17:00 on 20 June 2009  Report this post
Rely warm story - I loved the relationships and the sadness - and the detail of the painting at the end -

And Eddy knew what he would paint next: two foolish old men up in a plywood tree house-manor, night vision goggles on their heads, shotguns slung over their shoulders.


Really liked this -

“Like Andy Warhol. Or Picasso.”

“Forget those two, be yourself,” he said. “And any time you need a job you know who to call.”


Sarah

Findy at 18:54 on 20 June 2009  Report this post
Hi Jordan

Really nice story, agree with Jennifer about the last line.

Typo - eatting dinner

findy

Jumbo at 11:59 on 21 June 2009  Report this post
Jordan

Oh yes, very nicely done. The sadness of the family deftly sketched out. Marcus was obviously a wise old man, and the dialogue is spot on.

A lovely piece of writing.

Thanks for the read,

john

ps Don't worry abut Prospero, I've heard he's been disgraceful at whatever age he happens to be!!


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