Login   Sign Up 


Listen SUCKER!

by keithhodges 

Posted: 04 August 2009
Word Count: 280
Summary: This my late attempt at the challenge, it loosely has all 3 words in it! It was just something I was thinking in bed last night - one of those wouldn't it be weird moments so I figured I'd incorperate it!

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

“Listen sucker! You don’t intrude my personal time and space and not feel the pain!” He shouted as his hate filled his voice shook his gold with fear, making him look even more menacing.

“You waltz in here, I love to hate you punk, I love it sucker!” He turned his back, the muscle, the stature of this mean meat machine was evident, but he couldn’t walk away; he had to teach this one a real lesson in pain. He turned back to his enemy, the intruder; who was frozen still on the spot.

“It’s time sucker, I’m gonna love this, and you sucker, you’re gonna feel the pain.” In one almighty swing, his fist slammed through his enemy sending him flying through the air and crashing into the wall, he hit the floor like a dropped sack of potatoes, broken in the middle.

“That’s what you get sucker, this is my space, that’s what intruders get sucker.” With out even batting an eye lid the man straightened his Mohawk up and sat back in the small flowery chair on the other side of the room, poured himself a glass of milk and went back to watching his favourite show, The A Team.

After a few hours of back to back episodes the man heard a key in the door, he jumped towards his enemy to dispose of the body but it was too late. He’d been caught. The eyes of the woman standing before him filled with hate, how could he explain; he stared at her blankly. Slowly she spoke.

“Norman, that vacuum cleaner was the only thing my mother left me, all I wanted was a clean lounge.”

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

tusker at 14:02 on 04 August 2009  Report this post
I loved this Keith.

Weird and funny. A Hoover!! That's how I feel sometimes, and I remember The A Team.

Norman? Now isn't he the Psycho guy? Or is your MC just another misunderstood individual?


jenzarina at 15:31 on 04 August 2009  Report this post
Oh, Norman! Just don't let him watch any Tarantino!
This made me smile, especially as it's the hoover that gets it. Good twist.

keithhodges at 10:52 on 05 August 2009  Report this post
Glad you like it! This pleases me! I think it works well. apart from the obvious grammer and spelling mistakes that follow me around, I've cleared them up now though.

Norman as you wel noticed is a misunderstood fellow I'd assume, lost in his own world of TV and depression!

Laurence at 00:04 on 06 August 2009  Report this post
Made me smile! Clever little piece.


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .