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Let me be me

by pene 

Posted: 11 November 2003
Word Count: 36
Summary: not sure this works??? would welcome any comments....
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I am a figment
of my own imagination,
a people pleasing
pleasure seeking
chemical abhorration.
I brace belligerant
in the face of
clinical cynical psychiatry,
repudiating a prescribed
anti psychotic pill personality,
I fight to be....






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olebut at 22:06 on 11 November 2003  Report this post
Pene

welcome back and as always very profound and moving words I have to admit they sound like the start of a song lyric to me pink floydish perhaps.

take care and a great poem

david xx
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peterxbrown at 00:04 on 12 November 2003  Report this post
I think you are exploring the condition in an exciting and experimental way. I think the broken lines work well and the phrases (such as "cynical clinical" and "pill personality")are brilliant! The alliteration is also effective as it adds power and spits venom.I enjoy the different techniques you use to communicate. Love and respect as always pene,
peterb xxx
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Bobo at 08:39 on 12 November 2003  Report this post
Pene - this is a fantastically punchy piece of writing. The alliteration works well and almost gives it a rap quality.

Well Done!

BoBo
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Account Closed at 18:13 on 15 November 2003  Report this post
Lovely! As BoBo says, very rap. Like the half-rhymes of all those long intellectual (at least to me!) words. One query - is it "belligerent"?? or "belligerant"??

Anne B
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