Login   Sign Up 


Untitled Chapter 3 part 2

by Doyaldinho 

Posted: 17 January 2010
Word Count: 923
Summary: The second part of my third chapter. I've been beavering away with this and done around 18,000 words so far but neglected to upload any for a while. Let me know what you think and by all means nit pick away.

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

Mirkwater Marsh finally receded into dense woodland, this was Fletchwood; a tightly packed forest of yew conifers, ash, poplar, silver birch and oak. Revan, Bren and Alain were making their way along the west bank of Mirkwater Lake, searching for the path north towards Middlebrook. Path was a term the locals used loosely; it was little more than a gap in the undergrowth that was occasionally hacked clear by the Middlebrook Town Guard.

The lake was still, this combined with the vastness of the lake to make the water appear as glass, it seemed almost solid due to the lack of current. The sun was high and the reflection from the surface of the lake almost blinded the three travelers.

In contrast to the open lake, the forest reared up to the west and north; the lush greens of the close-knit trees were interrupted by explosions of white, gold and red wildflowers.

Bren was carrying his dead friend Kai across his shoulders. They had bound his body in bandages. Alain was free of his bonds and Revan had agreed to take him as far as the West Road.

Revan took the lead with Bren at the rear carrying his fallen comrade. Alain was looking even worse for wear than he did in the depths of the marsh. He was never a fan of battles, especially when he was in them! He trudged on behind Revan debating with himself whether he should pipe up with any questions or not.

Revan could feel the uneasy tension in the air, it was beginning frustrate him after the first mile out of the swamp, now in the fifth it was starting to vex him.

“What’s wrong Alain?” he said.

“Erm… nothing.” Uttered Alain with a degree of hesitation.

“You know for a thief you’re a very bad liar.” Said Revan “What’s on your mind? Is it how far we’ve got to go? How long it will take? Or do you not trust me to keep my word?”

The trio stopped, and Alain looked up from his feet and gazed at Revan. “Kind of all three.” He said meekly, “Nobody has ever been this kind to me and I’m just waiting for the punch line. Namely the Middlebrook Town Guard to be waiting for us when we get out of Fletchwood.”

Revan smiled and placed his hand on Alain’s shoulder, “Alain, I take it you have had a hard life?”

The thief nodded, “Harder than some I may say.”

“My word is good Alain, you can trust me. You shall have your freedom; mercy is not something I lack when it comes to souls such as yours. I can tell you are not all bad, merely a victim of unfortunate circumstances.” Said Revan

“Aye my Lord, that’s right.”

Revan smiled “You can trust me Alain, and in response to your two other silent questions we have right miles to travel once we find the road and with any luck we’ll be in open country before nightfall.”

Alain seemed slightly reassured; Revan switched his attention to his other companion.

“How are you holding up Bren?” he said.

“I’m fine Revan. It is my duty to carry Kai, he is my burden and I will carry him for days if I have to.” Bren’s resolve was like iron.

“Then we shall press on, I would like to keep the Fletchwood wolves waiting!”

Revan winked at Alain as he turned and continued leading the march around the pebble beach fringe of the lake.

“Wolves?” said Alain “Nobody said anything about wolves!”

Bren chuckled, “Don’t worry about whether or not you are faster than a wolf Alain, merely worry about whether or not you are faster than us!”

Bren’s comment was met with a feigned wry smile from Alain, who turned and increased his pace a little from a trudge to a brisk walk.

“Yes, I would like for us to get into open country before nightfall!” he said.

They walked along the beach for an hour before they found the local’s path; they marched along the dirt track for several hours. The forest seemed to never end, the myriad of trees closed in all about them, almost fighting each other for air and space.

The wildflowers were less common the deeper into Fletchwood they travelled and the colours of the forest became almost monochrome. The sun failed to penetrate the canopy with any significant force. A scattering of light rays pierced through the leaves but the forest maintained a dusky atmosphere.

Their journey through to West Road was uneventful, to which Alain was particularly thankful. The tree line came to an abrupt end at the roadside. The granite slabs stretched out west into the horizon, and the town of Middlebrook loomed a few miles to the west.

Revan and Bren bade Alain farewell, tears were beginning to nestle in his eyes and he embraced them both. Alain sloped off the East, but Revan called him back after a few paces.

“Alain wait.” He shouted and jogged over to him. “Take this.”

Revan handed him three gold pieces, a small fortune to a man such as Alain, who was used to only seeing copper and silver coins. He was speechless, his eyes lit up and he greeted Revan’s generosity with a wide, yellow-toothed smile. He hugged Revan again, who tried his earnest not to inhale during the embrace, and departed once again westward.

Revan laughed to himself and he and Bren, carrying Kai, began their journey eastward towards the town of Middlebrook.

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

Joella at 20:46 on 18 January 2010  Report this post
I liked this story when I read the prologue. Catching up now, I've just read the previous chapters. I remain as intrigued as ever, enjoyed some of your more descriptive passages:

'...the lush greens of the close-knit trees were interrupted by explosions of white, gold and red wildflowers.'

'..the colours of the forest became almost monochrome.'

All I would say is that some of your sentences are rather long. In the opening sentence, i think I'd put a full stop after woodland.

I'm no expert, however, so feel free to ignore.

Doyaldinho at 20:54 on 18 January 2010  Report this post
Thanks Joella, I'll upload some more next week.

Just scanned through it again and noticed some horrible mistakes! My head is hung in shame! Haha!

To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .